The Eye of the Barf Holder

Hey remember that awesome time I got baby puke in my ear? This time it was my eye. Now I can say I truly have lived a full life. Speaking of rock star like behaviour, she's probs not gonna be playing drums in her awesome megastar band.

Pike 2012

The story of teh GOP nom ination run is of teh boom and teh bust, with each succesive Tea Party favourite taking their turn at Mittster. And while Talking Pants Marshall is playing with yarn, the National Post brings much better graphics and analysis almost a week earlier. Anyways, we're left with the question of who is to take teh reins as Tea Party saviour after Newt flames out? I think teh answer is pretty obvious:

Surprise Police Raid on my Preconceptions

St James park has been cleared. It was a remarkably peaceful endeavour. Here's the summary:

Eleven people were arrested in all and most were released on site with trespassing tickets, rather than criminal charges.

It was surprising. I was shocked that our police force showed such restraint. That despite prepping a bunch of riot gear laden cops, they sent in only regular uniformed guys. The big extra piece of protective gear they had was raincoats. After last summer's G20 fiasco and the assorted abuses at other Occupy camps, it was a pleasant surprise. I mean, it's not like I expected a heavy-handed tear-gas rubber-bullet riot-like apocalypse, but what we ended up getting was way better than I had hoped it could be.

Then I read this:

Everyone's talking about how the police have been peaceful & no one is talking about how protestors are non-violent.

That's me. I was talking about how the police were surprisingly peaceful and had nothing to say about how well behaved the protestors were. And that's because I have lowered my expectations of reasonable behaviour from the police so far that I was shocked they didn't fuck everything up in a hail of police brutality. Because my expectations of the protestors - supposedly violent anarchists - was way higher.

Because this is the level to which my opinion of police has fallen. I am delighted that I was wrong about what I feared might happen in St James Park. I am very happy that I was mistaken about our law enforcement's lack of ability to learn. That despite my strong disagreement with what the police were doing - i.e. dismantling the Occupy Toronto encampment - I found myself, well not proud - but at least not ashamed of teh Toronto Police Services. Congratulations TPS, you managed to acheive the bare minimum I want from a police force - you did not make things worse.

Occupy Toronto

Twitter feed.

Stay safe, guys. It's probably not going to be G20-ish this morning, remember that teh worst of teh cop freakout was only because they got caught with their pants down on teh first day.

Why We Fight - War on Christmas Edition.

Apparently I am hard to shop for - and that's why I will have to wait five weeks before playing Skyward Sword.

Fuck You Santa!

World Toilet Day 2011

First, the obligatory sermonizing - this is from World Toilet Day Press Kit. The fraction of the world population without access to adequate sanitation is 40%. This is the combined population of all of North America and Europe, doubled. 2.6 billion people. Without toilets, these folks are stuck with "open defecation" which is exactly what it sounds like. This causes all sorts of illnesses and disease. Unsafe water, inadequate hygiene and insufficient hygiene are responsible for the deaths of two million children under the age of five every year.

WHO estimates that improved water, sanitation and hygiene could reduce the global disease burden by 9.1%. I admit that what got me first interested in World Toilet Day is that my highly developed style of humour is quite connected with toilets and POOP, but this is a serious actual thing. And it's more than just reducing disease - it's a serious quality of life issue. Even folks not at risk of dying from diarrhea stand to gain massively from better methods of dealing with their excreta.

Also too, this is one of those issues that should really speak to liberals and progressives. The most likely to be affected are the people with the fewest resources. The most at risk are children and women in patriarchal societies. The impact of reduced disease burden allows struggling communities in developing nations to dedicate more of their efforts to education or food production or a host of things that aren't lying down sick and dehydrated hoping not to die.

What can you do to help? Raising awareness is the first step. Without recognizing the issue, not much can be done. If you want to volunteer or make a donation, there's any number of organizations that are making efforts to address this issue.
-The folks behind World Toilet Day are here.
-Water Aid USA is another option.
-Here's UNICEF's list of partners in water and sanitation.

Okay. World Toilet Day is a serious, for real thing. Something that warrants serious, for real thinking. But despite all the seriousness, toilets are still funny, so here's my collection of amusing and interesting intarwebs POOP for World Toilet Day 2011:

Bill Gates gets World Toilet Day.

Sanitation for Occupy protests occupy this "reporter".

POOP War on Christmas.

Twenty five POOPS for FREEDOM!!!

Something for architects to think about.

Remember how SF wanted to name a waste treatment plant after W? Well, teh higher powers involved in toilet related issues decided to screw with his dad instead.

And of course, we are going to close out with a song.

UPDATE: Fixed a link

Debates Are Not His Strong Suit

They really aren't.

I can see how he was confused - there is no US Commerce Agency or US Education Agency. Those are Cabinet level departments. The one entity he isn't going to make gone - teh EPA - that one's an agency (also Cabinet level!). It's what the A stands for.

Also too, eliminating the Department of Commerce kinda bones over the Census Bureau (an agency!). Teh census is constitutionally mandated. Why does Rick Perry hate teh Constitution?

UPDATE! Apparently there's a movie poster!

Team Haislip Update

Just a quick update on ALISON WAS ROBBERED

Alison Haislip is leaving G4 - kinda sorta. G4 was owned by Comcast and the resulting mess from the massive humping telecoms means that G4 is now an NBC Universal channel. Alison wasn't really ROBBED so much as shunted away from the niche gamer channel and into more mainstream NBC stuff. Which is weird because her big appeal to the AOTS audience is her authentic gamer cred. Anyways, they had her on the NBC Idol clone in the first season. And now she's been moved to two "other projects." Don't know what that means, but I do hope we'll be seeing moar of teh wonderful Ms. Haislip.

UPDATE to teh Update: Sure Alison is a heckuva looker, and also mucho badass. But overshadowing all of that is teh fact that she is all class.

This Post Has 22 Sentences

TL,DR version: FUCK YOU MARK BOURRIE.

Local news from LEAFS SUCK, but first some context for teh non Canucks.

This Hour Has 22 Minutes used to feature Marg, Princess Warrior (played by the absolutely wonderful and hilarious Mary Walsh and starting some time in the late 90s when the character would have made sense). Marg does ambush interviews - and she is fantastic at it. Mary Walsh retired from the show back in 2004 - but a couple weeks ago she came back to reprise the role.

Anyways, after Mayor Ford retreated into his house, he called 911. Repeatedly. And colourfully as well. The Mayor of Toronto - ambushed by a woman pushing sixty wearing a ridiculous costume and a cameraman - and d00d calls 911 - at least twice.

Even if his defense that he never called any 911 dispatchers "bitches" is true, his actions are still pretty much made of FAIL.

Okay, with all that in mind, what I'd like to highlight is this post from the LEAFS SUCK affiliate of Gothamist.

Sweet IPU. Mark Bourrie, you are so full of fucking FAIL that you might have actually managed your actual goal of making Rob Ford not look so bad. There is so much wrong with post that I doubt I can smash it down with teh force it's earned - so I'm just going to focus on this one part:

So when the score is tallied, we have some downtown Toronto people enjoying seeing their mayor on the run in his own front yard.

OMFG. That sentence demonstrates exactly how dense teh FAIL is in that post.

Bourrie's "defense" of teh CBC includes a rant about how teh programming is designed to appeal to only a handful of snooty elites that live in downtown Toronto. Teh anti-CBC forces he's warning us about? That would be Bourrie.

Mary Walsh is from Newfoundland. The character of Marg Delahunty is from Newfoundland. The show is produced and taped in Halifax. Sure a lot of CBC stuff happens in downtown Toronto (mostly at the Glenn Gould Studio) but 22 Minutes takes up almost none of it.

And then there's teh fact that he is complaining about that at all - the catering to teh downtown Toronto hegemony. AT TEH FUCKING TORONTOIST WEBSITE. Teh folks who are doing shit in order to entertain people in downtown Toronto? That's supposed to be Bourrie. Who is incidentally a resident of Ottawa.

Plus also, ever since the Monorail thing and the KPMG Core Services Review, the neighbourhoods that are anti-Ford comprise moar than just downtown. Rob Ford's poll numbers have dropped like a stone since he failed to find the mythical gravy train he campaigned against. But that's kinda local information and it's unfair to expect everyone to know it. Certainly not A FUCKING WRITER FOR TEH TORONTOIST. Fuck.

I guess there's only one way to end this post. FUCK YOU MARK BOURRIE.

Through The Fire and Herman Cain

I was going to let this sit until next year, but that plan only works if Romney's campaign suddenly totally craps out. Plus I need paddle that post count something fierce if I'm to make 100 by year's end. Anywho,,,

On a cold autumn morning,
He’s teh Hero of teh Right!
Leading polls is Herman Cain,
Be president he just might.

When the darkness has fallen down,
And the times are tough alright,
The sound of evil laughter falls
Around the world tonight.

Fighting hard, fighting to cut funds
Ensuring wastelands evermore
The scattered souls will feel the Hell
Bodies wasted on the shore

On the blackest plains of Hell’s domain
He watches them as they go
For he is always Herman Cain, teh rest of you can blow.

So now we’re flying and free!
Of entitlements and welfare moms
They’re left out in the wilderness
While the rest of us carry on

Far beyond just tax cuts
Far beyond a means test
Deep inside the social contract TEEEERRRRMMMS!

So far away! We wait for that day,
When the hippies oh so wasted are all gone
Vote Herman Cain, for lifetimes lost in a thousand days
Vote Herman Cain and he will carry on.

[Guitar Solo]

As the (commie) Red day is Dawning (WOLVERINES!)
And the liberals raise up a cry,
They’ll raise their hands to the heavens above,
With resentment in their eyes.

Running hard the conservative right
Has a burning in their souls
To banish liberals to a fallen land
Perhaps to Mexico.

It’s their darkest dreams and they believe
It’s their destiny this time
And endlessly
They’ll all be free
Of LIBERALS!!!!

But their count of votes GOP
Is so far beyond reality
They’re alone in desperation
Now the time has gone

Lost inside, they’ll never find
Their way back to this real world
Day after day their misery must go on!

So far away, they wait for another day
2012 was so wasted and gone
On Herman Cain, election lost for a thousand days
But through Usurpers reign, they will carry on.

[Crazy ass guitar solo - RED SNAKE OF DOOM]

So far away, they wait for the day
Since 2012 was wasted and gone
On Herman Cain, election lost for a thousand days
To One L – twenty sixteen it shall belong.

Now there they stand, limp dicks in hand
They fapped so hard, we still can’t understand
They’ll break civil society if they possibly can
For teh Freedom of every man!

So far away, they wait for the day
Since 2012 was wasted and gone
On Herman Cain, election lost for a thousand days
To One L – twenty sixteen it shall belong.

Teh End of Teh "Teh" Era

So there's been another Pennis infection at teh Mothership.  I mention this because it has highlighted to me how offensively annoying it is for an outsider to stink up a joint by ignoring all teh basic rules of civil behaviour.  Each place has its own conventions and standards of acceptable behaviour, and while some things may not edge over into completely unacceptable offenses (okay, not talking about Pennis now) they can still be totes annoying to folks who have moar vested in teh joint.

And on that note, I will now be spellchecking before I comment at Crooked Timber.

OTOH, I kann spele as crappily as I wont heer.  Moar worserest then evar befoar.

Also too, Teh Teh: