What Teh Zelda!

I'm docking Skyword Sword another point. It's been over a month since I defeated Demise, and there is still this loose end that is aggravating teh crap out of me.

SPOILERS. Srsly, will be talking aboot teh end of teh gaem.

So, in this runthrough, Zelda's pretty important. In teh first part, where teh player is running around trying to "save" Zelda, she's preparing herself to hold off teh demonic force bent on world destruction by using teh sheer force of her will. For a thousand years. That's right. She goes back in times thousand years to hold teh Forces of Evil at bay until Link can get his act together enough to Triforce teh Big Bad out of existence.

Great. I am all for strong female leads. This seems a shittybway of treating her, locking her in a crystal cocoon for a millennium, constantly struggling against teh embodiment of hate and destruction, but wev.

Anyways, after Link manages to invoke teh most powerful artifact of teh universe to wipe Demise out of existence, Zelda is released for teh cocoon. She no longer needs to keep a plug on teh world destroying evil forces. It's pretty anticlimactic as there is no Final Boss fight at this point.

So, of course, teh number 1 henchd00d steals teh awakened Zelda and retreats throu teh time portal to teh thousand years ago past to sacrifice her in some crazy ritual which will release teh Big Bad to destroy teh world a thousand years prior to where Link is moping about his Epic amount of uselessness.

All of which means that teh Player has to take Link into teh past for teh Final Boss fights. When you win those, Link and Zelda go back to teh future and live happily ever after.

Have you spotted teh problem? I did while teh credits were running, and it's still bothering me.

When you go back in time with thousand-year-old Zelda, guess who's already there? Not-thousand-year-old-Zelda. In her crystal cocoon. She's right there behind teh big doors - you watched her go into teh cocoon a mere five or seven cutscenes ago. Guess who doesn't come back to teh future? Not-thousand-year-old Zelda. Who would probs be released from teh cocoon shortly after Demise meets his demise. Stuck in teh past. WTF!

Unless there's going to be a spinoff/sequel with Zelda and Impa making their way in teh devastated ancient surface world - exiled from teh future and without a connection to teh humans in Skyloft. That'd be pretty cool. But otherwise, WTF.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I'll give you a strong WTF.

I remember playing Legend of Zelda for hours, along with Blades of Steel!.

Also, teh hangovers and headaches the next day.

OBS said...

Sorta related