Showing posts with label Lists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lists. Show all posts

2012-01-01

Viva Les Resolutions!

It's yet another Doomsday Year. Also too, election season for teh USA. Gonna be fun times.

So I missed 100 posts. But in doing so, I lurned a bit about meself. I'm not a blogger. I'm a commenter. Generally, when I write, I assume teh reader already has a lot of teh context and background. This is great when it's a reply comment in a thread headed up with a well written post - but it makes for shoddy original posts.

What does this mean? Basically nothing. I kinda knew all along and really, this blog hasn't affected my cavorting around in S,N! threads. Teh reason I started blogging in teh first place was because occasionally I need to vent in a longer format then is appropriate for a thread comment. Also too, serves as a way to get teh voices in my head out. Meaning that teh disconnected and highly unpolished nature of my posting is feature not bug. Which kinda sucks for teh two or three folks looking forward to descriptions of how I boned their moms - but teh muse only comes when you use teh up on teh downstroke technique she does.

So, yet another rambling streamofconsciousness intro. And here's teh funneh part - having lurned a bit about myself in failing to hit a hundred posts, Imma see if I can lurn something new for next year. So without further ado,

Staircase Twit Resolutions 2011

1. A hundred posts.
2. Be AWESOME.
3. Finally get a blogroll up,,, well that one was easy.
4. Moar doggerel. Not necessarily about your mom.
5. Rationalize teh tag mess.

Happy Election Year guys.

2011-12-31

Top Ten of 2011

I did teh definitive Top Ten in 2009, but lest Auld acquaintance have forgotted, I'll do another one this time - but first,,,

Teh end of teh year - a time for getting blind drunk introspection. Let's take a look at my goals and see how I did:

1. 100 posts. Nope. Didn't even hit last year's mark.
2. AWESOME-ness. Check.
3. Photoshoppery. Check.
4. Your mom. Check.
5. Team Haislip. Check.

4 out of 5 - and teh only one I missed is teh only verifiable one. Not bad. And without further ado, TOP TEN REASONS WHY I DIDN'T HIT 100 POSTS THIS PAST YEAR

10. Post length. OMFG, I've gotten bloviating diarrhea. I gotta remember that "without further ado" thing and try and use it moar.
9. Your mom.
8. I'm lazy.
7. Too much farting around at CT.
6. Skyward Sword. Yes I only started playing this week, but I had this grand plan to crap out a couple dozen EPIC posts about every little thing in a flurry of Galtian überproductivity. You can blame teh stupid Temple of Earth (aka teh LAVA LEVEL) for Mankind's loss.
5. Your mom.
4. Teh dearth of Louise Burns YouTubes.
3. Uhhh, I forget teh third one.
2. Your mom.
1. PENIS. Totes heterosexually of course.

2011-01-01

Happy New Years!

Resolutions:
1. Now that 2010 is over, I've got my first calendar year tally of posts. Ninety-two. So for 2011, I resolve to post marginally more often. I'm going to break 100 for 2011.
2. Generally, be AWESOME.
3. Lurn Photoshop, but only at an incredibly basic level. Enough to start pasting sammiches into images of random conservative bloggers and pundits. Considering how lazy I am, expect to see my first work of vandalism in December.
4. Do your mom.
5. Pull "I'm With Alison" off before Candace starts her gig. I'm still with Alison but there really ought to be a limit to WATB-antics. And Candace already has a steep enough uphill road to travel. Plus it's probably what Alison would want anyways, she's so classy and professional. BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT ALISON WAS ROBBED.

2010-12-31

Top 10 of 2010

It's that time of year again. The retrospective look back at the past twelve months - and of course in the standard Top Ten format.

Unfortunately, I wrote the definitive Top Ten List last year so this time I'm actually going to have a topic. And since I didn't officially Air Any Grievances this holiday season:

Top Ten Disappointments of 2010 (although with my memory and attention span it's more like Top 8 Disappointments from the past four weeks and maybe a couple others)

10. Barack Obama. I know he never claimed to be Liberal Jesus - that he was always a compromise seeker and consensus builder. And he did get some stuff done. Still, for a guy who so thoroughly captured the entire world's attention - who truly seemed like a tranformative figure - he certainly didn't seem to be personally involved in pushing forward his agenda. Well except to tell the dirty fucking hippies to grow up and bend over. There's stuff he's done specifically too that will be getting their own numbers.

9. Accountability for G20 violations. On the part of the police. The LEAFS SUCK police separtment has a special watchdog called the Special Investigations Unit. The SIU looked into allegations of use of excessive force during the G20 protests and found clear evidence of it. Reasonable grounds to proceed with criminally investiagting police officers for violating the law. No charges will be laid and no investigation will proceed. Why? Because the police are unco-operative. Let me be as clear as possible on this. There is "reasonable grounds" to believe that excessive force was used - that a crime was in fact committed - and in the case involving Adam Nobody - with a minimum of five police officers present as witnesses. No investigation is being conducted because the police refuse to answer questions. Fuck.

8. The Healthcare Sellout. This still bothers me. And if you've got a problem with that - if you're thinking the words "perfect the enemy of the good", then Fuck You. Hey, all those imperfect flaws that had to be included but could be fixed later on? It's been a year - are there any plans on how those fixes might happen?

7. Mayor Rob Ford. What a fucking farce. A raftload of candidates more qualified and less batshit bugfuck crazy - all imploded. Even when he was gathering steam and the Anyone But Ford sentiment started crystallizing, what happened? The liberal and progressive candidates moved rightwards to copy Rob. Fucking pathetic.

6. The Tax Cut Sellout. Really? The compromise tax cut plan is the Joe The Plumber plan? Fantastic.

5. The Economy. I don't travel much, but this year I got to spend some time in Oklahoma City. North of the border, we weren't hit nearly as hard by the financial meltdown so I didn't have any understanding of how bad it was until I got to Oklahoma. It's a city that's had it's downtown core completely de-populated and then a small theme park dropped in to replace it. just looking at all those stretches of empty store fronts brought it into focus.

4. The continued acceptance of war crimes in the name of protecting the free world from terrorists. Message for you shitfucks with the solitary confinement, sleep disruption and the whole host of other enhanced interrogation techniques - Private Bradley Manning being the current victim de jour. The inhuman monsters that are a threat to civilization? It ain't the "terrorists".

3. Alison was robbed.

2. Something about your mother. Just kidding, your mom never disappoints.

1. The media. Spineless stenographers? Not even. Stenos at least manually enter the stuff that's dictated at them. Jerkwad douchebag fucking shitstains. But to be fair and balanced, some folks feel that it's only most journalists that are complete wastes of sperm as well as goat-fucking baby murderers - and the rest are worse.

Also, WTF is the criteria to get a regular op-ed spot in the top tier newsrags? It is fucking pathetic the bullshit that gets printed on those op-ed pages. Yeah yeah, yelling at clouds - water is wet - can't fight city hall - talking to a wall - &c. Bullshit op-ed pieces are the heart and soul of newspaper fascism and never will it ever eveer change. Still pisses me off though.

2009-12-31

Top 10 of 2009

So, fin d'annee - time for lists.

Lists are a great way to crank out content.  You can just throw unrelated shit together, stick numbers at the head of them and voila - content.  And really, end of year is the best time to do this, it's a total excuse to be  do a post while putting as small an amount of effort in as possible - and that sounds to me like a winnah!  But in an effort to expand the scope of the carp don't-give-a-shit-ness of the List post, I'm going one step further.  You see, usually no unifying theme is really needed, BUT you do need to pretend because the list has to be the top 10 somethings.  Well fuck that noise.  D-KW on the cutting edge of lazy-ass bloggerating presents the following:

The Top 10 of 2009

10.  Something or other.
9.  Yeah, well Fuck You!
8.  PENIS.
7.  Hey remember that time back in early spring when that guy did that thing and everyone was like "Whoah."  Good Times.
6.  Hey remember that time back in early summer when that guy did that thing and everyone was like "Whoah." Good Times.

5.  Hey remember that time back in early fall when that guy did that thing and everyone was like "Whoah." Good Times.

4.  Doing your mom.
3.  PENIS.
2.  Good Times.
1.  PENIS.