Sunday Audition: Halloween is Not Christmas

The trees are turning colours signalling the end of October again, but that icy chill in the wind isn't just a sign of the coming winter months.  It is an icy cold harbinger of the downfall of modern civilization as we know it.  It is Halloween.

Halloween, the ideological opposite to Christmas.  A time when children around the world are praising Satan instead of Jesus.  Children are dressing themselves as demons and monsters and witches, revelling in the supernatural instead of looking forward to a visit from a jolly magical elf and his flying reindeer.

This widespread acceptance of evil creatures of darkness is manifesting itself even beyond the bounds of the most Satanic night of the year.  For example, World of Warcraft - a game played by over ten million people, allows the player to be a demon summoning Warlock or to join the ranks of the Undead.  The television series Buffy the Vampire Slayer started off with a plucky heroine fighting the forces of darkness, but as the series progressed she took into her close knit circle vampires, witches, werewolves and demons.  Judging them by their false actions and not by their evil natures as defined by the race they were born into.  Worse, the easy acceptance of manifest evil has lead to people actually being willing to vote for beastial monsters such as the one occupying the Oval Office.

And it is not mere symbolism that differentiates the holidays.  The one aspect of Halloween that everyone knows is the giving of candy to kids.  Bribing them to enjoy the holiday as opposed to Christmas where there are no bribes for children.  And candy is full of calories.  All that candy encourages the cardinal sin of Gluttony.  Christmas, as a good Christian tradition, shuns Gluttony in all forms.  And the costumes and disguises meant ot conceal the childrens identities.  Unlike Christmas where we spend time with our closest loved ones and never have any reason to conceal our feelings or emotions.

When presented with Darkness and Light, we must choose Light. But Darkness is so easy and so alluring. To create Light, one must Work and Strive and Produce - but Darkness only requires that we shut our eyes to the Truth. And so Darkness claims the weak. We call these weak ones Democrats.

And these weak and Lazy Democrats have the sheer audacity to Fight a War on Christmas. Declaring open hostilities against the Holiest Day of the Year. Oppressing and Lynching all Good Christians who merely wish other a "Merry Christmas" instead of "Seasons Greetings". Most likely in an effort to promote their Unholy Abomination of a holiday - Halloween.

And that is why we should put an end to Halloween.  For it is only the generous and forgiving Christians that have the ability to put a stop to this threat to the most important day of all.  Merry Christmas.

1 comment:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Merry Christmas.

Just call it "Canadian Christmas" so you can Octoberize another God-fearing American holiday.