Open Letter to Callista Newt Gingrich.

Dear Mrs. Newt Gingrich the third,

I understand that your current endeavours have hit a bit of a snag with personnel, but I am delighted to hear that your campaign will continue on. In fact, I am writing to you to offer my services as Campaign Manager Entire Staff Including Administrative Personnel. You can rest assured that I am the right Dragon-King for the jobs, as I understand that the goal of the campaign has nothing to do with merely winning the nomination and the Presidency. This campaign is about Winning the Future with American Solutions *wink wink*. Indeed, all of America knows how Newt behaves when he’s under the stress of an important job and it’s in our best interests the name of the sanctity of marriage that I’ll do my best to ensure that situation never arises. Look at my resumee – I have nevar been part of a winning campaign!

Call me and we can discuss some of the creative ways and ideas I have for official campaign mailers and the potential of doing market research and targetted advertising opinion polling with matching campaign funds.


Dragon-King Wangchuck


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I'll be happy to write a letter of recommendation.

Dear Whomever It May Concern,

Please accept DKW for whatever position he is applying for. He has demonstrated high character, and is certain to do well. Especially if the position involves your mom.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Dear Ms. Crazy Eyes:

Teh Dragon-King will totes bring teh mad skillz to UR cam-pain. He will also be sexxing down UR m0mz so she sha'n't be a distraction to UR griftlicious schemes and scams.

M. Bouffant said...

Are you stealing from somewhere? I could swear (& I do, a lot!) I've seen this before.

vacuumslayer said...

Dear Mrs. Gingrich,

DK-W just wants to do your mom. I know. I have been burned by this man. He offered to "run my campaign" too, but was giving my mom the Wangchuck the whole time. I was crushed. Literally. One time I fell asleep and they did it on top of me. Gross.


Substance McGravitas said...

ILLUSTRATIONS! Sexy illustrations.

fish said...

I find these mom jokes cheap and easy laughs.

Just like your mom.

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