Love Thy Father And Mother

Someone would like to portray himself as the master.

Your dad grows potatoes up his bum,
About tubers, he thinks “Yum!”
Starchy anuses make him cum
But he’s totes vanilla compared to your mum.

The men who have fucked your dad in the ass,
Is a number that very few will surpass.
He’s been had by every Hairy Dicked Tom,
But still by fewer than have fucked your mom.

Your dad’s prostate is sore and bruised
From all the rough ways it has been used.
He’s a downright skanky old bear,
But a model of virtue considering ta mère.

Your dad, when he’s really in luck
Has Yorkshiremen give his butt a fuck.
“Luxury!” he screams as his ass gets raw
But he’s a prude compared to your ma.

Your dad eats shit for the win,
That’s why he has that grin.
But the frothy mixture known as Santorum
Is much better suited to the whore that’s your mum.

UPDATE: Yes, there's moar.

Your dad’s ass is wider than you think,
Wider even than your favourite link
It can contain multitudes and then some,
But not quite as much as that whore, your mom.

Your daddy loves guys on construction sites
To fill up his hole and his nights.
But while he fucks those men again,
Your mom’s playing hide the crane.

And your dad goes nearly bezerk
As those men go about their work,
“MOAR MOAR” he stammers,
As your mom rides the jackhammers.

All those men your dad has laid,
But it’s your mom that’s the one that gets paid.
Because all he does is scream for MOAR
But your mom, she’s the whore.