Pr0n Objectivises Women

Last year Lara Croft returned in a different kind of puzzle-action game, Teh Guardian of Light. It was a big change for teh Tomb Raider series which had been doing pretty horribly at teh time. Fixed camera isometric multi-player - download only non-AAA title. Sort of an anti-Tomb Raider Tomb Raider game. And it was just what was needed - selling pretty well for a download only game, and racking up review scores that Lara hadn't seen in a decade. And now there's another game planned for teh series scheduled for next year. And it looks fucking amazing. Anyways, all of this to say that Lara Croft is going to survive being portrayed by Angelina Jolie in two movies to return to pop culture prominence. You know how I can tell? They're doing new pr0n parodies of it.

Why am I telling you this? Teh comments. They take a turn for teh amusing.

First comment is an Objectivist - oops sorry, Ethical Naturalist -with an Ayn Rand quote explaining why he lieks strong women. Ayn Rand. BwaaAHAHhAHHAHahahHAH.

Teh beat down is administered all round with a showing of teh Kung Fu Monkey quote most often attributed to Krugthulu (and is ongoing at teh time of blogging). But liek a good Objectivist, he smugs himself up on his high horse and sneers at all teh folks who are pointing out that his John Galt underoos are badly shitstained. It's stretching into a fair length post about how "objectivism" is objectively teh Awesome with a tangent on how bagging on Ayn Rand is all fine and dandy since she was so horribly bad, but calling her a slut is over teh line. Really, it's an amazing conversation.

In a thread about PORN.

You can tell which one is teh Objectivist at an orgy - they're teh one lecturing teh sweaty heaving bodies about how they lurve teh sex because they are so superior at it.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

"John Galt underoos"

Nice one.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Tomb Raider XXX is a woefully uninspired title. Couldn't they have chosen Womb Raider? Hell, even Boob Raider would have been better.

What the hell is wrong with the p0rn industry, when they can't even do parody titles right?

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Thankee Thundra.

re: teh unimaginative title

It's part of a series. Like Iron Man XXX from Extreme ComiXXX. It's fortunate that Vin Diesel isn't moar popular or there'd be an xXx XXX.

fish said...


Substance McGravitas said...

I personally ascribe to her beliefs as an Objectivist.


Smut Clyde said...

Ethical Naturalist

The moral smugness is what I hate about nudists.