2009-10-19

Not the one with Chris Rock

Substance McGravitas informs me that my namesake, Dragon King Wangchuck has been named the third hottest head of state by some goofball named J.D. Dobson.

Really J.D.?  Really?
Let me ask you this, what does it take to be number one?
Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers.
I. Am. Number. One.
Don't matter if you like
Here, sit down and write it.

Hell, number two ain't even a head of state - Jens Stoltenberg is a Prime Minister, Harald V is the King.  Oh wait, you guys have got something to say about that.
One of the worst things about the internet is the anonymity it provides a certain class of individuals to spew their hateful, offensive speech. Specifically: nerds.
Umm, hate to break this to you guys but you're blogging about the relative hot-ness of heads of state.  On the internet.  Nerds = you.  And before you put on your "I WIN" shirt, yes - I'm blogging about you blogging about Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck so I'm a nerd too.  But the difference is I'm not the one castigating nerds as "a certain class of people".  PROTIP, all your readers?  Reading about heads of state on the internerd?  Nerds.
Maybe you missed our FAQs where we sarcastically professed ignorance about this.
I appreciate that you're supposed to be some sort of humour site.  PROTIP #2, if you have to tell people you're being sarcastic - U R DOIN IT RONG.

Here's the thing, yeah I laughed a couple times reading your site - but it struck me as such a wasted opportunity.  Because your list is obviously glaringly factually wrong.  It's not funny in the "well there's a deep and penetrating insight phrased in a remarkably humourous fashion" but more along the lines of yelling "PENIS" for no obvious reason.

I mean, you obviously put some time and effort into this thing - you've got 192 172 (UPDATE: you'd think it would be easy to count them since they're numbered...) countries on your list, finding pictures for all of them probably took more effort than you're willing to admit.  You've already put in the "lot of work", and you decide to throw it all away with blatantly incorrect garbage.  You could spike your blog with comedic gems that sparkle with the mirth of drunken angels, but if those jokes are on a page claiming that Gordon Brown is the head of state for the UK, it's not gonna get the laughs.  PROTIP #3, no one is going to think you're particularly witty if it seems like you are unaware of the existence of THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND.

And anyways, Dragon King Wangchuck is fucking HAWT.  Dragon.  King.  Wangchuck. 
There ain't no topping that
'cept with a Dragon Crown Hat.
So lurn 2 play J.D. Dobbie
Put some thought into your hobby
And shut down that Tymoshenko lobby.
He is a Dragon, He is a Man, He's a Dragon-Man
Dragon.  King.  Wangchuck.  Accept no substitutions (except me of course)

4 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

So you started one of the blooger things, too?

Did Substance McGravy talk you into it?
~

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Are you trying to imply that I'm some sort of McGravitas fanboi? That I started blogging solely for the purpose of winning approval from Substance? That the only reason I didn't call it "House of Wangchuck" is because I've already sullied the Bhutanese Royal family enough?

Maybe.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Thank you, that about covers it...
~

Substance McGravitas said...

Have I mentioned that I am funded by George Soros?