Top Ten of 2011

I did teh definitive Top Ten in 2009, but lest Auld acquaintance have forgotted, I'll do another one this time - but first,,,

Teh end of teh year - a time for getting blind drunk introspection. Let's take a look at my goals and see how I did:

1. 100 posts. Nope. Didn't even hit last year's mark.
2. AWESOME-ness. Check.
3. Photoshoppery. Check.
4. Your mom. Check.
5. Team Haislip. Check.

4 out of 5 - and teh only one I missed is teh only verifiable one. Not bad. And without further ado, TOP TEN REASONS WHY I DIDN'T HIT 100 POSTS THIS PAST YEAR

10. Post length. OMFG, I've gotten bloviating diarrhea. I gotta remember that "without further ado" thing and try and use it moar.
9. Your mom.
8. I'm lazy.
7. Too much farting around at CT.
6. Skyward Sword. Yes I only started playing this week, but I had this grand plan to crap out a couple dozen EPIC posts about every little thing in a flurry of Galtian überproductivity. You can blame teh stupid Temple of Earth (aka teh LAVA LEVEL) for Mankind's loss.
5. Your mom.
4. Teh dearth of Louise Burns YouTubes.
3. Uhhh, I forget teh third one.
2. Your mom.
1. PENIS. Totes heterosexually of course.

Owen Mediocre At Best

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BREAKING!!!! SECOND AMENDMENT UNDER ASSAULT! UPDATED!!!

For XBox Marketplace avatars anyways.

Wait. What does this have to do with teh Kenyan Usurper? Well, guess who doesn't have an XBox? d00d has that inscrutable oriental console with a name what sounds liek a slang term for PENIS. That's right, not only does teh foreign usurper favour foreign game consoles to USA #1 consoles - he's now taking away all teh guns! What's next? Rounding up all teh dissenting XBox Marketplace avatars and locking them up in concentration camps? Maybe PS Home?! OMFG!

BREAKING UPDATE! MUST CREDIT FOR SECOND PLAYER!! PRESIDENT OBAMA CAUGHT OUT IN A LIE! BREAKING!!!

In the video he clearly admonishes teh press corpse that they will never ever get a photo of him playing any dance video game. Clearly an outright lie as can be seen below:

Additional notes:
1. WTF d00d! Nice job ruining Christmas for your own daughters. I can just hear Malia saying "OMG, I never would have guessed you got us Just Dance 3 if I hadn't seen it on teh evening news!"
2. LOL! Always gets an F rating. I can out dance teh preznit! At least in teh video games. That hasn't been troo since Franklin Polio Roosevelt.
3. Teh reason he didn't get Skyward Sword - OMG it's right there in teh middle of teh freaking display! - is that he's probably already finished it. Whereas I will have to wait until at least tomorrow.

Merry Rick-mas

TRIGGER WARNING: Four Rick Astley vids follow - none of which are gonna give you up.

OMG. Teh POWAH of teh intart00bs has prevented d00d from aging.



New singles last year! OMG! Intartubules, why did you not tell me of this?!



AND



And WTF?! d00d's a drummer too!

Why We Fight: War On Christmas Edition - Musical interlude

Christmas music is old. Old old old old old. They call it "traditional". Hrmph. Even teh new stuff, all gets released so close to Christmas, that teh best a blogger can do is embed last year's stuff. Anyways, here are some traditional and classic oldies.

Pr0n Objectivises Women

Last year Lara Croft returned in a different kind of puzzle-action game, Teh Guardian of Light. It was a big change for teh Tomb Raider series which had been doing pretty horribly at teh time. Fixed camera isometric multi-player - download only non-AAA title. Sort of an anti-Tomb Raider Tomb Raider game. And it was just what was needed - selling pretty well for a download only game, and racking up review scores that Lara hadn't seen in a decade. And now there's another game planned for teh series scheduled for next year. And it looks fucking amazing. Anyways, all of this to say that Lara Croft is going to survive being portrayed by Angelina Jolie in two movies to return to pop culture prominence. You know how I can tell? They're doing new pr0n parodies of it.

Why am I telling you this? Teh comments. They take a turn for teh amusing.

First comment is an Objectivist - oops sorry, Ethical Naturalist -with an Ayn Rand quote explaining why he lieks strong women. Ayn Rand. BwaaAHAHhAHHAHahahHAH.

Teh beat down is administered all round with a showing of teh Kung Fu Monkey quote most often attributed to Krugthulu (and is ongoing at teh time of blogging). But liek a good Objectivist, he smugs himself up on his high horse and sneers at all teh folks who are pointing out that his John Galt underoos are badly shitstained. It's stretching into a fair length post about how "objectivism" is objectively teh Awesome with a tangent on how bagging on Ayn Rand is all fine and dandy since she was so horribly bad, but calling her a slut is over teh line. Really, it's an amazing conversation.

In a thread about PORN.

You can tell which one is teh Objectivist at an orgy - they're teh one lecturing teh sweaty heaving bodies about how they lurve teh sex because they are so superior at it.

Teh Apple of My Pie

I just noticed that yesterday's Opo salad was teh second time I food blogged. And teh first time, I said something about in-progress photos. Ooops. To remedy, a photo essay (with mouseovers):

And now for teh classic cooking show sleight of hand! These are actually strawberry-rhubarbs that I made a month ago to test teh technique.