Sunday Audition: I'm Begging You Here.

I can't quite do it this week. The stakes are just too high. I just found out back at the Mothership that my dream job is open - and while it's not working for his Regency, the Hiatt - it's even bettar.

The Atlantic is hiring. They are looking for someone with Friedman-esque rigor mortis. I can do that. SRSLY, I can take whatever basic assumption you want - totally not examine it for reasonableness or connection to reality - and then develop it like mad into an entire philosophy and/or pithy book mini-industry.

Anything you guys want. I can write for pages about how it's political columnists and journalists that are the true heroes, how there's no group more patriotic and American as The Press. How they have to work in such a treacherous milieu where no one is really trustworthy (I'll use truisms and saws like the one about politicians are lying when their mouths are moving and whatnot). About how it's the job of the journalist to being you the nuggets of truth that their "access" allows them. That the career is both dangerous and vitally important. I can embellish with stories about the Founding Fathers and their worship of the Free Press. It'd be a tour-de-force. And since I'd be an outsider, a blogger (Teh Enemy) no less - it wouldn't sound like guys with cushy jobs just stroking themselves off.

I can do the whole thing without even once considering whether or not what I'm writing is correct or not. And I can repeat that sucker with minor variation every six months or so. Friedman like rigor? I can totally do that.

I'm allupons about the idea. I'd even be willing to do it gratis. I just want the opportunity to write under the prestigious banner of The Atlantic, and incidentally for the opportunity to work in the same office as Megan McArdle. I am working up the most disgusting horking loogie imaginable just thinking about it.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

You speeled "Blegging" rong.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Hard to type whilst I'm scraping my throat for a vile goobery mass.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I can do that.

That's a lot of taxi rides, bro.

Golf games, too!

Substance McGravitas said...

Doughnut metaphor please, Mr. Canuck.