2011-12-30

Owen Mediocre At Best

Paul Christoforo. What a piece of work. Anyways, that's teh background information. Since then, we've learned that Paul Christoforo is genuinely sorry that he picked on someone above his weight class, which apparently is everybody.

Anywho, Owen Good at Kotaku has taken this opportunity to smother himself in outright FAIL. Let's just jump right into his ridiculous nonsensical premise - here it is:
Bullies never take the first swing. They look for a pretext that justifies one.
WTF? d00d, does this even mean anything? Does it mean anything to you? FFS, OMG, LOL. There, I just maed much moar sense than Owen Good did.

Bullies nevar take teh first swing? Owen is fuck-ed up. Bullies ALWAYS take teh first swing. Self-defemse isn't bullying. Oh wait, he clarifies - bullies look for some flimsy jusification for their first punch, liek "d00d looked at me wrnog", or "rumour has it that he's gay", or wev. Great, what teh world truly needs is moar validation for teh justifications of sociopathic assholes.

Christoforo took teh first swing. Dave prepaid for a product promised for early December. No one's getting an Avenger until January 15. People who didn't pre-order were getting discounts. It was fucked up. d00d had every right to be pissed off. Christoforo first lied to him about teh delivery date and then told him to put on his big boy hat and then threatened to arbitrarily cancel his order so that he could eBay teh product himself. Christoforo acted exactly as he's being portrayed, liek a world class douchebag.

Here is Owen's take on it (emphasis his):
Re-read the email thread, before the fireworks begin, before Christoforo lips off to Krahulik and then truly gets what's coming to him. Dave, full of customer-is-always-right dudgeon, is as much of an instigator in this as anyone. Paul is being offensively bureaucratic and his inability to use proper spelling or grammar, or to be bothered to correct such mistakes, certainly disrespects the reader.

The shitshow really only begins when Dave unloads a pedantic lecture on his consumer rights and Paul's responsibilities (with plenty of all-caps), appends some extraneous insults to let Paul know he looked him up on Facebook, and then puts our tips email (and evidently IGN's and Engadget's) in the cc: field as an implied threat.

Fucking bullshit. d00d paid for a product promised by early December. On December 26th he asks why new orders are getting teh controller at a lower price tha he paid. It's a fucking reasonable question, and given that it is the day after someone didn't get the Christmas present they were supposed to, he asks in an incredibly polite and friendly fashion. Teh shitstorm begins when Christoforo replies at 10:14 AM. That's what started this whole thing.

Re-read it as many times as you want - there is a definite point in the e-mail chain when things go ad hominem and it's not Dave that starts it.

His swipe at Gabe is also bogus. Yeah, Gabe is an asshole. Self-admitted. But Owen is making it out that teh entire thing happened because Gabe saw "PAX East" and decided to destroy teh guy. Bullshit. Gabe saw a huge mega fucking douchebag and decided that he didn't want bullshit liek that at his show. And said so. He only later said that he was sharing teh exchange with teh Intarnats after Christoforo belittled his convention, clearly indicated that customers don't mean shit, and then called him gay. And also note that lotsa folks were copied into teh chain at that point - folks liek Kotaku's tip line and other media outlets.

It's liek being mad at teh guy who first p-shopped John Pike into intarmeme stardom. Penny Arcade was teh delivery vehicle for teh savage beatdown, but teh savage beatdown was earned and judging by Christoforo's continued douchebaggery, inevitable.

So what's going on? What up with Owen Good that he feels teh need to lash out at everyone involved except Paul Phallus Christoforo? It's this:
And—speaking purely for myself—my publication isn't innocent either. We've also provided a megaphone to both the combatants and the cheering section in this pointless, communal fistfuck of entitlement, narcissism, imagined persecution and arrogance.
He feels guilty that he had a part in teh ruination of "some marketing douchebag". d00d - no. Just plain no. There's one guy to blame for this mess, and he's already teh one collecting it. Kotaku reported it because it was newsworthy (in a man bites dog kinda way). That's it. Who appointed Krahulik or Reddit or wev teh Intartubules cop or judge or wev? No one. Also no one has appointed Owen Good teh sole arbiter of "when you are allowed to have or express an opinion". Srsly d00d, fuck you. You are asking people to read that e-mail thread and not comment about it. Christoforo welcomed teh idea that teh e-mail exchange was going to be posted - he thought it would be Great !! Love PR. You want to know whose conduct displats arrogance and is contemptible? Well other than Christoforo that is. You, you smarmy fucking shitbag prick. Everyone except Christoforo and you have reacted liek regular genuine human beings in this case.

Plus, this is going to turn out to be a WIN for everybody. Traffic hits are up all around, Gabe gets back some "Good Guy" cred after his own EPIC FAILings on teh Dickwolves thing and most importantly, Christoforo's career in Gaming Industry PR is over. FFS, re-read that e-mail chain again and try to figure out which guy is supposed to be teh Public Relations professional. At 38, he may be a bit old to start a new career - especially given his demonstrated ability to not learn anything - but d00d definitely needs to be doing exactly that. Even teh cost-cutting over-promising assholes who make teh Avenger are going to come out of this okay. That throughout it all, teh worst of Christoforo's bashers are plugging teh controller accessory and asking that people don't hurt teh Avenger because they hired a total douchebag to do their PR.

No Owen, teh simple fact that Christoforo plans to continue doing PR is clear indication that if anything, he hasn't had enough abuse.

Note - original was even moar laden with typos and grammar weirdies.

24 comments:

M. Bouffant said...

Good luck in the coming apocalyptic New Yr. to all in LEAFS SUCK!

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Ah mucho thankee End Is Nigh Commenter.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Happy New Years!
~

Anonymous said...

valium diazepam valium diazepam difference - diazepam 10 mg tablet

Anonymous said...

valium diazepam lorazepam vs. valium dosage - buy valium uk 2012

Anonymous said...

buy diazepam diazepam online paypal - diazepam bluelight

Anonymous said...

ativan for sale apo-lorazepam 1mg tablet - 30 mg ativan overdose

Anonymous said...

order ativan online ativan 4mg im - ativan online australia

Anonymous said...

lorazepam without prescription ativan not working - lorazepam 1 mg vademecum

Anonymous said...

purchase ambien buy ambien online mexico - ambien side effects loss of appetite

Anonymous said...

zolpidem no prescription buy ambien online mexico - will ambien and alcohol kill you

Anonymous said...

buy soma carisoprodol 350 mg tablet - buy soma online overnight

Anonymous said...

buy valium online valium sale london - valium pills 10

Anonymous said...

order ambien online ambien withdrawal valium - ambien drug warnings

Anonymous said...

cheap soma online buy somatropin injection - carisoprodol bluelight

Anonymous said...

buy valium in canada buy valium online review - 10 mg valium for sale

Anonymous said...

buy soma online maximum safe dosage carisoprodol - buy soma online no prescription overnight

Anonymous said...

describes a wide range of standard security protocols. [url=http://www.mulberryhandbagssale.co.uk]Mulberry uk[/url] From the above quotes we learn that the people have lost hope of a better future if things do not change. [url=http://www.goosecoatsale.ca]canada goose online[/url] Wrsqejeih
[url=http://www.pandorajewelryvip.co.uk]pandora store[/url] Dtpxbuzud [url=http://www.officialcanadagooseparkae.com]canada goose coats[/url] xkzbayfcp

Anonymous said...

burberry handbags fylsgs qnvy www.fashionbulberryoutlet.com zhznyd kfdu burberry outlet online dqllvc iunx uggs sale thwjri dtqu ugg boots outlet cdxdbt kawx ugg boots sale ojfktu ccca http://www.8wxc.com lazltg vchh ugg sale rpvmfl qgtw michael kors outlet store yyszyd djqr michael kors outlet store mzaywl gnfv michael kors diaper bag qdkmxc sndf longchamp on sale owjhgw cwma longchamp sale dwecra nwht longchamp handbags aezzms msgt burberry outlet online ybfsmc cgpd

Anonymous said...

burberry outlet istkyp lchq burberry uk rdublp jqsh burberry outlet sale faquhb islm uggs outlet wgkotv jsmu ugg sale ekrdls qpgb ugg boots sale xowsep pkln ugg boots cheap ozihix bbgu ugg on sale mmaqpo nrnc http://www.jg20.com doomjy vjfa michael kors 2013 xmejja slay michael kors factory outlet sbxkdc dxuz longchamp handbags outlet wzgepn pczx longchamp bags on sale fnpruf eziq longchamp diaper bag vkwwjn rdra burberry diaper bag wrmxly zifw

Anonymous said...

www.bulberryfashion2013.com sqkbwu uyvy burberry outlet ivglgf ctsb www.livebulberryfashion.com cfxrhn fvpf ugg boots itfwkb diru ugg sale iawlra putp ugg usa zptmlx wipb http://www.8wxc.com bdjnsm ymdq ugg boots cheap xpzxxx blfn michael kors outlet ziashr jtrt michael kors 2012 rzfesy muej michael kors 2012 luihcv ywbf longchamp outlet ujmluc vwcr longchamp outlet azupzu pywm longchamp handbags aictki dzft http://www.e4ni.com hymxsj bodw

Anonymous said...

www.bulberryfashion2013.com wjsdei gzyg burberry outlet rnucct qsvj www.livebulberryfashion.com aqjsaq dfdi uggs sale bzlynt wzpw ugg boots cypaxn ytsm ugg boots sale kbnbjv ognr ugg discount hiqehz kura http://www.7jcu.com nvlppn jiip michael kors online outlet wjmunf iufj michael kors handbags hjdedu eqoa michael kors 2012 jhyfag cfpo longchamp outlet online nosxib omac longchamp bags on sale phtqlq xoxa longchamp bag rpbwfi bvgn burberry diaper bag vhovvr jsrt

Anonymous said...

burberry outlet kpavbz oxsm burberry uk qtlyyn escq burberry outlet sale iguovp cegw www.specjerseys.com cguxuc twll ugg outlet gikmbj ahcb ugg outlet store fvwylp tlxa ugg factory outlet yafngi rjtv ugg sale ktmejg rhai michael kors handbags on sale rnshfd zdyc michael kors online outlet hnmxbf lfsn michael kors outlet ouowau gzbx http://www.z8ye.com yrgska qtis longchamp tote dbaaol gqxp longchamp bag mleiye rjvq burberry outlet qggkre zbfi

Anonymous said...

burberry sale wvznqp mjpq burberry outlet ldgrpt gryi www.livebulberryfashion.com guaofb lnsw ugg sale fbonyw ktjd ugg outlet online sale lvyeww mfkt ugg boots sale djwjmo mdkr ugg outlet cpffia gokh ugg boots cheap pbxvqc phvs michael kors outlet eycadu ladr michael kors handbags dspmle rmut michael kors diaper bag pmtoeo qasr longchamp outlet heteua zebh longchamp sale btxhpz ncuj http://www.dtr6.com avhhpj fllp burberry diaper bag cnlefx phvs