What Teh Zelda!

I'm docking Skyword Sword another point. It's been over a month since I defeated Demise, and there is still this loose end that is aggravating teh crap out of me.

SPOILERS. Srsly, will be talking aboot teh end of teh gaem.

So, in this runthrough, Zelda's pretty important. In teh first part, where teh player is running around trying to "save" Zelda, she's preparing herself to hold off teh demonic force bent on world destruction by using teh sheer force of her will. For a thousand years. That's right. She goes back in times thousand years to hold teh Forces of Evil at bay until Link can get his act together enough to Triforce teh Big Bad out of existence.

Great. I am all for strong female leads. This seems a shittybway of treating her, locking her in a crystal cocoon for a millennium, constantly struggling against teh embodiment of hate and destruction, but wev.

Anyways, after Link manages to invoke teh most powerful artifact of teh universe to wipe Demise out of existence, Zelda is released for teh cocoon. She no longer needs to keep a plug on teh world destroying evil forces. It's pretty anticlimactic as there is no Final Boss fight at this point.

So, of course, teh number 1 henchd00d steals teh awakened Zelda and retreats throu teh time portal to teh thousand years ago past to sacrifice her in some crazy ritual which will release teh Big Bad to destroy teh world a thousand years prior to where Link is moping about his Epic amount of uselessness.

All of which means that teh Player has to take Link into teh past for teh Final Boss fights. When you win those, Link and Zelda go back to teh future and live happily ever after.

Have you spotted teh problem? I did while teh credits were running, and it's still bothering me.

When you go back in time with thousand-year-old Zelda, guess who's already there? Not-thousand-year-old-Zelda. In her crystal cocoon. She's right there behind teh big doors - you watched her go into teh cocoon a mere five or seven cutscenes ago. Guess who doesn't come back to teh future? Not-thousand-year-old Zelda. Who would probs be released from teh cocoon shortly after Demise meets his demise. Stuck in teh past. WTF!

Unless there's going to be a spinoff/sequel with Zelda and Impa making their way in teh devastated ancient surface world - exiled from teh future and without a connection to teh humans in Skyloft. That'd be pretty cool. But otherwise, WTF.

Uh - Okay, I Forgot to Title the Post.

HOLY FUCK. Set your stupid-ass bullshit blockers to max folks, this one's a humdinger.
Althouse's latest post is part of one of the batch of next conservative blog putrage. Apparently Obama is practically Nixonian in his keeping of an enemies list. Proof? Check it out.

House Republican Leader John Boehner plans to hammer President Obama during an election-eve rally on Monday night, for his use of the word “enemies” during an interview with Univision radio that got huge play in the conservative blogosphere.

OMG! Obama's all about teh ENEMIES of TEH STATE! TOTALITARIAN SOJALLESMASM!!one!

The president said: “If Latinos sit out the election instead of saying, ‘We’re gonna punish our enemies, and we’re gonna reward our friends who stand with us on issues that are important to us’ — if they don’t see that kind of upsurge in voting in this election — then I think it’s going to be harder. And that’s why I think it’s so important that people focus on voting on November 2nd.”

Uh- wait, that doesn't sound so bad.

In remarks prepared for delivery to a rally in Cincinnati with Rob Portman, the GOP nominee for Senate in Ohio, and John Kasich, the GOP nominee for Ohio governor, Boehner says:

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have a president in the White House who referred to Americans who disagree with him as ‘our enemies.’...Mr. President, there's a word for people who have the audacity to speak up in defense of freedom, the Constitution, and the values of limited government that made our country great. We don't call them ‘enemies.’ We call them ‘patriots.’”

There you have it. Not voting is PATRIOTIC.

UPDATE: Kudos to Althouse commenter Irene who points out that Althouse has cried about this Wolf before.

The pattern apparently is: Obama does something (encourages Latinos to vote, talks directly to CEO's of major corporations instead of their Special Interest Group, &c.). It upsets a Republican who then mischaracterizes it as some sort of "ENEMIES LIST". Althouse calls Obama Nixon. I think she must have a Google Alert for "Obama enemies list".

Poe or Not Poe - Libertarian Edition

I don't check up on ScienceBlogs regularly so "Poe or not Poe" is new to me and I LOLed when I first saw it at teh Mothership.  Now that the Tea Party has helped blur the lines between fringe RaptureReady™ GodBotherers and fringe RandianUbermann weirdos - I wonder if there's a Poe's Law for small government conservativism.

flagged Steve Benen at Wash Monthly, The Dumbest Libertarian Quote EVAR!!1!one!BlockquotesIsTheft!

"The family should be left to resolve it on their own," Biondolillo said. "Or private enterprise - private companies can contact the family and say, 'We heard you were hitting your kids. Can you stop that?' "

I'm a Guitar Slinging Demon

via Radio 3

Further evidence of police incompetency.

Busting a marijuana grow-op is fairly routine for police in B.C.’s West Kootenay region. But when RCMP raided a grow-op near the tiny town of Christina Lake recently, they found what they say was an unusual security contingent – a troop of black bears.

Officers were “a little shocked” to discover 10 bears prowling the property like live “traps” waiting to greet intruders, said RCMP spokesman Corporal Dan Moskaluk.

Officers went about their work “cautiously,” said Corp. Moskaluk, but quickly realized the bears were quite mellow.

No doubt they were mellow. Heh.

There was no evidence the bears were also being fed marijuana.

WTF?!

But wait, there's more!

“Inside the residence there was a large pig roaming around and there was a large raccoon sleeping on the bed,” Corp. Moskaluk said. “Who knows what the raccoon was up to because he was just vegging in the house ... the pig was strolling around the household. He seemed to be a bit more nervous than the raccoon about the police officers’ presence.”

I'm starting to think that this was actually the set of a new sitcom.

Speaking of Mary Jane and Radio 3, here's your indie Canookistani song for teh post:

Charlotte Hatherley

I hadn't heard of Charlotte Hatherley before. She's apparently the new guitarist playing with KT Tunstall - so I thought I'd check out what the intertubes had on her. OMFG. How teh hell did she do this?



edit: Fucking Youtube, how do these dimensions work?

WTF: Bill Sparkman - updated

Some thing make you scratch your head.  This is one.  Well, actually it's the bit that comes next.

Bill Sparkman, census worker - found dead with a rope around his neck hanging from a tree with the word "fed" scrawled on his chest.  Could be the workings of some deranged right-wing nutjob that the right blogosphere is insistent that law enforcement not be warned about.  But maybe not - apparently the area is rife with illegal pot farms and other lovely aspects of rural Kentucky.  God Bless The South.

Here is where the confusion sets in.

...saying that investigators had not yet determined even whether the death was a homicide.

and

Previous reporting "left the impression that [Sparkman] was found strung up in a tree because he was a federal employee," Beyer said. "At this juncture that's not accurate." Beyer added that Sparkman died of asphyxiation.

Seriously investigator d00ds, this is fucking bullshit.  Are you trying to tell us that you are seriously considering the possibility that Mr. Sparkman died of natural asphyxiative causes, or commited suicide by hanging himself in such a way that he was still touching the ground?  I appreciate that you don't want to release any information that might jeopordize your investigation - but right now you are looking like fucking idiots.

UPDATE:  h/t owlbear1 in this Sadly, No! comment thread

"The only thing he had on was a pair of socks," Weaver said. "And they had duct-taped his hands, his wrists. He had duct tape over his eyes, and they gagged him with a red rag or something.

"And they even had duct tape around his neck. And they had like his identification tag on his neck. They had it duct-taped to the side of his neck, on the right side, almost on his right shoulder."

Seriously investigator d00ds, WTF are you thinking?  Let's get the official word:

Trooper Trosper said it was clear this wasn't a natural death but said all other possibilities were being considered.

"This case has many facets," he said. "To investigate cases, you have to rule out different scenarios. We are not able to rule out many scenarios at this time, and that's what makes this a difficult case."

Really?  What other possible scenarios are there?