l'idiot de l'escalier

A Solid Cockpunching

2012-02-08T22:16:00.001-05:00

UPDATE: For thundra, a graphical demonstration*.

I'm not a big fan of Karen Stintz. A card carrying member and supporter of teh Conservatives, she was Rob Ford's personal choice to head up the TTC. She's been a solid voice for the right-wing of LEAFS SUCK Council since she was elected.

But credit where due - about a month ago, she came out swinging for the original Transit City plan for the Eglinton Crosstown. The other Ford-ites on the TTC board blocked her. She then put together a coalition of other councillors and forced a special meeting today, capped off with a 28-15 vote to endorse the old surface route plan. She fought for rational transit, fought hard, and at the expense of cutting herself off from her political allies. Good work Stintz.

Here's teh background, and there's a lot of it. Transit City was a massive project with over 100 km of light rail across seven lines, mostly in dedicated at-grade right-of-ways. There were also some dedicated bus ROW's in the plan as well. This got cut in half after the provinical government decided how much cash was actually available for the project. Then they deferred half the money. And then David Miller who had championed the thing announced that he wasn't running for Mayor again. Then Adam Giambrone, who was the TTC chair at the time and Transit City's best spokesman in the 2010 mayoral election dropped from the race because of a sex scandal. And then Rob Ford was elected with a historically huge margin of victory, and he proclaimed Transit City dead.

Rob Ford's plan was to use the 8 billion in provincial funding to build one line, but bury it all. Because putting rails in the middle of our streets is part of Teh War on Teh Car. Or something. And he used his huge electoral win to bully the province into changing the plan yet again to ensure that cars would nevar be bothered by new rail. This is the 2011 Memorandum of Understanding plan that you'll see referenced if you're interested in this thing enough to read moar about it.

And then the inevitable fallout from electing a jackwad shitbag asshole fucktard pus-filled boil on teh backside of humanity started manifesting. Ford ran on a magical fairy tale - about rich fat cat swivel servants and boondoggle porkalicious bloated super waste in teh City budget which he would personally fix and teh taxpayers would suddenly get a pony. His slogan was Stop The Gravy Train. Turns out that there wasn't any gravy in the city budget. Unless you count stuff like public libraries. His "Core Services Review" was about as well received as a solid cockpunching.

So while Rob Ford had big victories early in his tenure, his influence has basically entered freefall. The first coup was when Council told him to stuff his waterfront plan (with a Monorail! yes teh inevitable Simpsons joke was bandied around a lot at teh time) and then council reversed a bunch of his budget cuts. That budget cut reversal vote was on January 17th, and was a squeaker at 23-21. Karen Stintz voted with Ford that day.

Anyways, Rob Ford's plan was obviously stupid. Here's a look at the various plans. The part of the Eglinton Crosstown that he wanted to bury is out east into Scarborough - my neighbourhood. Here Eglinton is seven lanes wide. There is space for a dedicated ROW. Also too, density is pretty low. A lot of it is strip malls and big box stores with big box parking lots. Getting the density to support a full subway would require a massive shit-ton of development. Not that it matters since Ford wasn't even actually proposing a subway. He was proposing the exact same LRVs as in the Transit City plan, just with all of the rail buried. Because cars.

But that's now a thing of the past. You see, LEAFS SUCK has a "weak mayor-strong council" system of governance. The mayor only gets one vote and he needs to build support amongst councillors for his proposals. There was in fact a legal ruling (solicited by Council) that the Mayor did not have the authority to unilaterally bind the city to the 2011 MOU. And Rob Ford is a stubborn ideologue who is actually physically incapable of compromise without becoming violently ill, so his ability to build consensus is directly tied to his ability to intimidate and bully. And now that the city has had the opportunity to see how useless and ignorant he is, he's a lot less intimidating.

Which brings us to tonight. Council got a taste of victory in the budget cut reversal. A lot of councillors are serving their first terms, but they now have some experience with the system. And Council exercised its power and basically told the mayor to go fuck himself. It is about fucking time.

*Bear cockpunch stoleded from this thread.

A Big Night for Santorum

2012-02-08T10:05:00.001-05:00

By Dragon-King Wangchuck

If Mitt Romney thought the road to the GOP nomination was going to be smooth and easy, last night has changed his mind. Surging to victory in all three state-wide contests, Rick Santorum has shown Romney that despite his well greased entry into the frontrunner position, a lot of vigorous work still lies ahead.

It started with Iowa. Santorum's campaign to penetrate deep into America's heartland suffered when Romney showed strong in the first contest. But in the end, it was Santorum that was left as the symbol of Iowa's GOP.

Santorum trickled in the next few contests, with just a small showing on the bottom of the candidates. This led many to believe that he had blown his wad in Iowa, but that's the point about Santorum. Everyone just seems to forget about him despite the fact that he's always there at the finish.

And last night was the reminder. Spreading outwards from that first Iowa victory, in a crack right down the middle of America, Santorum has shot out to the front of the pack. Bursting forth all over the three states Republican parties, Santorum seemed to be everwhere.

He surely hopes to capitalize on this momentum, perhaps by producing a flood of donations. Who knows, maybe this underdog can come from behind and ride the Santorum wave right to the convention. If Romney is having troubles with Santorum now, a long hot summer filled with Santorum is only going to stink up his dreams of the candidacy.

Edit: added byline and cleaned up some booboos

Your Economy's Kung-Fu is Not Strong

2012-02-08T08:14:00.000-05:00

disclaimer: I have a soft spot for Stabenow.

Anywho, teh Hoekstra ad. Hee hee. But teh really funneh part is teh doubling down where he claims that there is no racial tint at all to yellowgirl take your job.

I dunno if you've had teh chance to peruse debbiespenditnow.com, but it's no wonder he's standing by his racist ad. His entire campaign appears to be based on OOGA BOOGA TEH YELLOW MENACE!

No links because, woohoo - that's some racist shit right there.

Anyways let's run through teh checklist, shall we?
Soundtrack - gongs, taiko and quarter-tones from a chinese fiddle.
Rice paddies.
She's got a fucking straw hat on her back.
Broken Engrish.
We take your jobs.

I'm guessing that teh reason she bicycles up is that they couldn't bring themselves to pay a second asian actor to pull teh rickshaw.

It's bad enough that even Hot Air thinks teh ad comes off as racist. But teh comment threads and Hoekstra's official response is teh best part. That in teh face of such a blatantly offensive bit of racist China-baiting, they are standing around saying that there's nothing going on. Totally oblivious (or at least pretending to be). Like that's a big improvement over being straight-up racist simple and plain. Whole thing reminds me of a Simpsons episode.

Looking forward to teh point when Hoekstra finally concedes that teh ad is racist and tells teh world "me so solly!"

Live and Let Diaper

2012-02-02T16:38:00.000-05:00

TRIGGER Warning: Babby talk, plus teh proselytizing zeal of recent convert evangelism.

Teh data is still coming in, but I think I've collected enough to be positive that cloth diapers are super awesome muchly moar so than ebil planet-killing disposables. Sorry to all youse folks who didn't go cloth, I don't mean to say that you are monsters who are destroying teh world that you are passing on to your babbies, but facts are facts.

But seriously, almost everything out there regarding cloth vs disposable that isn't produced by teh diaper-industrial complex is all fair and balanced namby-pamby, there are advantages and drawbacks to each and no one is going to make me say which is bettar. Well fuck that noise. Cloth is better. Sure each and every individual babby is an unique and will have their own particulars, but cloth's advantages of so high that it don't make no nevermind. In every case except teh extremest outliers, cloth >> disposable.

Okay, here we go with teh breakdown:

Ultra Ninja's nine and a half months old. In this time, she has gone through over 3500 diapers. Mostly because she absolutely despises being in a wet diaper. The first month we used disposables, also some disposables on extended trips like teh week at teh cottage. Let's say 3000 disposables have been displaced by our Fuzzi Bunz in the UN's first 3/4 of a year - so 4000 diapers not thrown away in the first year. These would have been mostly Size 1 through 3 (since we couldn't replace the Newborn size with cloth), which if you use teh mega huge super-jumbo packs you can probably get for about $0.20 each. That works out to eight hundred dollars.

We got out Fuzzi Bunz at under $20 a piece. You can usually swing this if you're getting all of them at teh same time. Thirty is a good basis, but we got ten more than that. That works out to eight hundred dollars.

But wait. What about teh extra laundry costs? True - we're doing a load of laundry almost every day. Well first note that these diapers don't go into the dryer as it can cause extra wear on their waterproofing. Even if you have an old top loader machine, you're looking at about a third of a kWh of electricity, 40 or so gallons of water and about $0.30 in gas to heat the water. In LEAFS SUCK we have time-of-use electricity billing, but even at peak prices this is under 4 cents in power. Our water rate is $2.50 for 1000 gallons - or 5 cents in water. Price per load of detergent is about a dime (a load of diapers only need a quarter load of detergent). Even rounding up and adding a bit extra - this is like, two hundred bucks a year. For us, water usage (and therefore natural gas for heating the water) is halved by our fancy front loader and we typically run over night at a 40% discount to electricity rates - so even less.

So roughing it out, our payback period for the cloth diapers is going to be somewhere around twelve to sixteen months. Savings from that point on are just gravy on top of knowing that we've avoided the disposal of thousands of diapers.

Anyways, those are teh numbers with a babby who hates being wet and needs to be changed a lot, but even if you're changing a lot fewer diapers than we are, you are going to do better with cloth before you get to Pull-Ups.

Speaking of gravy - we heard horror stories from moar experienced parents of teh dreaded POOP geyser. This is when you get babby shit shooting out the top of the back of the diaper. Loverly. Something we discovered is that these newfangled cloth diapers and their fancy elastics and adjustable fitting bits and pieces means no POOP geysers. Even teh runniest, gassiest, POOPiest of excretions remains contained. We have had all of one incidence of POOP leakage, and it was with a disposable. Actually it was yesterday - and that's why I'm writing this post now instead of at teh end of year 1.

And in closing - some pictures. To demonstrate that hey lack of POOP geyseriness isn't related to a bland diet.

Plus one moar just because she is so adorbs.

For Whale Chowder's Mom

2012-01-17T20:45:00.001-05:00

Muchos thanxkees to WC for teh lyrical leavings. He really should start his own poetry blahg.

Whale Chowder's dad is a queer old lad
who loves getting fucked up his butt.
His rectum's been raided, pillaged, invaded.
He's teh bumfuckiest bottomest slut.
And all teh d00ds say that as a cheap lay
He's easily teh easiest score,
But he's veritable a saint, for he certainly ain't
As dirty as WC's mom teh whore.

She Smells Like Victory

2012-01-17T00:38:00.001-05:00

I love teh smell of your mom in teh morning.

Sky-waggle Sword

2012-01-17T00:38:00.000-05:00

Just an update in case anyone's wondering where I've been. in the world of Skyward Sword. New Game+ (unlocked after finishing the game normally) is called Hero Mode and I'm about a quarter way through. Here's my review:

TLDR version - 9/10. Zelda-riffic, but waggle haters can go blow themselves until teh next CoD:MW installment.

This isn't really meant to be a review, but rather a rebuttal to teh various complaints about teh game. There are some big flaws in teh game, but teh ones most folks whine about aren't them.

Firstly, teh waggle haters. Teh Wii is five years old. In that time, Nintendo mostly used teh motion controls for shovelware and party game compilations. The sort of stuff Kinect and Move owners are now seeing. There were a couple of attempts at making use of teh motion controls with core franchises - Super Mario Kart Wii, Super Mario Galaxy and sequel, Metroid Prime 3. Waggle haters please note that these are some of teh best games made in recent years.

Skyward Sword is even moar motion control focused. If you hate teh waggle, skip this game. It plays like an argument for why this console generation's first motion control is teh best. And it's a pretty persuasive argument.

It really does feel liek you're holding teh hilt of teh Master Sword and swinging that bugger around. There's lotsa complaints that it doesn't work - but I suspect that this is teh voice of hurt pride talking. Yes, this requires moar co-ordination than remembering where triangle and circle are located. Actually swinging teh remote is moar difficult than just pushing a button. But lotsa folks get by just fine, totes able to swing in all eight directions. Sure if you twist teh Wiimote before swinging it borks up your attack, but guess what? Feature not a bug. Swinging an actual sword with teh blade on an angle is gonna bork things up too. Plus, it's not supposed to be childishly simple, just pretty easy. Like your mom. A small exception - sometimes when you slash to vigorously, Link follows up with a thrust - probably due to centripetal force on teh controller or teh sensor reacting to teh sudden stop at teh end of your swing or wev. Just bear in mind that you don't need to flail teh Wiimote like you're chopping down a tree.

Teh controls work awesome. Flying teh loftwing, skydiving, swimming and teh beetle are excellently done. Basically, all teh various gadgets work great with teh motion controls. There are many points in teh game where different motion control bits are required. If you are unwilling to try something different, something other than dual analog sticks, well then wev. Enjoy your tiny little box of gaming experience. OMG! Console games aren't teh same unless played on cathode ray tubes!

Another common complaint - backtracking. Uh, d00ds - it's a Legend of Zelda game. That means backtracking. Also too SPOILERS, almost all of teh backtracking isn't really backtracking at all. Revisiting Faron Woods to do teh Spirit Trial in teh Spirit World is totes different. Teh next revisiting occurs after teh entire region is flooded and underwater. It may be teh same locale with teh same landmarks, but this is not backtracking. Running Eldin Volcano during teh eruption phase - not backtracking.

Teh Camera. 3D third-person action games always solicit complaints about teh camera. Here, there's no player control over teh camera except z-targetting and going into first-person look around mode. But really, that's all you need - a way of re-focusing teh camera quickly with a single button tap for time-sensitive situations and a way to leisurely take in teh surroundings and assess teh environment for clues. Moar control of teh camera would probs be less helpful in teh majority of circumstances.

Teh complaint that Fi sucks. Well, Fi does suck. She's no Midna, let me tell you. I got nothing here - considering teh dozens of hours you spend with her as a guide, it would have been nice to have a bettar companion. All I got is - at least she skates around real purdy,

So basically, teh misdirected gripes and complaints about Skyward Sword are about gameplay. That's messed up. Teh gameplay in Skyward Sword is amazing. Some new mechanics mixed into Legend of Zelda's already winning collection - well executed too. Pacing is a little slow at the beginning, but what with teh new control scheme, maybe warranted. Espscially considering all teh waggle haters who can't get past a Bokoblin's guard. Level design is sensational. Lanaryu and teh Timeshift stuff especially.

My problem with Skyward Sword is moar fundamental - teh storytelling. There's a huge fricking hole in teh overall narrative that sucks teh life out of it. Teh issue is that I have great difficulty caring about what happens. As is typical of teh genre, our hero has to rescue all of existence from teh Big Bad - but as you play through, there's a nagging feeling that develops about why you would bother. It's a good thing teh gameplay is so engaging because if you stop to think about it, you notice teh surface world isn't really worth saving. I mean, sure it's pretty and filled with exciting and complicated puzzles - but it's also almost totally devoid of characters which evoke any real sympathy whatsoever.

MOAR SPOILERS FOLLOW

Teh first region has teh Kikwis. There's five of them and you barely interact with any of them. All they do is hide. Later there are also teh underwater umbrella d00ds. There seem to be a number of these guys, but they are even less interesting than teh Kikwis. It's looked after by teh Water Dragon who is a condescending and annoying bitch.

Region 2 has Mogmas. These guys have a moar prominent role in teh game, comic relief. They are poorly sketched out and their only defining characteristic is that they are acquisitive greedy little bastards (if that can be considered a single characteristic). Teh guardian of this zone is teh Fire Dragon who is a loud and insensitive buffoon.

Region 3 has teh little robot d00ds who are genuinely interesting, unforteunately, they went extinct a thousand years previous to teh start of teh game (you interact with them through regions affected by Timeshift Stones which put you into teh distant past). IOW, they are already gone by teh time you can do buggerall about them. Teh Thunder Dragon (not Bhutan this time) is teh least offensive of teh regional guardians, but he's basically dying when you meet him. This entire zone, teh only one that might have been worth saving, is filled with folks who are already dead or well on their way.

There are also a few Gorons that are pleasant enough d00ds, and also archaeologists too! That's pretty cool - but is it enough to warrant teh wholesale slaughter of all those Bokoblins and Moblins? There are way moar enemies on teh surface than anything else. So wouldn't teh democratic thing be to let teh baddies take over? wev. I'm struggling through Hero Mode because teh game is genuinely a blast to play. With a marginally less annoying NPC population, this game would be perfect.

Viva Les Resolutions!

2012-01-01T11:11:00.000-05:00

It's yet another Doomsday Year. Also too, election season for teh USA. Gonna be fun times.

So I missed 100 posts. But in doing so, I lurned a bit about meself. I'm not a blogger. I'm a commenter. Generally, when I write, I assume teh reader already has a lot of teh context and background. This is great when it's a reply comment in a thread headed up with a well written post - but it makes for shoddy original posts.

What does this mean? Basically nothing. I kinda knew all along and really, this blog hasn't affected my cavorting around in S,N! threads. Teh reason I started blogging in teh first place was because occasionally I need to vent in a longer format then is appropriate for a thread comment. Also too, serves as a way to get teh voices in my head out. Meaning that teh disconnected and highly unpolished nature of my posting is feature not bug. Which kinda sucks for teh two or three folks looking forward to descriptions of how I boned their moms - but teh muse only comes when ~~you use teh up on teh downstroke technique~~ she does.

So, yet another rambling streamofconsciousness intro. And here's teh funneh part - having lurned a bit about myself in failing to hit a hundred posts, Imma see if I can lurn something new for next year. So without further ado,

Staircase Twit Resolutions 2011

1. A hundred posts.
2. Be AWESOME.
3. Finally get a blogroll up,,, well that one was easy.
4. Moar doggerel. Not necessarily about your mom.
5. Rationalize teh tag mess.

Happy Election Year guys.

Top Ten of 2011

2011-12-31T23:18:00.000-05:00

I did teh definitive Top Ten in 2009, but lest Auld acquaintance have forgotted, I'll do another one this time - but first,,,

Teh end of teh year - a time for ~~getting blind drunk~~ introspection. Let's take a look at my goals and see how I did:

1. 100 posts. Nope. Didn't even hit last year's mark.
2. AWESOME-ness. Check.
3. Photoshoppery. Check.
4. Your mom. Check.
5. Team Haislip. Check.

4 out of 5 - and teh only one I missed is teh only verifiable one. Not bad. And without further ado, TOP TEN REASONS WHY I DIDN'T HIT 100 POSTS THIS PAST YEAR

10. Post length. OMFG, I've gotten bloviating diarrhea. I gotta remember that "without further ado" thing and try and use it moar.
9. Your mom.
8. I'm lazy.
7. Too much farting around at CT.
6. Skyward Sword. Yes I only started playing this week, but I had this grand plan to crap out a couple dozen EPIC posts about every little thing in a flurry of Galtian überproductivity. You can blame teh stupid Temple of Earth (aka teh LAVA LEVEL) for Mankind's loss.
5. Your mom.
4. Teh dearth of Louise Burns YouTubes.
3. Uhhh, I forget teh third one.
2. Your mom.
1. PENIS. Totes heterosexually of course.

Owen Mediocre At Best

2011-12-30T23:38:00.004-05:00

Paul Christoforo. What a piece of work. Anyways, that's teh background information. Since then, we've learned that Paul Christoforo is genuinely sorry that he picked on someone above his weight class, which apparently is everybody.

Anywho, Owen Good at Kotaku has taken this opportunity to smother himself in outright FAIL. Let's just jump right into his ridiculous nonsensical premise - here it is:

Bullies never take the first swing. They look for a pretext that justifies one.

WTF? d00d, does this even mean anything? Does it mean anything to you? FFS, OMG, LOL. There, I just maed much moar sense than Owen Good did.

Bullies nevar take teh first swing? Owen is fuck-ed up. Bullies ALWAYS take teh first swing. Self-defemse isn't bullying. Oh wait, he clarifies - bullies look for some flimsy jusification for their first punch, liek "d00d looked at me wrnog", or "rumour has it that he's gay", or wev. Great, what teh world truly needs is moar validation for teh justifications of sociopathic assholes.

Christoforo took teh first swing. Dave prepaid for a product promised for early December. No one's getting an Avenger until January 15. People who didn't pre-order were getting discounts. It was fucked up. d00d had every right to be pissed off. Christoforo first lied to him about teh delivery date and then told him to put on his big boy hat and then threatened to arbitrarily cancel his order so that he could eBay teh product himself. Christoforo acted exactly as he's being portrayed, liek a world class douchebag.

Here is Owen's take on it (emphasis his):

Re-read the email thread, before the fireworks begin, before Christoforo lips off to Krahulik and then truly gets what's coming to him. Dave, full of customer-is-always-right dudgeon, is as much of an instigator in this as anyone. Paul is being offensively bureaucratic and his inability to use proper spelling or grammar, or to be bothered to correct such mistakes, certainly disrespects the reader.

The shitshow really only begins when Dave unloads a pedantic lecture on his consumer rights and Paul's responsibilities (with plenty of all-caps), appends some extraneous insults to let Paul know he looked him up on Facebook, and then puts our tips email (and evidently IGN's and Engadget's) in the cc: field as an implied threat.

Fucking bullshit. d00d paid for a product promised by early December. On December 26th he asks why new orders are getting teh controller at a lower price tha he paid. It's a fucking reasonable question, and given that it is the day after someone didn't get the Christmas present they were supposed to, he asks in an incredibly polite and friendly fashion. Teh shitstorm begins when Christoforo replies at 10:14 AM. That's what started this whole thing.

Re-read it as many times as you want - there is a definite point in the e-mail chain when things go ad hominem and it's not Dave that starts it.

His swipe at Gabe is also bogus. Yeah, Gabe is an asshole. Self-admitted. But Owen is making it out that teh entire thing happened because Gabe saw "PAX East" and decided to destroy teh guy. Bullshit. Gabe saw a huge mega fucking douchebag and decided that he didn't want bullshit liek that at his show. And said so. He only later said that he was sharing teh exchange with teh Intarnats after Christoforo belittled his convention, clearly indicated that customers don't mean shit, and then called him gay. And also note that lotsa folks were copied into teh chain at that point - folks liek Kotaku's tip line and other media outlets.

It's liek being mad at teh guy who first p-shopped John Pike into intarmeme stardom. Penny Arcade was teh delivery vehicle for teh savage beatdown, but teh savage beatdown was earned and judging by Christoforo's continued douchebaggery, inevitable.

So what's going on? What up with Owen Good that he feels teh need to lash out at everyone involved except Paul Phallus Christoforo? It's this:

And—speaking purely for myself—my publication isn't innocent either. We've also provided a megaphone to both the combatants and the cheering section in this pointless, communal fistfuck of entitlement, narcissism, imagined persecution and arrogance.

He feels guilty that he had a part in teh ruination of "some marketing douchebag". d00d - no. Just plain no. There's one guy to blame for this mess, and he's already teh one collecting it. Kotaku reported it because it was newsworthy (in a man bites dog kinda way). That's it. Who appointed Krahulik or Reddit or wev teh Intartubules cop or judge or wev? No one. Also no one has appointed Owen Good teh sole arbiter of "when you are allowed to have or express an opinion". Srsly d00d, fuck you. You are asking people to read that e-mail thread and not comment about it. Christoforo welcomed teh idea that teh e-mail exchange was going to be posted - he thought it would be Great !! Love PR. You want to know whose conduct displats arrogance and is contemptible? Well other than Christoforo that is. You, you smarmy fucking shitbag prick. Everyone except Christoforo and you have reacted liek regular genuine human beings in this case.

Plus, this is going to turn out to be a WIN for everybody. Traffic hits are up all around, Gabe gets back some "Good Guy" cred after his own EPIC FAILings on teh Dickwolves thing and most importantly, Christoforo's career in Gaming Industry PR is over. FFS, re-read that e-mail chain again and try to figure out which guy is supposed to be teh Public Relations professional. At 38, he may be a bit old to start a new career - especially given his demonstrated ability to not learn anything - but d00d definitely needs to be doing exactly that. Even teh cost-cutting over-promising assholes who make teh Avenger are going to come out of this okay. That throughout it all, teh worst of Christoforo's bashers are plugging teh controller accessory and asking that people don't hurt teh Avenger because they hired a total douchebag to do their PR.

No Owen, teh simple fact that Christoforo plans to continue doing PR is clear indication that if anything, he hasn't had enough abuse.

Note - original was even moar laden with typos and grammar weirdies.

BREAKING!!!! SECOND AMENDMENT UNDER ASSAULT! UPDATED!!!

2011-12-24T18:21:00.001-05:00

For XBox Marketplace avatars anyways.

Wait. What does this have to do with teh Kenyan Usurper? Well, guess who doesn't have an XBox? d00d has that inscrutable oriental console with a name what sounds liek a slang term for PENIS. That's right, not only does teh foreign usurper favour foreign game consoles to USA #1 consoles - he's now taking away all teh guns! What's next? Rounding up all teh dissenting XBox Marketplace avatars and locking them up in concentration camps? Maybe PS Home?! OMFG!

BREAKING UPDATE! MUST CREDIT FOR SECOND PLAYER!! PRESIDENT OBAMA CAUGHT OUT IN A LIE! BREAKING!!!

In the video he clearly admonishes teh press corpse that they will never ever get a photo of him playing any dance video game. Clearly an outright lie as can be seen below:

Additional notes:
1. WTF d00d! Nice job ruining Christmas for your own daughters. I can just hear Malia saying "OMG, I never would have guessed you got us Just Dance 3 if I hadn't seen it on teh evening news!"
2. LOL! Always gets an F rating. I can out dance teh preznit! At least in teh video games. That hasn't been troo since Franklin Polio Roosevelt.
3. Teh reason he didn't get Skyward Sword - OMG it's right there in teh middle of teh freaking display! - is that he's probably already finished it. Whereas I will have to wait until at least tomorrow.

Merry Rick-mas

2011-12-22T20:18:00.001-05:00

TRIGGER WARNING: Four Rick Astley vids follow - none of which are gonna give you up.

OMG. Teh POWAH of teh intart00bs has prevented d00d from aging.

New singles last year! OMG! Intartubules, why did you not tell me of this?!

AND

And WTF?! d00d's a drummer too!

Why We Fight: War On Christmas Edition - Musical interlude

2011-12-17T13:05:00.001-05:00

Christmas music is old. Old old old old old. They call it "traditional". Hrmph. Even teh new stuff, all gets released so close to Christmas, that teh best a blogger can do is embed last year's stuff. Anyways, here are some traditional and classic oldies.

Pr0n Objectivises Women

2011-12-13T23:12:00.001-05:00

Last year Lara Croft returned in a different kind of puzzle-action game, Teh Guardian of Light. It was a big change for teh Tomb Raider series which had been doing pretty horribly at teh time. Fixed camera isometric multi-player - download only non-AAA title. Sort of an anti-Tomb Raider Tomb Raider game. And it was just what was needed - selling pretty well for a download only game, and racking up review scores that Lara hadn't seen in a decade. And now there's another game planned for teh series scheduled for next year. And it looks fucking amazing. Anyways, all of this to say that Lara Croft is going to survive being portrayed by Angelina Jolie in two movies to return to pop culture prominence. You know how I can tell? They're doing new pr0n parodies of it.

Why am I telling you this? Teh comments. They take a turn for teh amusing.

First comment is an Objectivist - oops sorry, Ethical Naturalist -with an Ayn Rand quote explaining why he lieks strong women. Ayn Rand. BwaaAHAHhAHHAHahahHAH.

Teh beat down is administered all round with a showing of teh Kung Fu Monkey quote most often attributed to Krugthulu (and is ongoing at teh time of blogging). But liek a good Objectivist, he smugs himself up on his high horse and sneers at all teh folks who are pointing out that his John Galt underoos are badly shitstained. It's stretching into a fair length post about how "objectivism" is objectively teh Awesome with a tangent on how bagging on Ayn Rand is all fine and dandy since she was so horribly bad, but calling her a slut is over teh line. Really, it's an amazing conversation.

In a thread about PORN.

You can tell which one is teh Objectivist at an orgy - they're teh one lecturing teh sweaty heaving bodies about how they lurve teh sex because they are so superior at it.

Teh Apple of My Pie

2011-12-11T00:16:00.001-05:00

I just noticed that yesterday's Opo salad was teh second time I food blogged. And teh first time, I said something about in-progress photos. Ooops. To remedy, a photo essay (with mouseovers):

And now for teh classic cooking show sleight of hand! These are actually strawberry-rhubarbs that I made a month ago to test teh technique.

Opo Research

2011-12-09T22:39:00.000-05:00

So here's teh story - Opo or Indian Long Squash is massively on sale at teh supermarket. Not quite daikon radish cheap, but pretty darned cheap. I've never prepared it before but I had to give it a shot.

Opo is a very, very bland vegetable. No flavour to it at all. But it has great texture - very similar to zucchini or summer squash. Traditionally, this vegetable is used in curries, probs because it does have so little flavour of its own and would make a fantastic vehicle for sauce. I didn't want to do this because I was afraid that cooking it at all would make it all mushy and ruin teh only characteristic it actually has. So salad.

Teh other part is that we're introducing Ultra Ninja to new foods and it goes over better if we eat the same thing that she does. The latest food is cooked barley. Pearl barley is quite similar to brown rice, and sticking to the Indian theme as set by the long squash, dinner was butter chicken.

As I mentioned at teh Mothership, went with a sweetened rice wine vinagrette with a hit of Tabasco to dress the salad which was long squash, carrots and red onion. Tasted not bad, and looked awful pretty too. Something was missing, and I am ashamed to admit that I think what was missing was cilantro. Which I hate. Ugh.

Anyways, this is what it looked like:

Teh blob at teh top of my plate is hot mango chutney. Here's a close-up of the salad:

Verdict? Success, but room for improvement. Barley goes incredibly well with indian food. It's certainly not the same as basmati, but it does make a great base. The slight elastic chewiness of barley (relative to white rice) is very nice with flavourful sauces. Don't know if I can say I prefer barley to basmati for indian food at this point, but it's nice to have an alternative. The salad went incredibly well with the butter chicken too. Although it (and I can't believe I'm saying this) would have been improved with cilantro.

Lessons learned other than teh cilantro thing: You want to slightly overcook the barley so it's a little drier and more sauce hungry. There's an ideal thickness for Opo in salads like this. You want it thick enough so that it holds it's texture, but no thicker than that. Since it was my first run at it, I actually made a range of different thickness slices. 3 mm to 5 mm (1/8 to 1/4 inch for those more comfotable with archaic units) is the sweet spot. A yogurt dressing would have tasted great, but would also interfere with teh pretty colours in teh salad. Finally, if you're going to ask for advice about dinner prep, do it early enough that you can get in some marinating or a quick run to the market.

A Break From Fighting: War On Christmas Edition

2011-12-09T17:49:00.000-05:00

In defense of Christmas, @ISAIAHMUSTAFA can do no wrong.

Que Sera Siri

2011-12-09T04:55:00.000-05:00

Siri, why you gotta play us like that?

Siri, why am I so late getting to this story which was basically played out a week ago?

Mostly because it's gotten teh right and proper smackdowning it warrants. Even if it is totes unintentional, that is still some creepy-ass misogynistic bullshit*, and it's good that it got highlighted as much as it did.

Anywho, I'm going back to it for another reason. To point and laugh at all teh smug Apple fanbois with their shiny new toys. LOL. Srsly, this Siri thing has taken the wind out of a bunch of idiots and jackasses - and I applaud that. Not to say all Apple dorks are shitbags but - I was going to say something about collateral damage or something. You know what? It's not damage. If an otherwise decent person now no longer believes in his inherent superiority because of his consumer electronics choices, that's a good thing. Without a doubt, the hit to their fanboi-ism is not a minus. Speaking of, it's always teh betrayed that have teh most passionate responses and it's voyeuristically titillating to see teh damage.

Yeppers. Teh thing I'm glad about is that no one from teh Apple Army of Assholes even tried to claim that this was intentional on Apple's part - a component of their plan to raise awareness and prompt discussion about teh raw deal that women get with respect to sexual health, and heck - health care in general.

*Teh screenshots say it all.

Why We Fight: War on Christmas Edition Part Deux

2011-12-06T23:04:00.000-05:00

Firstly, I was totes not being counted in. Here is further photographic evidence of my child's ~~above average IQ~~ lack of drumming skillz.

Anyways, Ultra Ninja's first War on Christmas is playing out classically. See, teh troo meaning of X-mas isn't teh crass consumerism and teh comforts you get from material things. Here she is, finding no joy in her mountain of toys:

No, teh troo meaning of X-mas is being in constant agony and suffering and sharing the exquisite pain with your fambly. She's teething. Again. The middle two on teh bottom broke through a month ago and were separated by just a few days. Good times. They're now both fully out as you can see in this perfectly focused and crystal clear image:

Her third tooth broke through a couple days ago, and according to her pattern, it's matched partner is just at the surface right now. Looks like she'll be getting her two front teef for Christmas - and bugger-all else* unless she lets her parents have a minute or two of sleep.

*Just kidding. She's actually getting a pony - free-range, grass-fed and ready for the grill.

Cain Quit You

2011-12-03T22:20:00.000-05:00

Well I'm glad I didn't wait on Herman Li Cain. With teh way teh Tea Party caucus is blowing through potential candidates, you gotta snark while teh hucksters hot.

Well, since his campaign's run outta Steam, let's send him off right.

Nine-nine-nine, nine-nine-nine, kiss Herman Good-bye.

You'll never vote Cain, he's suspended his campaign
And he's not running baby, no more - that's what I'm sayin'
He's groped too many ladies,
And a (And a) thirteen year affair's just too shady

So go on and kiss him, Good bye.
Nine-nine-nine, nine-nine-nine, kiss Herman Good-bye.

Listen to me now

He says it's all untrue, all those harrasment issues
Despite dozens of women who all say he tried
To get in their pants baby, because he was their boss

So kiss Cain (kiss Cain) Good bye.

Nine-nine-nine, nine-nine-nine, kiss Herman Good-bye.
Nine-nine-nine, nine-nine-nine, kiss Herman Good-bye.
Nine-nine-nine, nine-nine-nine, kiss Herman Good-bye.

The Eye of the Barf Holder

2011-11-28T21:16:00.000-05:00

Hey remember that awesome time I got baby puke in my ear? This time it was my eye. Now I can say I truly have lived a full life. Speaking of rock star like behaviour, she's probs not gonna be playing drums in her awesome megastar band.

Pike 2012

2011-11-26T10:25:00.000-05:00

The story of teh GOP nom ination run is of teh boom and teh bust, with each succesive Tea Party favourite taking their turn at Mittster. And while Talking Pants Marshall is playing with yarn, the National Post brings much better graphics and analysis almost a week earlier. Anyways, we're left with the question of who is to take teh reins as Tea Party saviour after Newt flames out? I think teh answer is pretty obvious:

Surprise Police Raid on my Preconceptions

2011-11-24T21:39:00.000-05:00

St James park has been cleared. It was a remarkably peaceful endeavour. Here's the summary:

Eleven people were arrested in all and most were released on site with trespassing tickets, rather than criminal charges.

It was surprising. I was shocked that our police force showed such restraint. That despite prepping a bunch of riot gear laden cops, they sent in only regular uniformed guys. The big extra piece of protective gear they had was raincoats. After last summer's G20 fiasco and the assorted abuses at other Occupy camps, it was a pleasant surprise. I mean, it's not like I expected a heavy-handed tear-gas rubber-bullet riot-like apocalypse, but what we ended up getting was way better than I had hoped it could be.

Then I read this:

Everyone's talking about how the police have been peaceful & no one is talking about how protestors are non-violent.

That's me. I was talking about how the police were surprisingly peaceful and had nothing to say about how well behaved the protestors were. And that's because I have lowered my expectations of reasonable behaviour from the police so far that I was shocked they didn't fuck everything up in a hail of police brutality. Because my expectations of the protestors - supposedly violent anarchists - was way higher.

Because this is the level to which my opinion of police has fallen. I am delighted that I was wrong about what I feared might happen in St James Park. I am very happy that I was mistaken about our law enforcement's lack of ability to learn. That despite my strong disagreement with what the police were doing - i.e. dismantling the Occupy Toronto encampment - I found myself, well not proud - but at least not ashamed of teh Toronto Police Services. Congratulations TPS, you managed to acheive the bare minimum I want from a police force - you did not make things worse.

Occupy Toronto

2011-11-23T05:30:00.000-05:00

Twitter feed.

Stay safe, guys. It's probably not going to be G20-ish this morning, remember that teh worst of teh cop freakout was only because they got caught with their pants down on teh first day.

Why We Fight - War on Christmas Edition.

2011-11-21T10:43:00.001-05:00

Apparently I am hard to shop for - and that's why I will have to wait five weeks before playing Skyward Sword.

Fuck You Santa!

World Toilet Day 2011

2011-11-19T00:01:00.002-05:00

First, the obligatory sermonizing - this is from World Toilet Day Press Kit. The fraction of the world population without access to adequate sanitation is 40%. This is the combined population of all of North America and Europe, doubled. 2.6 billion people. Without toilets, these folks are stuck with "open defecation" which is exactly what it sounds like. This causes all sorts of illnesses and disease. Unsafe water, inadequate hygiene and insufficient hygiene are responsible for the deaths of two million children under the age of five every year.

WHO estimates that improved water, sanitation and hygiene could reduce the global disease burden by 9.1%. I admit that what got me first interested in World Toilet Day is that my highly developed style of humour is quite connected with toilets and POOP, but this is a serious actual thing. And it's more than just reducing disease - it's a serious quality of life issue. Even folks not at risk of dying from diarrhea stand to gain massively from better methods of dealing with their excreta.

Also too, this is one of those issues that should really speak to liberals and progressives. The most likely to be affected are the people with the fewest resources. The most at risk are children and women in patriarchal societies. The impact of reduced disease burden allows struggling communities in developing nations to dedicate more of their efforts to education or food production or a host of things that aren't lying down sick and dehydrated hoping not to die.

What can you do to help? Raising awareness is the first step. Without recognizing the issue, not much can be done. If you want to volunteer or make a donation, there's any number of organizations that are making efforts to address this issue.
-The folks behind World Toilet Day are here.
-Water Aid USA is another option.
-Here's UNICEF's list of partners in water and sanitation.

Okay. World Toilet Day is a serious, for real thing. Something that warrants serious, for real thinking. But despite all the seriousness, toilets are still funny, so here's my collection of amusing and interesting intarwebs POOP for World Toilet Day 2011:

Bill Gates gets World Toilet Day.

Sanitation for Occupy protests occupy this "reporter".

POOP War on Christmas.

Twenty five POOPS for FREEDOM!!!

Something for architects to think about.

Remember how SF wanted to name a waste treatment plant after W? Well, teh higher powers involved in toilet related issues decided to screw with his dad instead.

And of course, we are going to close out with a song.

UPDATE: Fixed a link

Debates Are Not His Strong Suit

2011-11-10T00:36:00.001-05:00

They really aren't.

I can see how he was confused - there is no US Commerce Agency or US Education Agency. Those are Cabinet level departments. The one entity he isn't going to make gone - teh EPA - that one's an agency (also Cabinet level!). It's what the A stands for.

Also too, eliminating the Department of Commerce kinda bones over the Census Bureau (an agency!). Teh census is constitutionally mandated. Why does Rick Perry hate teh Constitution?

UPDATE! Apparently there's a movie poster!

Team Haislip Update

2011-11-08T22:54:00.001-05:00

Just a quick update on ALISON WAS ROBBERED

Alison Haislip is leaving G4 - kinda sorta. G4 was owned by Comcast and the resulting mess from the massive humping telecoms means that G4 is now an NBC Universal channel. Alison wasn't really ROBBED so much as shunted away from the niche gamer channel and into more mainstream NBC stuff. Which is weird because her big appeal to the AOTS audience is her authentic gamer cred. Anyways, they had her on the NBC Idol clone in the first season. And now she's been moved to two "other projects." Don't know what that means, but I do hope we'll be seeing moar of teh wonderful Ms. Haislip.

UPDATE to teh Update: Sure Alison is a heckuva looker, and also mucho badass. But overshadowing all of that is teh fact that she is all class.

This Post Has 22 Sentences

2011-11-05T01:19:00.000-04:00

TL,DR version: FUCK YOU MARK BOURRIE.

Local news from LEAFS SUCK, but first some context for teh non Canucks.

This Hour Has 22 Minutes used to feature Marg, Princess Warrior (played by the absolutely wonderful and hilarious Mary Walsh and starting some time in the late 90s when the character would have made sense). Marg does ambush interviews - and she is fantastic at it. Mary Walsh retired from the show back in 2004 - but a couple weeks ago she came back to reprise the role.

Anyways, after Mayor Ford retreated into his house, he called 911. Repeatedly. And colourfully as well. The Mayor of Toronto - ambushed by a woman pushing sixty wearing a ridiculous costume and a cameraman - and d00d calls 911 - at least twice.

Even if his defense that he never called any 911 dispatchers "bitches" is true, his actions are still pretty much made of FAIL.

Okay, with all that in mind, what I'd like to highlight is this post from the LEAFS SUCK affiliate of Gothamist.

Sweet IPU. Mark Bourrie, you are so full of fucking FAIL that you might have actually managed your actual goal of making Rob Ford not look so bad. There is so much wrong with post that I doubt I can smash it down with teh force it's earned - so I'm just going to focus on this one part:

So when the score is tallied, we have some downtown Toronto people enjoying seeing their mayor on the run in his own front yard.

OMFG. That sentence demonstrates exactly how dense teh FAIL is in that post.

Bourrie's "defense" of teh CBC includes a rant about how teh programming is designed to appeal to only a handful of snooty elites that live in downtown Toronto. Teh anti-CBC forces he's warning us about? That would be Bourrie.

Mary Walsh is from Newfoundland. The character of Marg Delahunty is from Newfoundland. The show is produced and taped in Halifax. Sure a lot of CBC stuff happens in downtown Toronto (mostly at the Glenn Gould Studio) but 22 Minutes takes up almost none of it.

And then there's teh fact that he is complaining about that at all - the catering to teh downtown Toronto hegemony. AT TEH FUCKING TORONTOIST WEBSITE. Teh folks who are doing shit in order to entertain people in downtown Toronto? That's supposed to be Bourrie. Who is incidentally a resident of Ottawa.

Plus also, ever since the Monorail thing and the KPMG Core Services Review, the neighbourhoods that are anti-Ford comprise moar than just downtown. Rob Ford's poll numbers have dropped like a stone since he failed to find the mythical gravy train he campaigned against. But that's kinda local information and it's unfair to expect everyone to know it. Certainly not A FUCKING WRITER FOR TEH TORONTOIST. Fuck.

I guess there's only one way to end this post. FUCK YOU MARK BOURRIE.

Through The Fire and Herman Cain

2011-11-03T20:11:00.000-04:00

I was going to let this sit until next year, but that plan only works if Romney's campaign suddenly totally craps out. Plus I need paddle that post count something fierce if I'm to make 100 by year's end. Anywho,,,

On a cold autumn morning,
He’s teh Hero of teh Right!
Leading polls is Herman Cain,
Be president he just might.

When the darkness has fallen down,
And the times are tough alright,
The sound of evil laughter falls
Around the world tonight.

Fighting hard, fighting to cut funds
Ensuring wastelands evermore
The scattered souls will feel the Hell
Bodies wasted on the shore

On the blackest plains of Hell’s domain
He watches them as they go
For he is always Herman Cain, teh rest of you can blow.

So now we’re flying and free!
Of entitlements and welfare moms
They’re left out in the wilderness
While the rest of us carry on

Far beyond just tax cuts
Far beyond a means test
Deep inside the social contract TEEEERRRRMMMS!

So far away! We wait for that day,
When the hippies oh so wasted are all gone
Vote Herman Cain, for lifetimes lost in a thousand days
Vote Herman Cain and he will carry on.

[Guitar Solo]

As the (commie) Red day is Dawning (WOLVERINES!)
And the liberals raise up a cry,
They’ll raise their hands to the heavens above,
With resentment in their eyes.

Running hard the conservative right
Has a burning in their souls
To banish liberals to a fallen land
Perhaps to Mexico.

It’s their darkest dreams and they believe
It’s their destiny this time
And endlessly
They’ll all be free
Of LIBERALS!!!!

But their count of votes GOP
Is so far beyond reality
They’re alone in desperation
Now the time has gone

Lost inside, they’ll never find
Their way back to this real world
Day after day their misery must go on!

So far away, they wait for another day
2012 was so wasted and gone
On Herman Cain, election lost for a thousand days
But through Usurpers reign, they will carry on.

[Crazy ass guitar solo - RED SNAKE OF DOOM]

So far away, they wait for the day
Since 2012 was wasted and gone
On Herman Cain, election lost for a thousand days
To One L – twenty sixteen it shall belong.

Now there they stand, limp dicks in hand
They fapped so hard, we still can’t understand
They’ll break civil society if they possibly can
For teh Freedom of every man!

So far away, they wait for the day
Since 2012 was wasted and gone
On Herman Cain, election lost for a thousand days
To One L – twenty sixteen it shall belong.

Teh End of Teh "Teh" Era

2011-11-02T23:03:00.001-04:00

So there's been another Pennis infection at teh Mothership. I mention this because it has highlighted to me how offensively annoying it is for an outsider to stink up a joint by ignoring all teh basic rules of civil behaviour. Each place has its own conventions and standards of acceptable behaviour, and while some things may not edge over into completely unacceptable offenses (okay, not talking about Pennis now) they can still be totes annoying to folks who have moar vested in teh joint.

And on that note, I will now be spellchecking before I comment at Crooked Timber.

OTOH, I kann spele as crappily as I wont heer. Moar worserest then evar befoar.

Also too, Teh Teh:

Ultra Hallowe'en

2011-10-31T21:17:00.000-04:00

One of teh awesome things about babbies is Hallowe'en. I picked out Ultra Ninja's costume before listening to teh story again. I just remembered teh strong female lead using her cunning to overcome her enemy and *SPOILER* learn that she didn't need no boy to make her life complete *END SPOILER*. Anyways, I didn't realize that it was such an ecological nightmare! If I could go back and pick out a different costume - one that wasn't so violently adverse to Mother Earth - I would not have changed a thing. The story for those of you who don't know it.

Anyways, here she is between her dragon and Prince Ronald:

Occupy Nazi Hashtags

2011-10-18T10:05:00.001-04:00

Late to teh party, but wanted to get my two cents in on Hashtag Hitler-gate.

1. It's a hashtag. But let's give teh guy teh benefit of teh doubt and try and address his post-hoc editted correction argument. That orange hashtags will be creeping everyone out due to their imagined connections to "totalitarian tendencies". Perhaps teh PJmedia-idiot is right - I mean gauging teh opinions and views of teh general public isn't always easy. How else can we explain teh popularity of Creed or Justin Bieber? What we do know is how favourable a view teh public has of OWS at teh beginning of teh month. Because there was polling.

At 54% favourability, it currently outpolls teh Tea Party 2:1. In fact teh Tea Party has never polled higher than mid 40's in terms of favurability, so teh general public already connects better with OWS than they ever have with teh Taxed Enough Already movement. Sort of an important point when discussing teh public's view of teh movements.

2. But teh thing is that no one knows. Despite teh apparently unshakable belief displayed by teh moran that OWS is doomed to being despised by all Americans everywhere. Maybe as moar polling data becomes available and OWS' popularity trends down she might be able to come back to this post and say that she "told us so." But that data isn't in yet. Incidentally, I kinda think that any effect teh orange hashtag has on OWS favourablity polling is microscopically miniscule at best, but that leads us into,,,

3. Moar importantly - and I think this is part of teh original point - it's not about teh orange hashtag. It's about teh OWS movement having "totalitarian tendencies". That it's really a giant fascist autocratic movement with a cult-like reverence of some charismatic Dear Leader Fuhrer-figure. Uh, minus that cultish leader thing. And teh autocratic fascism. But otherwise - exactly that.

wev. Hashtags or not, this is about teh nature of teh OWS movement. If OWS really is just a patchouli reeking version of Heaven's Gate looking for teh low-Gini-coeffecient spaceship behind teh comet of record high corporate profits or whatnot, polling will bear it out.

4. As a kind and generous Dragon-King, I want to look at common ground. I am totally against totalitarianism. Don't liek it one bit. Not a fan of fascism. I relate bettar to anarchists than authoritarians. Teh entrenched establishment can eat me. &c. Just teh same as they profess "on teh other side."

So we're on teh same page on opposing blind loyalty. That despite what we're told to believe - we need to use our own judgement to decide. I mean, who are you gonna believe - edicts from above or your own lying eyes? I believe teh phrase is WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

And here we have OWS. Made up of people. And while teh righties may disagree with some of them, dislike some of them, and outright despise some of them with 53% of their shrivelled hearts and missing souls. And on teh other hand we have Wall Street and teh Financial Industry. Who after leading teh entire world into a massive financial crisis that we still haven't seen teh bottom of, is in teh middle of reaping near-record profits.

I dunno how you define "being against totalitarianism", but siding with Goldman or Citibank certainly doesn't fit my definition.

UPDATE: I've been informed with great Gravitas that d00d is of teh non-d00d gender, so I plucked some eyebrows on teh way and shaved some pronouns now he is a she.

Doo-de-doo, de-doo, de-doo, de-doo-de-doo

Congrats Jigme.

2011-10-13T12:44:00.000-04:00

Congratulations to teh d00d whose name I done stoled.

Very Low Food Security

2011-10-07T16:11:00.000-04:00

via this Mark D comment at teh Mothership.

There's already been a lot of good commentary on how horrible teh Julie Gunlock piece is so it's tough to add anything worthwhile. Well Imma try anyways.

Teh USDA page has a lot of useful descriptors and statistics regarding food insecurity. It is no wonder Gunlock didn't link it.

She is using teh stat for "very low food security" even though a substantial percentage of the "low food security" group report skipping or reducing the size of meals. What she describes as "unpleasant to be sure, but at its core, just a somewhat boring, irregular, and occasionally reduced diet" includes households where someone did not eat for an entire day. Sometimes several days a month, several months a year.

While it's true that in households with children, the adults shield teh children from hunger by going without food first - this factor is offset by the fact that households with children are more likely to suffer from food insecurity.

Regarding teh lazy bums ought to get a job so's they can afford food aspect of Gunlock's inhuman sociopathy, 85% of households with food-insecure children had at least one working adult, the majority being full-time workers.

Gunlock is offended that Sesame Workshop is creating a whole new muppet to address this minor issue which only affects a bare few million American children. This character was created specifically for this one television special. She claims the Sesame Street is "telling a fib" - but as far as can be determined from the available information and teh sneak preview clip, nothing of the kind occurs. Lily only claims to understand teh unpleasantness about "not knowing where your next meal is coming from" because her family is food insecure and has used food pantries before. Gunlock assumes that government programs and charitable organizations addressing hunger in America "will likely be absent" despite the fact that Lily specifically mentions school meal programs and that TEH ENTIRE SPECIAL IS BUILT AROUND A FOOD PANTRY BEING RUN ON SESAME STREET.

Of course, Gunlock doesn't really think her pre-schooler needs to learn about the welfare system in the U.S. Which is why this show IS AN ABOMINATION BEFORE GOD. NO ONE MUST LEARN OF ANYTHING THAT LITTLE GUNLOCK IS BEING KEPT IGNORANT OF.

It's amazing. There's this one-off Sesame Street special coming up and Julie Gunlock is offended and pissed off about it. Despite being exactly wrong about what is and is not in it. She is offended by what she imagines those dirty hippies at Sesame Workshop have cooked up in their dirty socialist puppet conspiracy. And that's the least offensive part of the column. That she's an ignorant idiot raging against an obviously irrelavent strawman pales in comparison to teh arguments she's using to tear it down. She is actually saying that millions of households experiencing very low food security - where adults are skipping meals for entire days - in teh RICHEST NATION IN THE WORLD - that is okay by her. That situation is a non-problem. Feature, not a bug. God bless those United States of America.

Election Day Again

2011-10-05T22:23:00.000-04:00

Third time in less than a year, tomorrow is voting day in Ontario. It's been a pretty lousy year as teh first election got us Mayor Rob Ford and teh second one got us a Conservative majority government at the federal level. So I'm not feeling particularly optimistic.

Right now, opinion polling is looking pretty good. This is the end of the second consecutive Liberal majority, so the public was certainly in a mood to toss teh bums out. 8 years is plenty long enough to develop a good collection of bad decisions, but that's something I certainly don't have to tell my American readers. At the beginning of the year that mood dominated with the Progressive Conservatives enjoying close to a ten point lead - but the shine has already started to come off the right-ward swing. The last polls before the official one are calling for a Liberal victory - just a question of whether it will be a third majority government in a row or not.

Maybe it's that Ford Nation am disappoint. With good reason. Maybe it's because, teh Harper majority, although only convened for a few weeks, has managed to Law and Order teh fear of totalitarianism into teh public. Maybe being ignorant selfish fucktard assholes is a phase that most Canadians work through in under a year. Maybe it's because the Ontario's PC party went with teh most unlikable shitbag they could have found for leader. I don't know what the reasons are, but I am hoping that they hold strong throughout tomorrow. Because a conservative trifecta will make being in LEAFS SUCK pretty fucking sucky.

Anywho, my predictions (based on pure guesswork) - first the Dippers are going to do a lot bettar than anyone's calling for. Not an Orange surge like in teh Federal election, but at moar than teh 10 to 20 they are projected to pick up. Also, I'm calling for a not-quite majority Liberal government. Plus one seat for the Greens, because why not.

Lib: 53, PC: 28, NDP: 25, Green: 1 - that's the results after all the too-close-to-call ridings are finally called. I'm guessing that there'll be three of these - close enough for recounts, which may or may not happen but don't actually flip any seats.

My own riding was one of the few LEAFS SUCKian ridings that flipped Conservative during the federal election and went for Rob Ford really strongly. I'm predicting that my neighbours have been disillusioned enough with the right that we'll keep our Liberal MPP. He's also fairly high profile being teh Minister of Energy - and that's actually one of the issues being talked about right now too.

Anyways, we'll see how out of touch I am with my province in just a bit over 24 hours. And there's an unopened bottle of Bulleit in case I need consoling.

We'll see how totes off teh mark I

Galt's Cradle

2011-09-28T16:27:00.000-04:00

~~TLDR~~ Musical version:

Just got back from Going Galt for a week. You know, all that snarky snark about how glibertarians who threaten to Go Galt should go ahead already – about how no one will miss them – about how they are being such whiny-ass titty-babies what with the complaining about being saddled with the lowest marginal tax rates in modern history. Well it’s all valid – but there’s another point I want to look at.

First let’s assume the crazy fantasy world of these Randian übermenschen IS REAL. That they are all super-producers with crazy productivities the likes of which us mere leeching mortals cannae ken. Let’s assume that they are some sort of platonic ideal of the Alpha Wolf Executive workaholic putting in their 110% throughout their sixty hour weeks and fully deserving of their massively inflated salaries. Yes, I realize that we are now discussing Mary Sue slash fanfic hypothetical universes, but bear with me.

What are they really “threatening” to do? Cut back on the overtime. Go down to a fifty hour work week and maybe actually take some of their vacation time. To spend with their families. Getting to know the wife and kids better.Really? That’s a threat?

I just spent the last seven days in the company of my wife and five month old daughter, and let me tell you this – loved every minute of it. I’m having difficulty conceptualizing why this would be a bad thing. By all means, all of you ultra-achieving wünderkind who are shocked, SHOCKED I SAY, at the mere thought of a millionaire’s tax bracket or an increase in the top marginal tax rate – take the time off. Find out the colour of your spouse’s eyes. Marvel at how much bigger your kids are already. Try and move past all the things you missed in your childen’s childhoods by NOT MISSING ANY MORE OF THEM.

Really. Honestly and truly. All you libertarians out there who are thinking about Going Galt - please do. And I don't mean that in a snarky don't-let-the-door-hit-you kind of way, but if you really are one of these overworked super-achievers who spend all of their time and energy on work - then take the break. Have a nice dinner with the spousal unit, play some catch with the tykes, call your moms, do some of those things that there is never time to do. You don't even have to thank teh socialests for incentivizing it by threatening higher tax rates - just go and be a human being instead of a fountain of GDP for a change.

AFK

2011-09-21T10:50:00.000-04:00

Glad I finally got that long post up. Time was running short as I will be offline for teh next week or so. Not that you'd notice based on my output here, but if anyone at teh Mothership's wondering why I'm being so quiet - I'm ~~in your mom's bedroom~~ at an undisclosed location.

Windows Vista*

2011-09-20T21:35:00.000-04:00

*About teh post title - I was going to title this post Broken Windows Vista, but then realized that was redundant.

Before going forward, just want to shoutout the Graeber Invention of Money post again. His highlighting the fact that one of the foundational ideas about economics is totally bogus is pretty awesome. Also too, teh interview wherein we learn that teh symbol of teh Liberty Fund is an excellent example of how money, debt and credit pre-existed barter and was probably a result of government regulations and trial lawyer type compensation processes.

Also too, a disclaimer. This post is Part 2 – and if you had a problem with Part 1 then you should probably give this one a bye. This post is going to be speculation about the reasons and related bits associated with the mistakes I pointed out in the previous post.

One final bit of preamble.
TLDR version: FYIGM is actually a generous interpretation.

So anyways, there’s a bunch of different things you can read into the broken windows fallacy. Firstly, you’ll notice that there is a premium of sorts for wealth on hand as opposed to earned money. The owner of the broken window is worse off because they had to spend cash that they had – but the window repairman is not better off because he exchanged his labours for the replacement cost of the window. Now if you stipulate that the opportunity cost to the repairman is zero – IOW he doesn’t have to cancel other window replacement jobs or postpone window replacement training or skip that year’s window replacement trade show (GlazeCon 1849 – the cosplay is practically pornographic) – then the window repair is pure windfall profit for him. So what difference is there in the value between the window owner’s six francs or the window repairer’s six francs? Obv. none.

Not so obv. This misconception – that available cash is worth more than earned cash – has been carried through to this very day. For instance, the capital gains tax rate is lower than income tax rate. If you accept the conservative/libertarian never before observed Laffer curve concept that the higher the taxes the greater the disincentive to produce – the result is that it is somehow less harmful to directly “disincentivize” producers than it is to “disincentivize” investment. Apparently the ideas surrounding “supply-side” economics does not extend to the market for labour.

The other big problem I had with Bastiat was the labelling of things as useless. He doesn’t accept the idea that the window repairman’s exercising of his trade has value in and of itself. That since the net wealth of the village is unchanged, the window repairman’s efforts are cancelled out and somehow “useless.” It is as if he could not see the value of maintaining skill and expertise in local industries. The type of attitude that would denounce tariffs of all types and push for widespread free trade.

Actually, it’s worse than that. Because the things he rails against have as their intended purpose things which are clearly indicated. In the case of tariffs, it’s protecting local industry – in the case of “make work” programs it is keeping people employable and engaged in society – in the case of the assorted social programs that are always at risk of funding cuts it is the provision of those social services. Those things all have value, but Bastiat as well as modern day conservatives claim that they don’t. Usually based on this dollar value taxes-are-evil approach.

This ties into the glibertarian “why can’t we let charities do that” thing which I’ve railed against elsewhere. Perhaps another post.

Lastly but not leastly, the whole broken windows fallacy thing gives us a new and more complete definition of modern conservatism than Galbraith’s. Observe that in the broken window story, society is no worse off for having lost the window. Overall wealth is unchanged because an otherwise idle labourer has the opportunity to produce a replacement. But the window owner is definitely worse off. And this is the parable that Bastiat uses in order to advocate for policy decisions that affect all of society – including the window repair d00d. That’s conservatism in a wingnutshell – this idea benefits me personally therefore it should be the way it is for everyone.

This not only covers the greedy position conservatives have about government providing only the services they want and need and nothing else, all the while complaining about having to pay for any of it. It also applies to social conservatives and their insatiable need to prevent anyone else from having a good time. Their religion has forced them to suffer a joyless existence made bearable only by the future promise of eternal happiness and communion with the most powerful being in the universe. And if that’s good enough for them,,,

It’s not that conservatives lack empathy, it’s that their empathy only works backwards. It’s not that they can’t imagine themselves in position of someone less fortunate or successful – it’s that when they do so they project so much of their own experiences that they actually become offended. Because they achieved whatever level of success and comfort they have, everyone should be able to as well. That for conservatives, imagining what it is like to be in someone else’s shoes really means ~~wondering why~~ being insulted that people have the audacity to not do exactly as they do all the time.

And so the way they understand the world is through that lens. Their metaphors and analogies are all of the Me First variety. Tax cuts are good because they want to pay less in taxes (even if those tax cuts don’t target them but only benefit the uber-rich, because they may be uber-rich some day). Cutting social safety net programs is okay because they don’t use them. Something about your mother. Hence government budgets are like family budgets meaning the anti-Keynesian belt tightening austerity during recessions and crazy deficits during market booms. Hence “if you have nothing to hide,,,” since of course everything they do is by definition societally accepted if not revered. Hence all sorts of authoritarian abuses because there would never be a reason to racially profile them.

And finally I started Part 1 by mentioning that I was going to be very critical of Claude Frédéric Bastiat, but that we should bear in mind that his time was a very different one. While it was the Age of Enlightenment, enlightenment is a process whereby one starts of unenlightened. That his writings show the twisted thoughts of a selfish sociopath with no empathy for his fellow man, he was probably still pretty progressive for his time. However, the folks that buy into his century and a half old worldview - they don't have the same excuse.

You're Not Supposed To See Teh Window

2011-09-09T00:01:00.049-04:00

This one's way way TL - and Confession Time: I'm already working on Part 2.

TLDR version: Shorter Bastiat

FYIGM

So, a bit of a while ago I got engaged in a bit of a flame war at Crooked Timber. About broken windows. It's gotten me thinking and reading and although I really don't have anything new to add to what I said at CT, I think it might make sense to put it all down in a single post. Well, at least it will make moar sense to me - which is what this blog is here for anyways.

First the beackground - the broken window fallacy. From Claude Frédéric Bastiat's essay That Which is Seen, and That Which is Not Seen. I'm going to be pretty harsh on pauvre Bastiat - so I want to caveat up front. Dude is from early 19th century France. Those were different times, Revolutionarily different. Please bear that in mind.

Here's the story: There's this shopkeeper, let's call her Alice. Alice's son, Alison, breaks one of the shop's windows. Alice hires a glazier, Bob, to repair the window. The price is six francs (for context, the franc at the time was a physical standard amount of gold. ~0.29 g. Meaning six francs is approximately a fifth of a troy ounce or about $350). Bob fixes the window, collects his three and a half benjamins and in rubs his hands in glee.

So, from an economics perspective, what's happened? Well, Bob did six francs of work that he otherwise would not have done. And that's it. The broken window is repaired and thus the community as a whole is no better or worse off. Six francs has been redistributed from Alice to Bob and Alison is probs in big trouble with his mom (whom I totally did).

But no. Here's where Bastiat comes in and says, oho - while the overall wealth of the community appears to be unchanged, you are not factoring in what is unseen. Which apparently is Alice's spending six francs on new shoes (ladies and their obsession with buying shoes - amirite!). Charlie, who is teh village cobbler, is now out the six francs that he would have been plus had Alice not had to shell out all them phat francs to Bob.

Which is, of course, bullshit. The way I phrased it in teh original dust-up was And Bob wears no shoes?

Money is money, francs are francs. Cold hard cash is teh most frungible of assets - even moar so than diamonds, or so my fence tells me. Does it matter if teh six francs are spent by Alice or spent by Bob? No, it does not (although this misconception is an interesting one to unpack as well - possibly in a later post). So Bastiat's poor unseen Charlie is getting his six francs after all, or maybe not Charlie since it's only teh chicks with teh thing about shoes. Let's say that Bob blows the cash on a used computer from some guy named Dave. Bastiat's "not seen" Charlie is exactly balanced out by Dave whom Bastiat doesn't seem to see.

There was a big discussion about hoarding. Various people maintained that teh broken window fallacy does not require Bob to be a hoarder. This is untrue. The conclusion of the Broken Windows section:

The reader must take care to remember that there are not two persons only, but three concerned in the little scene which I have submitted to his attention. One of them, ~~James B.~~Alice, represents the consumer, reduced, by an act of destruction, to one enjoyment instead of two. Another under the title of ~~the glazier~~Bob, shows us the producer, whose trade is encouraged by the accident. The third is ~~the shoemaker~~Charlie (or some other tradesman but def not that Dave guy), whose labour suffers proportionably by the same cause. It is this third person who is always kept in the shade, and who, personating that which is not seen, is a necessary element of the problem. It is he who shows us how absurd it is to think we see a profit in an act of destruction.

Clearly for the little parable to have any meaning, only money spent by Alice counts. Bastiat has raised teh unseen potential use by Alice of the cost of the window - but studiously ignores teh possibility of increased spending by Bob due to his coming into new money. Furthermore, the cash spent by Alice is cash that she had on hand - and in the story, Bob is otherwise unemployed. Which of the two is more likely to hoard cash? Later in that same essay, Bastiat waxes poetical on teh virtue of hoarding - so there's also that.

Anyways, teh whole point of teh parable apparently, is to show that Bastiat is a huge hypocrite. The parable is a very special form of special pleading where he invents an entire extra set of rules, which don't actually change the outcome unless they are selectively applied. It's like playing a baseball game and being told that reaching third base now also counts as a run. And then being told that this special rule only applies in the bottom half of the inning. Without tilting teh playing field entirely in his favour, teh best Bastiat actually manages to prove is that in a system with excess capacity/high unemployment - the useless destruction of things causes no net loss to society. Because there is available unused capacity to replace them.

But wait, what about that bit about redistribution? At the very least doesn't Bastiat have an argument from moral grounds about how even if you pay Paul, robbing Peter is still Dentistry? Well, yes and no. In the original story, teh window is broken by accident by Alison. Or maybe not accident but possibly as revenge for being given a girl's name. Or maybe while he was practicing in order to succesfully punch a shark in teh face. Whatever Alison's motives, there appears to be no lesson in morals available. Next Bastiat proposes that Bob hires a bunch of thugs to go break windows for teh sake of drumming up business. Well, that certainly seems immoral. So it appears that the issue of the moral rightness with respect to redistribution hinges upon context. Meaning that teh parable is a pretty weak one in terms of being some sort of archetype to base analogies on.

But base analogies Bastiat does. Many of them. He projects the lessons of this story, lessons which only follow if you are willfully ignorant of teh inherent contradictions, to a host of other things.

And each time the formulation of teh analogy goes - Alice is teh consumer or teh taxpayer or teh polity at large. Alice is kinda like Christine O'Donnell, she's you. Bob is any public spending be it a standing army, spending on the arts, trade restrictions and tariffs, just about everything. Charlie is everything good and proper. All that we want out of society. Everything that is right and just. Bastiat doesn't recognize Dave, probs because he's on vacation in Europa (not Europe, since that's where Bastiat iswas). And Alison and teh broken window? Everything Bastiat hates - taxes, regulations, prepared mustard instead of Dijon, teh foul mouthed Poet-Engineer from Canada that's schtupping his mom, teh noise that kids these days call music. Basically, any and everything he doesn't like.

So, you're Alice. Alison, who I suppose is no longer your son but rather some sort of OMG! SOSHULASM! inflicted upon you. You are at some sort of loss due to teh effects of SOSHULASM. Bastiat's true nemesis, whom he calls Monsieur Industriel (firstname Strawman) says to not worry since teh loss is totes balanced out because teh funds go to Bob who provides you with something in exchange. i.e. Despite being out your precious tax monies, here's a functioning civil society for your troubles. But Bastiat says - oho, that's all well and good, but what of poor Charlie! You kept Charlie out of teh picture! Therefore it is a net loss to society. Not just to Alice but to society as a whole.

It ain't. It never is in any of the comparisons he makes. Because all of the balances revolve around what Alice is out compared to what she would have had in an otherwise perfect world and none of them consider Bob at all. Not only that, he is saying that this analysis is the basis on which policy decisions which affect all of scoiety, Bob and vacationing Dave included. And since you're Alice - it's like some form of meta ur-pandering. So credit for that, Bastiat was already trying to buy your vote in teh earliest days of modern democracy.

Here's teh kicker. That's not teh worst error Bastiat makes. There is another "not seen" thing which Bastiat completely igmores. The breaking of the window itself. He calls it the useless destruction of things, but "useless" - as in without any value whatsoever - that's a hard bar to meet.

The lost window may have been previously faulty in some way. Somehow inapprorpiate for teh application. Knowledge which was not available when teh window was first installed means that teh new window has teh potential to be better than teh old one. Perhaps a window is a bad example of these things - but teh point was to set up a basis for analogies. There are all sorts of things that one wishes they could change after they were installed. Bastiat also offhandedly cites the example of a fire burning down Paris. Well that is a bit extreme and teh cultural loss is immeasurable, but on a smaller scale, a single house burning down provides teh opportunity to rebuild it, this time meeting standards for electical wiring. A moar recent example is teh LulzSec hacking of PSN. Destroyed Sony's entire security system (twice). Compromised tens of thousands of credit card numbers. Doesn't that count as "useless destruction"? Well no. Sony's "security" was godawfully bad. There is definite value - especially to Sony - in knowing that their security seriously needed beefing up. It would be like if Alice's window popped itself open while no one was looking and started throwing shit out into teh streets. Breaking teh window was a good thing. Breaking Sony's "security" was also a good thing. Because it was done for teh lulz and not to bone thousands of people whose only mistake was to think Sony would be able to keep their credit card info safe. People whom Sony had already put at risk for that very boning.

On an even moar obvious basis - technology doesn't stand still. Again, teh window ain't teh best example since window technology is already pretty mature - but say one of your buddies, for example Alison, finally manages to break your Nokia 5110 (probs with a sledgehammer). ALISON HAS DONE YOU A FAVOUR. You should be thanking her.

Bastiat is not only unconcerned with what happens to teh money after Alice spends it - he is concerned only with money. In the original story, Bob is an unemployed skilled worker. The longer he is unemployed, the rustier he gets and teh moar out of touch with current industry practices he is. The opportunity to exercise his trade has value to society in and of itself. And in teh current context of the long term unemployment epidemic in the US - it's not a small point (although I concede that it's not something that 19th century frenchmen should have been able to predict).

That's the real unseen that Bastiat glazes over. In the example of tariffs and what he calls "restrictions", Bastiat assigns a value of nurturing local homegrown industry at zero. According to Bastiat, there is apparently no value in having domestic sources of goods when they can be procured on teh global market. Kinda funny considering the state of international relations in Europe during his time. I mean, Prussia made such fine weaponry, why bother with a domestic arms industry when you can just purchase said items from your neighbour?

The usual bugaboo that is raised as teh broken window is make-work programs. Why implement make-work programs when you could just lower taxes and BOOM MAGIC FAIRY JOB CREATION? Not to be too asshole-ish about it, but it's right there in teh name. To Make Work. Making work isn't a by-product of Make Work programs. As I mentioned previously, long-term unemployment - not good for society. The whole idea is to keep teh long term unemployed from slipping into teh long term unemployable. But that's something Bastiat doesn't see. Because he got his job at 17 through nepotism and then inherited a fat ass estate at 25 making him fabulously wealthy and never needing to do sweet fuck all except complain about taxes for teh rest of his natural life.

Is It Getting Hot In Here? Your Mom Says Yes.

2011-08-31T11:41:00.001-04:00

So I noticed that some of my posts are getting to be on teh extremely rambly long side. Imma provide a shortcut for all y'all by opening with TLDR versions when teh post starts looking a bit long.

TLDR version: Even fraud demonstrates that there is growing scientific consensus on global warming.

So over at teh Mothership, there's a discussion of conservatives and their anti-science positions. Notably, the OISM petition got brought up. Anyways, now that that petition has a bit of history - there's some interesting observations that can be made about it.

The original petition circulated in '97 and by '99 had garnered over 17,000 signatures with an interesting scam cover letter/"article" attached. Scientific American took a look at a random sampled of climate-science related Ph.D. signatories in 2001. Some they couldn't identify, some had died, some had no recollection of the petition at all.
Eleven of thirty would sign again, six would not. Those six still count in OISM's numbers. SciAm's rough guess was that the petition had about 200 climate researchers signed on.

The population of denialists is not monolithic, although that is the way they are evolving. My point about the original petition is that about 20% of denialists with doctorates in some climate science related field had changed their minds in two years. Science requires that theories match the data. As moar data is collected and moar certainty is provided, even teh reality-challenged start being won over. And the past decade, decade and a half has seen a lot of new data being added to the body of knowledge.

This is reflected in the overall attitudes of the scientific community towards climate change. Certainly the design of surveys is important and flawed surveys will give you flawed results - but you can still glean information so long as the flawed surveys are consistently fraudulent.

Example: Bray and Von Storch conducted dubious surveys in '96 and '03. Comparing the two shows a slight increase in the certainty that antropogenic global warming (AGW) is occuring. A third survey conducted in '08 shows an large increase in certainty on the point. Newer surveys of scientists tend towards a range of 90% to 98% agreement - older surveys vary much moar with much greater levels of both uncertainty and disagreement.

Back to OISM. They ran a new petition campaign in 2007 in response to algore is fat. It's hard to tell how many new signatories they got, because they've been collecting non-stop since '97. BUT the total number now, 31K, is less than double what it was after their first petition campaign. Thus, despite having this established presence, despite the increased ease teh Intarspoor has given to spreading crackpot ideas, despite the supposed "widespread skepticism about climate change in the scientific community" they garnered fewer new signatures in 2007 than they did ten years earlier. Because there is scientific consensus regarding AGW and their fraud is harder to perpetrate.

The field of study has gotten more attention, more work, more research and more data since 1997 and as a result the attitudes of climate researchers is increasing certainty of man-made global warming. Even the rare dissenting groups (such as economic geologists who's entire field of study is dedicated to finding oil deposits) have moderated their dissent.

At this point, global warming is an observed fact. The "theory" that human activity is the cause of the majority of the warming is generally accepted by the scientific community. Meaning that a scientific consensus about anthropogenic global warming is an observed fact.

There is still, as has always been the case, an avenue by which denialists can challenge AGW. By using the mountains of established data and proposing their own theory as to what's happening. But denying the data or denying that there is widespread agreement amongst scientists that man-made global warming is occurring is just make-believe fantasy. And while make-believe fantasy has its place (i.e. your mom's bedroom) that place sure as heck ain't where teh denialists are trying to raise it.

edit: grammar fixes.

Neüphemism: Talking Baseball

2011-08-25T23:17:00.000-04:00

Witch-tine is actually back in teh news after her walkout last week, but she really is disappearing into the noise. New book notwithstanding (current Amazon rank #55,667 - it was released on the 16th of August).

But I have this perfectly wonderful tag that I don't want to see disappear, so I'm expanding it. Here's your first non-Witchtine neüphemism:

Talking baseball.

Bernie!

2011-08-23T22:12:00.003-04:00

Since New York legalized same sex marriage, this was pretty much inevitable. I endorse teh message - Bert, Ernie, fabulous nuptials. Make it happen.

I am disappoint in Jezebel for throwing cold water on teh idea. And doing so by parroting teh official party line. Don't exist below teh waist, huh? How do you explain this then?

Actually, let's look at that official statement again:

They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves.

OMG. What could be moar in keeping with that thAn showing a loving homosexual couple? Every single character that appears in media for pre-schoolers is assumed straight. Many are obviously and clearly heterosexual. Even muppets and their stereotypically heteronormative behaviour.

OTOH, @Joan_Rivers does have a hard to refute argument.

Editted - Twitter protocol failure. And for GrammarBlaster Peter.
And one moar time to link Julian Sanchez who says what I'm trying to much bettar and almost two weeks earlier.

Good-bye Jack

2011-08-22T15:50:00.000-04:00

Jack Layton has passed away this morning.

He was that odd thing which confuses everyone - a decent politician. He was genuinely liked and respected throughout the nation. If anything, people thought he was too naive and not cynical enough to be playing teh game. And yet he lead his party to a historic showing in the last election, the first non-Conservative and non-Liberal to be elected Leader of the Opposition.

A hippie and an idealist. The guy was a complete and total dork - but in that honest and endearing way. This is him on the campaign trail for that historic election:

It does seem like a smaller world without Jack in it.

Obama and Democracy

2011-08-20T03:10:00.000-04:00

So, this month has marked some excursions from my ususal commenting grounds. My first comments at Balloon Juice and Lawyers, Guns and Money. Prompted by the shit sandwich that is debt ceiling Super Congress cutty Mc cut cut bullshit deficit OMG deficit - it's not like we're skirting around a fucking double dip recession or worse here. Anywho, what with all that, it's been a pretty Obama-bashing gay old time. And it's probably way too late at this point to clarify my position on Obama for folks who have only seen my nym for teh first time on some HE SOLD US OUT rant, but thinking about itand getting it down into words has been an intersting learning experience for me, so wev.

Firstly - yes, what some anonymous foul-mouthed d00d in Canuckistani land thinks about teh preznit? Who fucking cares? Well, I do. And it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to. Okay, here we go:

Item: As I said over at fish's

I am still very relieved that it's him and not Bomb Iran in teh Oval Office. Or, IPU forbid - Grifter McQuitsalot.

Even if you gone on the assumption that Obama is a corporatist tool, and nothing more, he is still way preferable over JiSM3. And for all you Obamapologists with your President Bachmann ooga-booga-boo! this is what we call "grading on a curve". And it is a crazy curve that yields nothing informative or enlightening. Like when folks tell you that whatever you're being forced to settle for is "better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick". Great, thanks. When someone offer to trade me for said eye poking, I'll now know to pass.

Item: I'm not a PUMA. This isn't about Hillary being teh better choice. Ask anyone who knew me from back when I switched to this nym in ought eight. And I'm glad that we've got Barry instead if Hillary, notwithstanding that we'll never really know for sure how Hillary would have done things. LG&M moved onto this question after I decided to write this post but well before I finished it. Anyways, here's what I think about Obama v Hillary.

I'm pretty bullish about Obama on gay rights. Sure he moved really slowly on it, but I really don't know if Hillary would have been better. On DADT, I think she'd have been worse - and not because of Bill, but because she seems even more deferential to teh military than Obama does (IMO - can't be arsed to find back-up). This covers too, Iraq and Afghanistan. It's hard to imagine, but I believe that Obama is the least hawkish of anyone who had a reasonable shot at 2008.

I think HRC might well have pushed harder for HCR. It's hard to imagine someone pushing less than Obama did. Actively berating the people supporting what was then the strongest bit of leverage he had. Even if he was set on flushing teh robust public option, he could have let teh Leftsies rant and rave and shift the Overton and gotten a better price for killing the most effective cost control method being debated at the time.

Ugh, sorry for the Obama bashing diversion - where was I? Right, I think Hillary would have fought harder for HCR, but I also think that with Hillary pushing, the opposition would have fought harder as well. I think we'd probably have ended up with a dead reform bill. Although this isn't necessarily a bad thing. I believe I'm on record as a Kill Bill during HCR Shit Sandwich - not strongly but my feeling was there was too much graft. I seem to recall that my final position was pass the thing anyways, not on its own merits, but to add momentum going into Fin Reg. Yeah, that worked out fan-fucking-tastic. Still, my feelings about the HCR that passed, I'd have to say is it woulda wash if we had Hills instead.

In Hillary's defense, I would say that I'd have been less disappointed by Hillary if we ended up in the same Debt Ceiling Austerity Growth Dada play we're in. Not to say that I didn't expect much from her - for sure her election would have been historic - and coming out of the dark years that marked teh beginning of teh new millenium, anything would have seemed glorious. But not like Barack. d00d just has so much charisma and he so captured the imaginations of not only America, but teh whole world.

Okay, battle with ancient history done with - what's my beef with Obama? There's a bunch of specific things, but I think there's a separate common item to it all. I think teh word for it is establishmentarianism. A strong bias towards those already in power.

Here's teh thing - democracies are only as strong as their institutions, otherwise it's just mob rule. This is why, for example, plebiscites on minority rights are seen as uncouth. "Minority rights" is an institution that is respected in functional democracies. The problem with teh US is that some of those institutions have gained outsized importance - those being the usual suspects - Wall Street, The Military-Industrial Complex, &c..

And my problem with Obama is his whole hearted embrace of that paradigm. Hence the lack of accountability for war crimes. The campaign against whistleblowers. The continued record high deployment fractions of the armed forces. The financial bailouts that favour giant mega corporations over families with tough mortgages. Everything he does now is in this protect-the-hierarchy-and-expand-its-reach mode. HCR favours teh insurance industry and hospitals more than it does the uninsured. The outrage against entitlement program cuts only seem to want to protect Social Security and Medicare, neither of which are means tested (note that I am most definitely NOT endorsing means testing these programs). Medicaid, which is for helping the neediest is fine for chopping.

Even his approach to doing things is different. OFA, that grassroots machine that helped him get elected - practically sat out the first fight and then got mothballed. Everything is decided by small groups of appointees working in the back rooms. He received his transparency in government award in one of those back rooms. But it's this working group or that special Presidential Commission or its Super Congress - twice the authority and about 2% of the membership! Super!

That's the complaint really. What happened to the community organizer? To small donations? To the wide base of motivated volunteers? To listening to the people that worked their assess off three years ago instead of teh Republicans?

Post Pexton

2011-08-15T23:01:00.000-04:00

So anyways, I read Pexton's Ombudscolumn from Sunday. I figured that after anonymous journalist spills catty gossip about Michelle Obama, the whole Rubin fiasco and then a plea for a balanced impartial neither left nor right Washongton Post (BWaaAHAhAHHAaHAHahA) - he's shown consistency for being totes mockworthiness. He did not disappoint. Or rather he did disappoint, in all the ways he was expected to. I was working about a pretty good head of steam on it too, but then I figured - what's the point. The Wash Post is so pitiably pathetic now - teh humour in giving it teh well deserved kick it needs is gone. Looking at Pexton's past four columns, he's worse than Deborah Howell. But at the same time, with Ferd teh Turd still not fired-for-cause, who really cares?

At this point in time, poking fun at teh Wash Post is like pointing at all teh pennants with teh 60's dates on them at Leafs games.

Okay, here's a Shorter Patrick B. Pexton:

Conservatives complained about this, conservatives complained about that. These complaints were ludicrous and unfounded, so naturally we took them seriously. But as it turns out, the staff at the Washington Post are never wrong. Unlike teh conservatives in this case. And liberals too. I don't have any reason to mention liberals here since I studiously ignore their complaints - but trust me when I say that they are also wrong. And that's what we in teh bidness call Journalism.

That out of the way, here are a coupla videos:
For Science!

For teh long lost Goddamn Batman:

Tummy Time

2011-08-15T09:52:00.002-04:00

Speaking of the Nanny State, babies. There's a lot of advice given to new parents, and a lot of the suggestions have reasoning and justification that is poorly understood or even completely irrelevant. In this latest filler post, I'm going to talk about back sleeping and tummy time. If you can make it to the end, there'll be Ultra Ninja stuff as reward.

One of the pervasive pieces of advice is that only the back is safest for sleeping infants. Since the "Back To Sleep" program was instituted in the early ninties, the fraction of babies sleeping face-up has increased dramatically, and the rate of SIDS cases has decreased just as dramarically. The connection between the two is still hypothetical and scientifically speaking, poorly developed - but that doesn't change the fact that it is empirical shown that only the back is safest for sleeping infants.

One of the drawbacks to all this back sleeping is delays in physical and social development, which completely vanish by the age of 18 months. Since there is no long-term negative effects of back sleeping, you would think that it gets left at that. But no, new parents apparently always need advice on what to do with their babies - and so we have tummy time.

Tummy time is supervised lying on your stomach time. Not kidding. You are supposed to place your infant on their stomachs and leave them there until they freak out. Up to 30 minutes a day starting in the first week of life. Keep going for as long as the baby can stand it. All to mitigate developmental delays whose effects are completely invisible by 18 months.

There's all sorts of resources now to help parents get their babies to tummy time longer. I've met parents who were traumatized by tummy time and have given up on it. And while it's great that they are no longer subjecting their infants to things that are guaranteed to make them cry, it kinda sucks that they all feel guilty about it. But that is the nature of how society treats new parents - as totally valid targets for judgement and scorn. Because making parents feel guilty and forcing them to second guess their every decision is what's best for baby. Or something.

Anyways, we lucked out (yet again) in that Ultra Ninja loves tummy time. No joke, we roll her onto her stomach to stop her from crying. So despite being a back sleeper, she's gotten a fair amount of tummy time and is pretty advanced in some aspects of physical development. This means that I already get to carry her around with her sitting on my shoulders. I do keep a hand on her just in case, since her grip comes and goes But she sits up there with no problems - looking around and laughing.

Which brings us to the quote of the day:

On the plus side, I can now scratch "baby vomit in the ear" off of my life list.

Here is a pic of UN being horribly tortured by being forced to lie on her stomach:

Haruka vs Kenny Omega

2011-08-13T01:39:00.001-04:00

Confession Time: I like pro wrestling.

Anyways, I've noticed that I am way off pace to hit a hundred posts by year end, so I thought I'd start padding the post count with a video.

Cyber Cyber Burning Bright

2011-08-12T04:04:00.004-04:00

inspired by this post at Crooked Timber and with apologies to William "Would You Like To See My Etchings" Blake.

Cyber Cyber burning bright
In teh wee hours of night
What immoral acts we type
At least we're not doin' it on Skype.

In what distant deeps and skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
How old you are, I cannot tell,
Please IM your A/S/L.

And the pic in your gravatar
Teh tee that says nerds you ♥
Makes mine skip an irregular beat
Makes me question if I am 1337.

WTH! WTF!
OMG! Teh heat does suck.
What the anvil? what death grip
Off the desk one hand slips

When it's done, I lower my spear
And water'd keyboard with my tears
I did smile, thinking you nude
Whilst in my base, killing my d00dz.

Cyber Cyber burning bright
In teh wee hours of night
What immoral acts we type
To each other through teh Intarpipes.

Ombuds Mani Padme Hum

2011-08-09T06:36:00.000-04:00

So, last week we discovered that the Washington Post does still have an Ombudsman. In a startlingly offensive column, Patrick B. Pexton brought out all teh standard tools of the Wash Post Ombudsman trade. Namely, he blamed everything on offensive bloggers and angry emails. This was in defense of Jennifer Rubin* who not only got the central fact of one of her posts incorrect, but when she corrected it - insisted that being factually wrong had no bearing on her argument. And did so in a borderline racist way, to use Pexton's words**.

Anyways, I though I might check in to see if his latest column is going to offend me. SPOILER: It does.

On first read it seems innocuous - he isn't circling the wagons to defend some Post writer who clearly stepped outside the bounds. And shockingly, he seems to be saying that the opinions of readers of the Washington Post should count for something. I know, imagine an ombudsman having that position. It's quite surprising.

But then you remember he's talking about the Washington Post, and it falls apart. I doubt if he could have written moar insincere words if he had tried.

He starts off by talking about the Post's competitors and how they have paywalls up. Apparently this means that Politico and Bloomberg and teh Grey Lady are all publications doing journalism for two limited audiences: fat cats and power elites. While teh Wash Post isn't. BWAAhahHaHahhhaHAHAHHAhha. Pull teh other one, it's got bells on.

The Wash Post isn't a Village rag written for Washington insiders. What colour is the sky in Pexton's world? Hey remember a couple years ago when Katharine Weymouth was pimping out her newsroom to fat cats and power elites? But that was then and it's not like the Wash Post didn't do a thorough investigation into the situation and come up with some serious changes to the way they did things. Wait, they did investigate and decide that everything's hunky dory. Apparently the problem wasn't with the cash-for-access scheme but rather the advertising for it. Katharine Weymouth? Still publisher of the Washington Post.

Besides, what would it mean to "be a paper for the rest of us"? I suppose that means cutting out all the gossipy meaningless tripe articles and only focus on the newsworthy. To which I will point out Pexton's column from before the Rubin defense. The one where he calls a story on Michelle Obama's lunch newsworthy. A story they decided belonged under Politics and Policy.

Nevermind that the justification (it's hypocritical of Michelle to binge while promoting healthy eating) is wrnog. There is no hypocrisy because a healthy lifestyle, including diet does not preclude the occasional caloric splurge. Because Michelle is fighting against childhood obesity, and the only standard by which Michelle Obama can be considered obese is the one that fashion magazine editors have where they photoshop size 0 models to make them look thinner (incidentally, also unhealthy).

Nevermind that the entire monster lunch story is single anonymously sourced. One source that refuses to identify themselves. Yeah, totes not gossip - completely a "within-the-bounds" news story.

Nevermind that you most of your column to address one line in a different article about Nancy Reagan and Barbara Bush. Holy crap. A hit piece written solely to discredit the current First Lady which turns out to be totally groundless*** - you say is fine because of the hypocrisy - which isn't actually there. A single throwaway line in a piece about someone else entirely - needs investigating, a talking to for the writer, and public admonishment in the paper. SHE WAS FUCKING WRITING ABOUT BETTY FORD FOR FUCKS SAKE!

And I haven't even started in on the left-right bullshit (This means that The Post can’t be a liberal publication or a conservative one.) that apparently must be in every single Wash Post Ombudsman column. Congratulations Patrick B. Pexton, you're certainly doing a great job at meeting the Ombudsman standard set by the late Deborah Howell.

* I went on at length about this in the comment threads at Teh Mothership and Crooked Timber.
** That Pexton recognizes Rubin's "correction" as both a non-correction, "potentially" offensive and borderline racist might make you wonder why he went to such lengths to defend her writing. Well the reason is because he is a douchebag.
*** And in violation of the Washington Post's policy about anonymous sorucing. PROTIP for Patrick Pexton, not that he'll ever read this: Also too - a fucking anonymous Washington Post journalist?!?! WTF! Your paper is not only using anonymous sources for catty, petty and substance-free attacks on public figures, it's also the anonymous source too! Isn't that the sort of thing a fucking ombudsman should be fucking looking at you useless fucking piece of crap? Fuck.

Tax Cuts Cut Both Ways - UPDATED and now ridiculously long

2011-07-18T21:49:00.040-04:00

That whole stupid fucking insane bullshit about tax cuts paying for themselves? About how teh only way to save teh Economies is by cutting taxes on teh rich and teh corporations? Well, I suppose if you're reading this you probably are well aware that it's bullshit and there's decades of proof of it, but have you ever wondered why it's wrnog? I mean other than the fact that teh argument is always made by smug sociopathic selfish jerkasses or brainless dolts that think they are smug sociopathic selfish jerkasses.

Caveat - I'm just pulling stuff outta my ass here, it's not like I'm an economist - heck I don't even have an mba.

Here's the argument, by cutting taxes to teh uber wealthy - they'll have moar disposable income to spend which thus stimulates teh economy! Tax cuts mean that rich folks have moar resources that they can then invest! Increasing all sorts of good things for teh peons! Yayyys!

Only, of course teh richer you are, teh higher your savings rate. Meaning that cutting a dollar of taxes for teh wealthy has a smaller effect than giving a dollar to teh less wealthy. That if you really wanted to stimulate teh economy and boost consumer spending, tax cuts benefitting mostly teh rich is teh worst way to do it. Let's gloss over all of that, like a good glibertarian.

Teh tax cut thing is still bullshit. If you wanted to "incentivize" spending by teh wealthy - you can do that with tax credits. Up teh top tax rate and give tax refunds to Moneybags McHazALot when he actually uses his obscene wealth right when it would help teh economy teh most. That way you can ding teh miserly Hoardy McSkinflints without hurting teh productive überGaltmenschen who only want to help teh markets realize their full potentials. It's not a crazy idea - 401(k)'s are a tax refund based method to get people to put away some retirement moneys. Typically into investments. Although maybe 401(k)'s is a bad example given market performance over teh past few years. Still - the basic idea is there, and anything that has gotten capital investment from a mutual fund has tax refunds to thank.

So anyone trying to sell you on tax cuts to boost investment or spending or whatnot, they are lying or stupid. If you wanted to boost investment or spending or wev, you can just do that much moar efficiently than by cutting taxes.  Teh fairytale is purely a justification for tax cuts.

Anyways, if it's so easy - why don't they do it more? Well other than the fucktards that run the system being total fucktards - they actually do do this a lot (heh "do do"). All those various deductions and exemptions are all programs which cut taxes for specific individuals for doing specific things, such as spending money on their home business or having babbies.

Okay, that's a lot of background - hopefully my point is a good one.

So, there are also these types of programs for corporations and businesses too. The one I'm going to talk about is the one I have some experience with - the Renewable Energy Tax Credits. There are two (actually three, but that's complicating things unnecessarily) programs - the Investment Tax Credit and the Production Tax Credit. One covers 30% of the capital costs of installing a renewable energy facility and the other is worth around a third to a half the average wholesale price of electricity last year - for ten years. These programs can easily turn a marginal project into one with quite decent returns.

BUT - and here's teh problem - teh incentives are tax refunds. Meaning that to take advantage of these programs, you need to find investors who are taxable (called "tax equity investors"). And with a lot of big players paying little or no tax those investors are getting hard to find.   Although to be fair, these tax credit programs may be part of why those companies are paying so few taxes.

So here's the other edge of the tax cut - none of this stuff happens in a vacuum. That currently there are big corporations that are sinking capital on a tax equity basis into wind farms and solar power projects. And what happens when you cut their taxes? They suddenly have less to gain from these investments. IOW, that money that you're giving back to corporations so that they can invest in the economy? They were going to invest that money in renewable energy anyways. And now that you've cut their taxes - they aren't. They're going to save it.

UPDATE: There's one of those genteel dust-ups brewing in teh left neo-liberal blogosphere. Henry Farrell at Crooked Timber and Doug Henwood who I hadn't heard of earlier are taking teh piss out of BM Matt. Generally, I'm okay with Matt (excepting that he passed on teh opportunity to spit in ME-gan's face when he had the chance. In fact, he continues to do skip that opportunity regularly! ) but is he ever getting shat upon here, and justifiably too. Why am I mentioning it as an Update to this post?  Just to point out that BM Matt is making very much teh same argument as teh tax-cut folks. That his preferred sacred cow will start all these nebulous mechanisms which will automagically lead to his preferred outcomes because that's how it works since he is so smart and has such deep understanding of teh mechanisms and situation at all times.

Matt, when we're talking about near double digit unemployment for over a year and teh sum total of your argument amounts to repeating "At the margins" - you have lost. You're going back to teh "marginal case" because that's what your argument is - a marginal case. I mean srsly. Ooooh, maybe a higher target inflation rate may have made moar rich persons spend some cash! Right. And maybe monkeys will fly out my ass, carrying giant bags with dollar signs on them.

One. Teh margins are small. That's why they are called margins. I don't know why you folks don't understand that. When you're trying to name teh single best thing we can do to spark job creation, a marginal change is teh wrnog answer.

Two. Yeah, maybe the non-economist non-pundit non-wunderkid (without even an mba) has missed teh point about "at the margin". No, I haven't. You're trying to say that changing the marginal case is a fundamental change - that moving a threshold value captures teh entire population that was near the threshold.

Bullshit. Where are all these people who would have spent like sailors if only the target inflation rate was one percent higher? They don't exist. No one thinks like that, not even technocratic dweebs like Yglesias. Proof - when was the last time BM Matt thought to himself "I'm not going to splurge on anything until the Fed adjusts its target inflation numbers". NEVAR. His mom told me so.

One of his commenters put it very succintly:

This looks like:

1. Feds wants inflation.
2.
3. Inflation!

Three. If you want people to spend money, why the hell don't you just encourage that. What the fuck is it with technocratic neoliberals and their roundabout Rube Goldbergian schemes to get at their goals? Changing the target inflation rate? WTF? You want corporations to expand operations? Why the fuck don't you just target that? New Hire Tax Credit - Gubmint pays x% (in tax credits) of salaries for everyone hired that had been unemployed for moar than y weeks. It's not fucking rocket science.

Four. So a jobs program won't just use idle resouces and therefore will cause inflation. BwaAAHAhhaHAHa. WTF is teh complaint? U wanted higher inflation anyways. i.e. Teh jobs program achieves what you wanted in teh furstest place!*

No srsly though - here he says that teh inflation means that teh Fed will tighten money supply and slow down teh economies again and poof - back to square one. IOW, in teh long run you get zero benefit from a jobs program.

Begging teh question of teh All Powerful Monetary Policy Paradigm. But, nevermind that part.

His problem is that there’s no way you could design a program of that kind that exclusively mobilizes idle resources. Well sure, but you can design a jobs program to do the shit that you want to do. Like employing people who have been out of work for a long time and are at risk of becoming unemployable. Like repairing long neglected infrastructure. And then, even in teh world of Magical Monetary Policy Trumps All, you are back to square one - only if you discount all teh shit that got done.

Shorter BM Matt: Since you can't design a jobs program that exclusively uses idle resources, jobs programs must therefore exclusively use non-idle resources and therefore get you "nowhere". Much simpler to increase the target inflation rate and hope that all teh marbles in teh margins line up and teh magic invisible hand gives us lower unemployment because shut up that's why. So much moar direct and sensible.

*IOW according to Matt, at teh margins people are moar concerned with teh Feds target inflation rate than they are with actual inflation. Because if all he wanted was moar inflation to stimulate marginal entities to spend - then he'd be advocating for a jobs program, which he says causes inflation.

Housecleaning

2011-07-16T12:04:00.000-04:00

Wait. I haz a blog?

Okay, that was a bigger hiatus than normal, even for me. So, let's get some of teh material that's backlogged (hee hee) for then past two weeks out of the way with a couple quickies.

1. About that XBox racist soldier uniform - they pulled it before it got any news attention. Despite the fact that the network has 20 million or so users and a billion dollars of annual revenue - it is entirely below the press radar.

2. Hey since we're covering stuff that's way old and totes over and done with,,, About that whole Rebecca Watson the Skepchick and Creepy Elevator Guy thing - wow some d00ds are obtuse. PROTIP: It's not about Elevator Guy. See, even if we go into your Nice Guy world and accept everything you believe to be true - you are still wrnog. Sure this means we have to ignore shit like the fact that it was 4 AM. The fact that teh whole thing was in teh context of Skepchick's earlier presentation about not wanting to be hit on and how teh widespread sexualization of female freethinkers probably has something to do with their low turnout at conventions. Wash all of that away and take as gospel truth that Creepy Elevator Guy was totes nice and sincere and not creepy in any way (which BTW is ridiculous). STILL WRNOG.

Teh whole thing has been about your reaction to Watson's mentioning of it at all. Clearly she was upset by it - isn't it at all reasonable for her to say something? Apparently not. All she said was "Guys, don't do that."

Again, at this point no one gives a flying fuck about Elevator Guy. This is about how the community has decided that complaints from women are just naggity-naggity-nag-nag and that they should all just shut teh fuck up. And all that you stupid fucktard Defenders of Teh Bro have been doing is proving their point. And that would be that an awful lot of misogynist bullshit rages mightily across teh atheist community.

3. For Scott Lemieux and other Harry Potter virgins - All Of Harry Potter Re-Enacted By Cats in 1 Minute. Note: SPOILERS. Caveat - about HP, I am not a fan.

4. Apparently I missed the last round of teh Breeder Stakes. Well before I correct that omission, here is a little something so very wrong. And with that done, your Ultra Ninja Update:

An Epic Rant

2011-07-03T21:48:00.000-04:00

Not mine. The main post is about how XBox Live is offering Civil War Uniforms for your avatars, but curiously enough only in gray. The story isn't teh intersting part - although considering that XBox Live is populated by thirteen year old sociopaths who make moar comments about people's mommas than I do - well I suppose there's a chance we'll be hearing about it again soon.

No, the AWESOME part is the first comment on the post.

I'd buy teh @The-Upsetter a martini, but it's crass to drink during a toast to yourself. Maybe the next round, after teh applause dies down.

Open Letter to Callista Newt Gingrich.

2011-06-21T13:31:00.000-04:00

Dear Mrs. Newt Gingrich ~~the third~~,

I understand that your current endeavours have hit a bit of a snag with personnel, but I am delighted to hear that your campaign will continue on. In fact, I am writing to you to offer my services as Campaign ~~Manager~~ Entire Staff Including Administrative Personnel. You can rest assured that I am the right Dragon-King for the jobs, as I understand that the goal of the campaign has nothing to do with merely winning the nomination and the Presidency. This campaign is about Winning the Future with American Solutions *wink wink*. Indeed, all of America knows how Newt behaves when he’s under the stress of an important job and it’s in ~~our best interests~~ the name of the sanctity of marriage that I’ll do my best to ensure that situation never arises. Look at my resumee – I have nevar been part of a winning campaign!

Call me and we can discuss some of the ~~creative ways and ideas~~ I have for official campaign mailers and the potential of doing ~~market research and targetted advertising~~ opinion polling with matching campaign funds.

Yours,

Dragon-King Wangchuck

ImpromtE3

2011-06-10T05:25:00.002-04:00

So I guess we're not still pretending to have been raptured. Someone coulda left me a note.

E3 2011 wrapped up yesterday, and despite all teh leaks, it was a big 'un. All three of the majors had big announcements. Nintendo has a new console, Sony has a new hand-held and teh HaloBox has a new Halo. Following are my Nerdlinger-style Improptu thoughts on it. Get offa mah lawn.

First off, teh Question. Who Won E3 2011? Caveat, I am a Nintendo fanboi - but it's been a good coupla E3's to be such. New console. Nintendo wins.

G4's exclusive coverage? Meh. wev. There is this though, Candace Bailey. Man, some buyer's remorse has gotta be setting in there. Not that Candace sucks - she's definitely brought her own influence onto AOTS. Teh flagship show hasn't crashed and burned and she's doing an admirable job of hosting a five days a week hour of live teevees filled with PENIS jokes. But holee molee she is tote not a G4m3R. For the lead-in to the Sony conference, they had her stand there like a prop whilst Adam Sessler (G4's Elder Statesman) and Jessica Chobot (mmmmm Chobot) talked gaming. Someone with a grudge against Candace must have set that up because wow she was out of her league.

Some observations about Chobot,,, uh,,, she,,, um,,, brb.

Uh, yeah - Chobot wins for her "Kojima is the Peter Molyneux of gaming." That's funneh shit right there. -1 however for being at the announce for a new Sony handheld and not,,, uh,,, well you know*. brb.

Okay, where was I? Right, Sony. Okay, this is for all you "Hardcore" gamers out there - wow you guys suck. Sony's had a pretty bad run coming into E3, so I understand teh need that Team Sony might have to play up any good news but PSVita? I'm sorry but teh thing that's got teh "Hardcore" allupons is dual analog sticks on a handheld device. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. That there is not exactly innovative design. It's not like the PSVita doesn't have any interesting new features (there's a touchpad on the back of the device! An input that you actually can not look at while using!) - the big WIN apparently is dual analog sticks. Fuck you "Hardcore" gamers. Dual analog sticks are not enough to win E3.

While I'm bashing teh 'core gamers (or should I say lamers, amirite!) let's talk about teh new console. WiiU. Jesus fuck, drop it with the whole "DS on teh teevees" bullshit, it's not funny, insightful or even correct. The thing opens up so many new ways of play. You probably didn't notice during Nintendo's reveal, but they loaded that touchpad controller up onto a Wiimote gun controller - as a FUCKING SCOPE. It's like teh ultimate 1337 SNIPERZ peripheral. It's a touch-enabled HUD. Incidentally, dual analog circle pads. But I suppose that since they don't have tiny little sticks poking out, you "Hardcores" aren't interested. Because it's not similar enough to UR tiny little penises. IOW, you have small dicks.

Also note - when we Nintendo fanbois LOL'd at you for Sony's copycat biting with teh Move? You pointed out that even if it was teh case that all teh Move did was turn teh PS3 into an HD Wii, that's pretty fucking awesome. An HD Wii. Well, yeah - you were right (and not only in teh bad proliferation of bowling games). Only now - here's teh actual HD Wii. Suck it Sony.

One other note for teh Hardcore. Drop it. UR smug sense of superiority over teh Casuals &c. That's not teh market anymoar. Not all people with Farmville plots only play Farmville. There's probably someone in your clan that plays Angry Birds. It's probably you. That bullshit divide between Hardcore and Casual is what gives you Microsoft's approach to gaming. XBox is REALLY REALLY interested in Kinecting with ~~your mom~~ Casual gamers and here's a new Halo. That's not a press conference, that's class fucking warfare.

* UPDATE: I guess some of you might not know. Here's some video.

And I guess this is why not.

Homosex Rapture.

2011-05-21T17:25:00.000-04:00

How you doing out there?
Ya ever seem to have one of those days where it just seems like you just can’t get your rocks off the way you like?
That despite all your careful planning and hiding from your wife, at the critical moment you just about run outta time.
Happened to me this very day.
Let me tell you about it!

Strutting to the toupee, all dressed up in drag
Protesting Big Gubmint, with my hairy teabag
Landing at the airport, you know that's my cue
I'm gonna meet the boys in stall number two!

Raptured from the boys' room
Raptured from the boys' room
Saint Peter don’t you feel bad about the new rules
But everybody knows that God thinks homosex ain’t cool.

Checkin' out the halls, makin' sure the coast is clear
Lookin' in the stalls, But pretending not to be queer
Oh, my buddy Ted is gonna bring some meth
I’m gonna have the smell of that cop on my breath!

Raptured from the boys' room
Raptured from the boys' room
Saint Peter don’t you feel bad about the new rules
But everybody knows that God thinks homosex ain’t cool.

All right!
Oh, drivin’ home from work or maybe the local bar
Sent off some texts and put on my fur
But at the moment of glory, I was caught up in the act
No sex for devout Christians and that’s my sad fact.

Raptured from the boys' room (oh yes indeed I was)
Raptured from the boys' room
Saint Peter don’t you feel bad about the new rules
But everybody knows that God thinks homosex ain’t cool.

Once more!
Raptured from the boys' room, woah-ho
Raptured from the boys' room,
Raptured from the boys' room,
Raptured from the boys' room,
Now, hear me, I am fully aware of all the rules
And traditions that say that homosex just ain’t cool!

Happy 2-4 eh?

2011-05-20T10:11:00.000-04:00

Confession Time: I've been a bad lefty leftsist leftard. They're doing construction on the commuter rail tracks I normally ride to get to the office. On the way in it's not too bad, the speed restrictions just mean that I sit on a mostly empty train for twenty extra minutes. Coming home though, my chances of catching the connecting train is zilch which adds 40 minutes of hanging about Union Station in rush hour to my commute home. So I've been driving. No car-pool either, just me, alone in the death-box, burning fossil fuel clear across the city (and, extra, commas, too).

Anyways, that drive basically goes straight across LEAFS SUCK which is usually a shitty shitty drive. Not this morning though. Monday is a holiday and a lot of folks have taken today off to stretch it to a four-day break, so traffic was a lot ligher than usual. Should make up in part for the nightmare that getting home will be, when everybody left in the city takes to the roads to head out for the first cottage week-end of the season.

And on that note, some May 2-4 music (from teh eighties):

In His Defense, He's Newt To This.

2011-05-18T11:31:00.001-04:00

Money quote:
He has appeared on Meet The Press some 35 times alone,,,

Also, too, possibly for Callista-philes a waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop link of note.

On The Road Again

2011-05-11T01:15:00.002-04:00

Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the wee hours of the morning. Other than being with my babby girl and her mom.

Anywho, thanks vs for teh shoutout and opening to revel in trite rhymes and bad meter. Or you can blame SMcGILF (totes heterosexually, of course).

Some snippets:

Poetry, like your mom
Is easy.
Like the storm before the calm,
She rides me.
Your mom is easy.
And we're fornicating.
She is easy.
Easy like Sunday Morning-cating.

Left here for some reason
Perhaps your mom to be pleasin'
Left here for some rhyme
Your dad's ass is sublime,
But what's moar
Yer mom's the whore.

Your father's ass is a popular destination

For sex tourists with a love of degradation.
For the truly depraved, there can be no other,
Except for the whore that's your mother.

Anyways, thanks for the distraction. I guess this round of insomnia is related to being conditioned to wake at around midnight - but I've a plane to catch in six hours, so I really must sleep.

Mother's Day 2011

2011-05-08T09:19:00.000-04:00

I like to think of myself as an expert on moms and AFAIK, teh only thing that moms love almost as much as me is cute videos of cute babbys. Ultra Ninja has cuteness in overwhelming quantities, almost enough to offset the fact that she also inherited at least some of my dorkiness. Here she is LARPing:

How Many More Gay People Does God Have to Create Before We Ask Ourselves Whether or Not God Actually Wants Them Around?

2011-05-05T14:07:00.000-04:00

Click here for the news article or here for the vid.

Dippers, Grits and Tories*

2011-05-01T14:39:00.000-04:00

Election Time!

I was going to write something about our retarded First Past Teh Post bullshit system and Proportional Representation and such. Stuff about 40% majorities and snarky comments like "if PR governments are so unstable, explain why we are going to the polls for the fifth time since 2000."

But with the new polls showing Team Orange stomping teh crap out of teh Liberals I've decided to shelve that rant and instead talk about what might be an actually interesting election.

Polls are showing that Jack Layton has a good shot at Leader of the Opposition. Some are even indicating a potential for a NDP-Liberal coalition, in which case we would be looking at Prime Minister Layton. This is a pretty big deal - it would mark the first ever non-Grit or Tory PM. Closest thing before was Meighen back in WWI winning with a Liberal splinter group (a sort of Blue Dog-Gang of n type thing).

And numbers from opinion polling for Canuckian federal elections tended to be in the neighbourhood of +/- 1% in 2006 and 2008**. Still FPTP in Canada with 4 parties at 10% or more - it does some crazy shit to number of seats won despite share of popular vote. Makes teh Electoral College look downright fair and democratic. Not to mention that Canada doesn't have a one-person-one-vote thing and rural voters often have twice as much voting power as anyone else not in Quebec.

Okay, so a couple of points. Firstly, I don't think Layton could do a worse job as PM than Harper has so far - but it ain't gonna happen. Unless the major vote splitting that occurs is that a lotta Conservative voters vote Liberal to keep Layton from becoming Leader of the Opposition and it backfires giving the NDP the plurality of seats - because there is no way that even a dying Liberal party will sign on to be second fiddle in a coalition government.

Secondly - a dying Liberal party really does make things much more interesting here in the Great White North. One of the things that has kept the NDP from gaining seats is that strategic vote-splitting group that see the Liberals as the only alternative to Canada's own Talibangelicals. But if the NDP manages to grab more seats then the primary reason to vote Liberal is gone. No longer will the Red be the logical alternative to the Blue. This changes the electoral map considerably and the reinventing/rebuilding of "Canada's Natural Governing Party" will have to be pretty darned substantial. Popcorn-a-licious-ness!

But that's for further down the road. What of the upcoming session - the one that we're voting on tomorrow? That all depends on whether Harper ekes out his 155th seat. If he does then it'll be dark times ahead. The Conservative Party doesn't give two shits about it's members, and rightly so. The guy they're running in Lethbridge has decided not to give any interviews or participate in any debates. All he does is go around knocking on doors because he is an absolute disaster of a candidate and can't be trusted in front of media. And he will still most likely hold the riding. There will be no questioning of the harper regime and party discipline will be cultishly strict. At least on the moderate end. A lot of the party discipline problems Harper's had is from the far right whackaloons that he's tried to keep reined in to improve his appeal to the mainstream - but with half a decade of majority rule, he won't have to worry as much. So yeah, Conservative majority would be seriously bad shit for Canada - so bad that I'm not going to contemplate it any further.

Here's my prediction then. Conservatives 140, NDP 80, Liberals 60, Bloc 25, Green 2, Independent 1. This is all hoping for strong voter turnout - a return to the 65% neighbourhood it should be in. Also, that the strong turnout is primarily a result of NDP momentum. We'll see tomorrow.

Post election, Iggy steps down - Bob Rae becomes the new Liberal leader. Harper pivots further to the right and portrays his party as the last bulwark against SOCIALISM! Then tries to re-pivot in two years when a looming confidence vote creeps ever nearer and he realizes that non-Albertan Canadians don't respond to SOCIALISM! the way he expects them to. Hilarity ensues.

Anyways - that is a helluva lotta rambling and blathering just to get my seat predictions in, but there's my guess for what tomorrow holds.

* To balance out teh NDP news for McGravitas, Post Title is from a Moxy Fruvous song. Here's an amateur cover version.

** Seriously. I guess Canadians don't lie to pollsters. Here's 2006 and 2008.

Randian Super Productivity Part 1

2011-04-29T09:50:00.001-04:00

So one of teh primary tenets of Objectivism, at least as I understand it, is something to do with Productivity. How being Productive is some sort of Virtue and is representative of one's worth as a human being - hence the disdain for moochers and idolatry of the super-productive entrpreneurial Galtian übermenschen.

Here's an observation - teh self-financed Atlas Shrugged Part 1 film came in at $20 million to make. Revenues might be as much as one quarter of that.

Also self-financed, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog had a budget of $200,000, or 1% of what teh Galtian Ubermenschen burned through and at least as good revenues. Granted teh actors worked gratis, but by the time they had all been paid by DVD sales, total revenues were still way under $20 million. Atlas Shrugged Part 1 has so far raked in marginally higher box office reciepts than Clerks did, but Clerks was made for around $28,000. I'm not even going to mention Blair Witch.

My Generation's Reaching Out For You*

2011-04-26T05:18:00.000-04:00

SOCIALISM!

We got our phone call from Toronto Public Health to see how things were going. They phone all new parents and "interview" them to make sure they're raising the kids in the Government Approved Prescribed Method**. I was talking about it to the mother-in-law who explained how things went back in the day. Public Health made house calls. To every home with a new baby. They didn't ask to be let in, they just flashed their "badges", barged in and inspected your baby for signs of abuse. The State wasn't acting like a nanny, it was acting like you were the nanny of their child.

Tea Party people are, by and large, geezers. They are from generations before mine, from the Olden Days when Government actually acted in the ways they claim it does now.

Maybe it's really different south of the border. Maybe you guys really do have some sort of massive Creeping Socialism thing going on. But I doubt it. Don't get me wrong, it's certainly true that the current Administration is making some pretty broad and sweeping claims to power. Suspension of habeas corpus, warrantless wiretapping, the things being done in the name of the Struggle With The Existential Threat To Civilization Posed By A Few Unhinged Religious Nutjobs, or whatever they are calling it these days. But,,,

The generation before mine was the one that got drafted to shoot the Viet Cong. The generation before that had McCarthy's witch hunts. Imagine the response to the "grassroots" Tea Party protests if they were held in the fifties.

We laugh at blue laws now, but for me - it was only twenty years ago that Government decree prevented people from shopping on Sunday. The stories I hear about the hoops one had to go through in order to purchase alcohol back then make my head spin.

All a part of that arcing moral universe bending towards justice and whatnot.

Now if the complaints against Government were that the arc was bending too slowly - that we aren't doing enough to get to that just society where people are judged by the contents of their character - then I am all in. In fact, my words to the "Moral Universe" are "Get Bent".

But that's not what Tea Partiers and conservatives in general are saying. They aren't calling for progressive changes, they aren't clamoring for moving with that arc. They are pining for the Olden days - when there wasn't as much SOCIALISM! - only that Government intruded much moar deeply and into way moar areas of your life.

Here's what I'm saying (although I recognize no one that needs to hear it is going to be reading this blog) - you are now more Free than you ever have been***. It's a bit clouded for the Tea Partiers since everything they want to do are the socially and legally mandated behaviours, but being prevented from doing things that you probably weren't going to anyways is still a loss of Freedom.

In closing, my baby is UNBELIEVABLY ADORABLE! SHE IS THE BESTEST THING IN TEH UNIVERSE (even if her hand is too small for my bourbon glass).

* Title from this song which I may have posted before, but this video is a newer version.

** Mostly that you're feeding her and that mom is recovering well. Oh, and that you are reciting the correct ideological manifestos**** to her while she sleeps.

*** Offer not valid for Bradley Manning and other Enemies Of The State.

**** This is what I mean. The concept of reading brainwashing materials to a baby as it sleeps is too ludicrous to be considered reasonable satire. Especially by those who read the Bible to their sleeping babies.

Looking Down on Creation

2011-04-20T16:02:00.000-04:00

Now that I am a father, I find myself drifting rightwards and becoming more and more conservative. I'm even thinking of voting for the Communist Party in the next election.

Thnax all for the nice words. Although to be honest, my ecstatically delighted meter was already pretty much overloaded beforehand. I'm so overjoyed that only the impossibly beautiful voice of the tragically doomed can capture it.

I'm only just starting to catch up with what's been happening elsewhere in the world, but I'll be getting back to posting and commenting sometime soon. Even if it is just to spite the zombie.

It's a Girl

2011-04-18T14:22:00.000-04:00

So anyways, that happened.

She's going to have to get used to camera flashes.

Also, BIONIC RIGHT HAND!

Okay, Bipartisanship Doesn't Always Suck

2011-04-12T14:59:00.000-04:00

Best Link Evar.

Three Things I Learned From Paul Ryan

2011-04-11T22:14:00.000-04:00

Well, like everyone else who has commented on Teh Ryan Budget, I am going to start off with Teh Blockquote.

Well, first of all, I think we need to have a fact-based conversation about our budget. We need to get rid of all these accounting tricks, all these budget gimmicks and we`ve got to attack the drivers of our debt.

This from someone who presented his budget not with a CBO score, but with something from teh Heritage Foundation. If you remember Ryan's shadow budget (also titled Teh Path to Prosperity) from last year, he is already pretty well-practiced in giving CBO some ludicrous conditions for analysis but this time around - he didn't present the results of rigging teh game - he just pulled numbers outta his ass. So I guess he did get rid of gimmicks and accounting tricks, by simply ignoring accounting altogether and inventing numbers with no basis in reality whatsoever.

Is that a harsh description of Heritage's analysis? Well, general consensus is that teh Heritage analysis is full of shit - from "unicorn sighting" optimism to unemployment numbers that violate decades of central bank practice. You know, when even teh guys who did the analysis thinks something might be off, you know something might well be off.

Basically, the Ryan Budget isn't really a budget document, but rather a work of Objectivist slash fan-fiction. And while there is no useful information about economics or reality to be gleaned from it, it serves as a window into the Randian Super-Mind. The reaction from Heritage regarding 2.8% unemployment is quite interesting and brings us to our first insight.

"We adjusted the full employment unemployment variable," Beach told Weigel. "Nothing else changes as a result of that, but the employment number changes."

How much adjustment? 1.5% or roughly two and a quarter million jobs. Effect on tax revenues? 0. Effect on GDP and economic growth? 0. i.e. the "number of people working" in the Heritage model is incidental. It doesn't influence anything, it's just spit out afterwards - like an after-thought. IOW, in Objectivist Supply-Side magic unicorn land, EMPLOYMENT DOES NOT MATTER. They have literally said that whether or not there are two and a quarter million people at work or collecting unemployment, there is no effect on the economy. So when the Heritage Foundation makes unfounded claims about job losses, bear in mind that they don't give a shit. According to the Heritage Foundation, jobs have no effect on the economy.

Lesson 2 is about vouchers. In the magic world of conservatardism, Vouchers mean Freedom. In this case it's the Freedom to Die From Easily Treatable Medical Conditions, but that is a type of Freedom that you'll have to pry from the cold dead hands of Tea Party People - and by then it will be TOO LATE. Teh Ryan Medicare Plan is to replace teh EVIL gubmint Medicare with vouchers. You'll be able to use your vouchers to purchase the private health insurance of Your Own Choosing and not As Dictated By Some Bureaucrat - SOCIALISM! RATIONING! This totally follows standard supply-side reasoning - vouchers are bettar because it puts more power and choice in the hands of the consumer, plus private enterprise gets to do the job instead of brutally inefficient and immorally coercive Big Government.

So what's the Lesson? The vouchers are only for people under 55. Anyone 55 or older stays on the old system.

There are two possible explanations for this:

1. Paul Ryan hates old people and thinks they should be exluded and denied the Freedom to Choose their own health care coverage. Maybe because he thinks they are all senile idiots who would squander the Freedom he is offering. If so, this isn't age-induced senility, because the people who will have to deal with the magic vouchers will be old by the time they have to use them.

2. Medicare vouchers are not as good as the existing system. Government-run socialistic Medicare is better than vouchers for private-run insurance. IOW - health care, at least for seniors, is better managed by some huge central bureacracy. Now intelligent folk may already know that to be true, but this isn't a statement about what is and what is not. This is a statement about what Paul Ryan thinks, or at least what his budget says about the way he thinks.

There's the real framing on these Medicare reforms. Either teh GOP hates seniors, or not only are they cutting Medicare - but they also acknowledge that health care is better run by the government.

Thirdly, and finally for this analysis - it's the claim about whether or not Tax Cuts Pay For Themselves. Here's the Heritage Report. Appendix 3 presents the numbers. Remember that we are now playing in teh world of magic supply-side sparkleponies - the unadjusted 2.8% unemployment, plus 150 billion dollar per year average growth miracle world of Randian Super Awesome. Net difference with magic sparkleponies over ten years? $325 billion dollars. BUT, and I cannot lie - this is a big BUT, personal income tax is up $680 billion. That works out to thousand dollars per man, woman and child in the US. IOW, the tax cut shifts roughly One Trillion Dollars worth of tax burden from corporations to people.

Hertitage has people taking home an additional $935 billion dollars over ten years. Wait - that's before taxes. After-tax it's plus $255 billion. Still, that's net plus, so obviously the tax cuts are paying for themselves. Well, kinda. That's plus 255 on a base of 97,000 (averaged over 10 years) or a quarter of a percent. A quarter of a percent over ten years. IOW, no difference at all. BUT, corporate after-tax profits go up by $400 billion on $1,300 billion or a whopping 30.7%. Over one hundred times the benefit that households see. Even the most blood-thirsty and sadistic of pirates would have moral qualms about this level of looting.

So the answer is actually no. Even in the Heritage Foundation magical supply-side universe where a Galtian Perpetual Money Machine constantly pumps dollars into the economy without end, Tax Cuts Do Not Pay For Themselves. They Pay Their Corporate Overlords.

Note: CBO has scored the Ryan Budget (in this pdf), and it ain't pretty. Even after slashing trillions of dollars of spending, the ten-year effect on the deficit is marginal. And any gains after that are heavily influenced by the cancelling of Medicare. In this case it's not teh Tax Cuts, but rather the total gutting of Medicaid and CHIP that produce Big Fat Corporate Profits.

UPDATE: Why I've Been So Quiet

2011-04-10T11:14:00.000-04:00

Today was our due date, so I've been kinda busy getting things organized - both at home and at work. That plus I am making a concerted effort to not think about anything at all, so it's been a lot of mindless distractions for me. On a related note, I now have my Solomon's Keep Hardcore Demigod achievement (Flame Lash, with no +all skills items).

Anyways, it looks like Ultra Ninja is going to be later than expected, so anxiety and pins and needles and so forth for the next few days &c. I've got some ideas buzzing around my head re: the Ryan budget that I'm starting to have trouble ignoring, so maybe I'll get to committing them to blog post. It'll depend on whether 'Lil Ultra interrupts sooner or later.

Helping John Galt Part 1

2011-03-26T10:50:00.001-04:00

via Mark D.

From what I understand, John Galt got together a bunch of extraordinary individuals and left civilization in order to form a new society. One free from the meddling and interference of repressive government and formed with his ideology as shaping fundamental priciples. Witht hat in mind, I present my entry.

The Marquee de Sad

2011-03-18T19:49:00.000-04:00

I am told that the marquee is a very important thing for blogs to have. Teh Union Thug was stoleded from this guy.

Even Michael Jackson

2011-03-17T00:00:00.001-04:00

The one day of the year when everybody's Irish. Ergo, the Irish are everybody. And on that note, here are a pair of Jackson covers from part-Irish-part-Asian-all-awesome musicians.

Dinner Blogging - I Ruined Paella Again

2011-03-12T21:03:00.000-05:00

This was dinner tonight:

Paella. Well, not really as my approach to this traditional dish is blasphemous. Firstly, as you can see, I don't have a paella pan. Second, I had to customize the dish removing any excess salt, heat and tomato. Third and most heinous, I stir the bleeding thing.

Now that the purists have stormed of in anger, it's confession time. I make paella so infrequently that I don't have bomba on hand, so I use arborio. I can't even get the rice right for a rice dish! Also, I didn't know I'd be doing a post about dinner, so I really only have after pictures. Anyways, good excuse to cook paella again - so I can get some WIP photos.

My pan? Stainless steel flat bottomed frying pan. Well actually it's got a layer of aluminum sandwiched in the bottom to even out heat distribution, so it's actually quite paellera-like. Perhaps one day I'll get a real pan, but it's way down the list.

No tomato sofrito? This was going to be a problem, fortunately my blatant disregard for tradition allowed me to figure something out - a different flavour profile. I was cooking this thing because we had leftover cooked chicken breasts and we found those lovely rock lobster tails at the store. Knowing what was going into the dish, I replaced the olive oil and sausage drippings with bacon fat (this accounted for most of the salt added to the dish) and slowly cooked down the onions. Keeping the heat at low-medium got them nice and golden just like they do in chorizo drippings. Garlic went in at the same time as the rice and I used a low-sodium chicken stock.

Here's the blasphemy. I add only part of the stock at the beginning and stir the thing occassionally as it cooks. Arborio and stirring? Why didn't I just make risotto? Because the lobster tails. P.S. I are jealous of you people with access to good fresh seafood. March in LEAFS SUCK means that they were frozen tails. Here it is coming off the heat - and yes that is an electric stove I'm on. A major kitchen reno is also on the list.

The asparagus I ended up steaming directly on top of the paella. A one-pan dinner - although you do have to remember to soak it on account of the socarrat. I know what you're thinking - what socarrat you evil stirring motherfucker! Well, the proof of the puddin's is in the eatin's.

A little bit closer.

Here it is on the pan.

How was it? Fucking delicious, but flawed. My first inclination was to go with corn instead of peas, but I bowed to tradition and kept the green vegetable despite knowing I was going to have aspargus beside it. Don't get me wrong, the peas were good - but corn would have been better. Also, the rock lobster tails were over-cooked, but they started off as frozen anyways so I'm not too broken up about it.

Anyways, the reason I'm writing this is for the following notes to self:
1. Fuck tradition and go with your instincts.
2. Try harder to find good fresh seafood.
3. Build yourself a new kitchen.

Veiled PENIS Reference

2011-02-28T20:46:00.000-05:00

Keep a lookout for ORBS at 2:18!

First Through Five Millionth Read - What Does The Tea Party Think?

2011-02-26T23:12:00.000-05:00

Y'all remember this latest bit on American stupidity? Well a Plum Line post has brought to my attention that the First Read folks at MSNBC have used the findings for a bit of introspection

Folks, the law HAS NOT been repealed. As we said when yet another poll showed a sizable portion of the American public thinking that -- incorrectly -- President Obama is a Muslim, everyone deserves blame here. The politicians. The citizenry. And especially the news media. We aren't doing our jobs when the populace is this misinformed. As a collective, look at how the court decisions striking down the health law get covered vs. the decisions to uphold it. And then look at the conservative media outlets and their coverage of this issue.

The conservative media outlets.

PROTIP for MSNBC - They are ALL conservative media outlets, MSNBC included. Proof? That bit of introspection comes in a long list of other observations, it's one of those "here's all the interesting stories" posts. What are the other intersting stories?
- Lead-off, the 2012 GOP battle - who will be the next Presidential Candidate (R)?
- Next most important story - What Does The Tea Party Think?
- Who is running.
- Who isn't running.
- What Does The Tea Party Think? SRSLY, not a typo - two of their first five points are about the Tea Party's reaction to the 2012 preznit nomination battle.
- Something about Wisconsin.

That's your lie-beral-est lefty news org there.

So yeah, tailor your news coverage to appeal to the moron idiots that make up the Tea Party people - and quelle surprise, they end up not getting informed at all! When all you talk about are people who despise Obamacare with all of their shrivelled and ignorant little hearts - it's no wonder most of America thinks Obamacare has already been repealed.

Bollywood Music With Irish Fiddle - METAL VERSION

2011-02-19T22:54:00.001-05:00

Is it really always okay to post a music video?

I'm not exactly cutting edge when it comes to music so Delhi2Dublin is new to me. If they're new to you too, then you are in for a treat. Anyways, here's the song I am currently obsessed with:

I LOVE BOOBIES*.

2011-02-18T20:34:00.001-05:00

Thoughts stemming from an argument I'm having with T&U at teh Mothership. Here's teh basis.

I have now waded through both the Blag Hag guest post and clarification as well as the Angel of Harlots reply and Update^2 and the Butterflies and Wheels post. For me the audio on the YouTube has been replaced by classical music. WTF?!

Here's my read on what happened. Some atheist guys think that if a girl is also an atheist, they are totes "fair game". Not "fair game" as in okay to hit on sense, but "fair game" in the treat them as huntable animals sense. Some atheist women think this is fucked up bullshit that needs to stop. Some atheist guys agree. Some atheist guys think that the offended women are being oversensitive and should just get over it. Some atheists guys think that they totes aren't treating women like animals - that they are just following their biology. Some people think those atheist guys are full of shit.

D-KW's Pronouncements About Atheist Pear-gate

1. d00d, you share some interests with that girl, that's great. You want to ask her out - go ahead. But No means No. Don't hound her. Don't harass her. If she's not interested - she is not interested. Also too, staring at b00bies is only okay when you have permission or are watching teh interjizz pr0ns. Look, I likes teh BOOBIES too. Lots. But if you are face to face with someone - be face to face.

Here's a bit to halp you to understand - imagine someone staring at your package while you are talking to them. No eye contact, they are just constantly staring at your crotch. Now imagine if that someone was your mom**. Fucking weird huh? Gross and creepy. That's kinda how those women feel.

PROTIP - just because you find them attractive, that doesn't meant the feelings are necessarily reciprocated. Not to say that you are hideous, although if you need this advice, you are at least a little bit hideous. There could be any number of reasons apart from your boorish and creepy behaviour that's turning them off.

2. Fuck you with your "biological imperative" bullshit. You know what? Thems womens are feeling threatened by you, and it would be following their "biological imperative" to kill you. Huh, not such a grate argument no mores is it?

3. Are the hypersensitive feminists over-reacting? WHO FUCKING CARES? They are upset and hurt and creeped out and frustrated and THESE FEELINGS ARE REAL. You don't have to understand them, I don't have to understand them, even the women going through them don't have to understand them. It's not rocket science here. It doesn't matter if their responses are justified or not (although from the evidence I've been able to check out, I would say they are). Really it doesn't make no nevermind. Stop trying to argue about it.

Seriously. Does. Not. Matter. When you are told, plainly and simply that what you are doing is causing pain - then you stop. Otherwise you either don't give a shit about the folks you are hurting or you think they are lying (although I suppose there's the option that you are a sadistic shitbag that likes hurting others - but I like to believe that conservatives don't read my blog).

If it's case 1. and you don't care, well then you're a fucking asshole - and not in the good way. Get some help. Really. Unhealthy behaviour. Sign of psychopathy. Very Not Good. If it's case two and you think you're being trolled - that people are claiming to be hurt as some sort of powerplay - you had better hope to whatever higher power you don't believe in that you are right, because otherwise you just flagged yourself as a sociopathic asshole over a hunch. Also what one might think of as irrational behaviour.

5. The number 4 is unlucky.

6. What about the feelings of the men? It hurts to be called a chauvinist pig just because you're socially inept and have a fondness for BOOBIES. Yeah, your feelings are real too. But unless you can articulate them, express what your issues are - what the fuck is anyone supposed to do about them? And that's where the whole adult discussion part takes place. And sometimes your feelings are not that important. That you feel put upon for having to not stare at the hot chick - and yes this is despite the fact that she obviously spent a lot of time and effort to make herself so attractive - not as important as her feeling like she is going to be molested. Thems the breaks. Don't leer.

7. But those feelings are real too. Guys get frustrated all the time about all sorts of stuff. And the feeling of resentment at all of womankind is a real thing that some guys experience from time to time. Not unlike how sometimes some women sometimes have a real resentment towards all men. And, at least in my opinion, it does not matter if those feelings are rational or justified. Does. Not. Matter.

I'm not trying to even imply that women should put up with getting ogled. That's just dumb. I'm just pointing out that the folks in the position of privilege are still human beings with real feelings and if you really think "tough shit, I don't care a whit if those privileged jerkwads are upset" then you are also in the fucking asshole group.

8. So that should be the basis for the conversation. Yeah, here I am idealistically suggesting that people should honestly and openly discuss their feelings and reactions to stuff and then figure out how to go forward together. Requires that all sides engage honestly and with respect for each other.

This is why I had to admit error in that argument with T&U. Read through the Pharyngula thread and look out for Attendee. The existence of Men's Rights Advocates wrecks it. T&U called them douchebags, but douchebags are way more useful. We're talking about damaged people who have a world-view that is unmoored from reality. They literally can not comprehend that evidence discrediting their ideology can be real. Must be part of a conspiracy. They are the Young Earth Creationists of gender relations. Only difference is that Creationists are motivated by their unwavering devotion to God and MRA's are motivated by their hatred of women. It's not a plus for them. And they poison the well and make intelligent discussions about stuff like this impossible or very near to it.

* This is true. I do love BOOBIES. And maybe it is part of a cowardly and cheap ploy to keep intelligent women from reading this post and then challenging me on my beliefs. Then again maybe it's a trigger alert of it's own, warning that the post contains its fair share of chauvinism.

** This is true too, your mom stares at my package all the time.

This is Mutiny, Mr. Delgadio.

2011-02-12T16:38:00.002-05:00

The Mothership has had quite the run of EPIC threads recently. In one of them, Substance McGravitas made an excellent observation.

First, teh obvious:

Sadly, the guy in the original is much wider than sexy shirtless gay pirate d00d and you can still see some puke-y green in the bottom left corner. That's when I was reminded about how sometimes, simplicity is the best solution. Also, the stern eagle head used as a gravatar by truculentandunreliable's first troll. I'm not sure what this image says, but it says it with the Voice Of Patriotism.

Fuck You Friday

2011-02-11T18:49:00.000-05:00

To commemorate zrm's new tradition I'm offering my own Fuck You Friday. Incidentally, also about wind turbines.

FUCK YOU DALTON MCGUINTY. FUCK YOU SO MUCH THAT THE LARGE ARRAY WAKE EFFECT IS NOTICEABLE.

Ontario is canning all offshore wind. There is something like a gigawatt of offshore wind projects currently in various stages of development. At least one turbine manufacturer was so interested that they were considering moving their offshore turbine manufacturing to Ontario. Kiss all of that good-bye.

This is the same government that was going to close all of our coal plants by 2007. The plan now (and there is actual legislation mandating it) is a 2014 closure. I dunno where they're going to find a gigawatt of power generation to replace the offshore they aren't going to build.

Remember this from last year? The thing about being a leader in wind power? Apparently only if someone else does it first.

The Long-Term Energy Plan is to have 10 GW in wind/solar/biogas by 2018. We're currently at something like two and half. Good Luck hitting that target when you drop bombshells like "no offshore in Ontario - period" with no warning whatsoever.

Seriously, no warning at all. A lot of the work I do is with wind farms and no one I know had any clue this was coming down the pipe. Notice the timing of the announcement - 2 PM Friday afternoon. Not on the front page of the Ontario website, but buried as a small text-only link in the newsroom. Not even a Top Story.

Why? You'd think that they would want to trumpet this announcement so that all the NIMBY's and anti-wind folks would hear. Because the plan is not to reduce the amount of wind energy to be installed. That means moar onshore turbines.

Ontario's capacity for renewables generation is limited by the transmission network - meaning new generation has to come online either very close to where the coal plants are being shut down or close to load centres. So that gigawatt of wind power they won't be building in Lake Ontario or Lake Erie is instead going to be built - I don't know where. But it's gotta be close to where people live.

That's why they've buried the news. This announcement is bad for both sides of the wind power argument.

So why are they doing it?

Because they are fucking cowards. Dickless dipshits. Spineless babies that are scared shitless. Cowards. Stupid ones at that.

They are pre-emptively killing an industry because "freshwater" wind power is too new. SRSLY - that's the entire fucking reason for it. They are scared of some nebulous un-explainable something or other. Because apparently, freshwater is somehow more risky than anchoring steel towers in the fucking ocean. You would think that people living in Ontario would have an understanding of the relationship between salt and corrosion, but apparently not the fucking gutless geniuses that make up the Ontario gubmint.

FUCKAWESOME. Way to go there assholes. I don't think you could have done anything more wrong.

Rules

2011-02-02T08:18:00.000-05:00

This probably isn't necessary, but wev. Anyways, I was thinking a bit about rules and such and realized that I haven't any for this little corner of the blogosphere that I call my own. Well, I guess it's long past time to correct that oversight.

Copyright.

Some people make their living on writing, some people make their careers on their creative output. I'm not one of those people. So, my position on any rights I retain to my stuff on this blog are as follows:
1. Don't pass my stuff off as someone else's, especially your own.

That's it. You want to use anything I've written? Fine, just do not claim that it's yours. You've somehow managed to figure out a way of converting one of my ideas into cash? That's awesome. Drop me a line, maybe I can think up some other potentially profitable ideas. Or don't. I won't be sending you a C&D letter or a demand for "my cut", unless you are trying to pass my stuff off as your own. Even then, it's likely I won't be arsed to do anything - but I do reserve that right, in case I get the urge to.

You don't even have to credit me. I'm fine with "some guy on the web" as an attribution. Or "something I saw somewhere". Just don't credit anyone else for my stuff.

This applies whether or not I agree with what you are using my words for. If you happen to represent a movement or cause that I personally find abhorrent and use something I wrote here to further your goals - fine. Just be aware that if I do find out, I will make the effort to mock and ridicule you. Either that or I will stop having sex with your mom, and then she'll get all cranky and mean - plus she'll have lots of extra free time to check in on how you are doing.

Exceptions - if a post is excepted from this rule, I will make a note of it in the post.

Corollary - don't attribute stuff I'm not responsible for to me.

Comments.

Your comments are your own. I'm not going to raise a ruckus if someone steals one of your comments off of this blog.

I reserve the right to do whatever I want with comments submitted here, but to be honest, I haven't been bothered to find out what that consists of or how I'd go about doing it. Basically my comment policy is to remain such a small and insignificant blog that I never have to worry about spam or truly offensive trolleries.

These policies are subject to change whenever I'm motivated enough to do something about them. Like institute a totalitarian comment moderation scheme that disallows any criticism of myself or Patti Ann Browne. But Groundhog Day 2011 is not the first day of that regime.

Sputnik of the Union - DRINK!

2011-01-25T20:39:00.001-05:00

via Rusty Cahoots

Just read that Mohammedan BOGUS POTUS HUSSEIN Obambi is going to talk about the FIVE PILLARS that he is going to implement during his State of The Union speech.

I'll give you one pillar - MC'ing.

My fellow Americans, the State of the Union is strong DRINK
Motherfucker is gonna be leading all night long
Yoo can't be bringing that shit in here
Bipartisanship DRINK, now drink your beer.
This SOTU is the go to I'll show you what to do Boehner
'Sup no boohoos while I bring on the Presidential voodoo
The economy is finally growing
The Dow is upwardly going
Foreclosures are slowing
People are knowing
The green starting to roll in
It's fiduciary hanky panky, mad props to Bernanke.
The State of the Union is strong DRINK
Motherfucker is on like Donkey Kong
Any geezers in here remember Sputnik?
Who fucking cares about Sputnik - the fifties, she is over.
But it's like a metaphor
To end this letter war
We need to getter more
Closer.
My friends across the aisle DRINK
Let's put aside the vitriol
And have some alcohol DRINK
Your dicks are small
But we need to move forwar together you gotta push

The State of the Union is strong DRINK
Wait a bit while I take a hit from this bong
Something something entrepreneurs
Innovation is the secret to whores
And coke on demand
It's part of the plan
To revolutionize
Make a change nothing's strange
People people we are the same
No we are not the same
Cause we don't know the game

Sputnik!DRINK

[musicality ensues]

What is the State is the Union? STRONG - DRINK
Motherfucker ain't nevar wrong
Check out my flow
We need zip to go
Clean energy you know
No more oil greed
With the sun and the wind and the appleseed
And don't be tools
Stay in school
It ain't cool
To be an illiterate fool
Right Tea Party People? uh....

The State of the Union is strong DRINK
And before I bid y'all a "so long"
The Deficit is Too Damn High DRINK
Touch the sky, we all gonna die
Before it's paid
So spending is daid
That's whut I said.
The cheddar don't get bettar
The cheese is gonna freeze
And also too DRINK a word about foreign affairs
They are hawt.

Sputnik! DRINK

God bless these United States of America

I'm Sorry Trig.

2011-01-21T01:05:00.000-05:00

via McGravitas.

I aborted a couple of attempts at dragging out teh lulz, but a guy can only edit ORLY's unique visage so much before he must stop - so I was left with a some half-assed chintz that I couldn't make myself fiddle with anymore. That's when it came to me - some times (especially for n00bs like me) simple is best. Here are the words of inspiration:

What out retarded members of the media do? ,,,they started torturing my pictures to the point of me being unrecognizable. I am wondering how far this media retardation can go?

And with that, I apologize to Trig.

Love Thy Father And Mother

2011-01-18T20:17:00.002-05:00

Someone would like to portray himself as the master.

Your dad grows potatoes up his bum,
About tubers, he thinks “Yum!”
Starchy anuses make him cum
But he’s totes vanilla compared to your mum.

The men who have fucked your dad in the ass,
Is a number that very few will surpass.
He’s been had by every Hairy Dicked Tom,
But still by fewer than have fucked your mom.

Your dad’s prostate is sore and bruised
From all the rough ways it has been used.
He’s a downright skanky old bear,
But a model of virtue considering ta mère.

Your dad, when he’s really in luck
Has Yorkshiremen give his butt a fuck.
“Luxury!” he screams as his ass gets raw
But he’s a prude compared to your ma.

Your dad eats shit for the win,
That’s why he has that grin.
But the frothy mixture known as Santorum
Is much better suited to the whore that’s your mum.

UPDATE: Yes, there's moar.

Your dad’s ass is wider than you think,
Wider even than your favourite link
It can contain multitudes and then some,
But not quite as much as that whore, your mom.

Your daddy loves guys on construction sites
To fill up his hole and his nights.
But while he fucks those men again,
Your mom’s playing hide the crane.

And your dad goes nearly bezerk
As those men go about their work,
“MOAR MOAR” he stammers,
As your mom rides the jackhammers.

All those men your dad has laid,
But it’s your mom that’s the one that gets paid.
Because all he does is scream for MOAR
But your mom, she’s the whore.

Sunday Audition: Official Hiatus

2011-01-16T07:33:00.000-05:00

I know these faux op-eds have gotten rarer and rarer. My original intention was to have some sort of regular post thing that would keep me from ignoring teh blog for too long. That didn't work out all that well.

More to the point, Abe Foxman's pathetic condemnation of Sarah Palin has killed it for me. I am incapable of satire in light of the ADL statement. I mean, I suppose I could have come up with a more outrageous and hypocritical bit of justification (although it would have taken some serious effort) but I never could have matched the sheer obscene ridiculousness of it in context.

So I'm giving it up. At least for now. Some day I may come back to trying to match George Will's dishonesty or Richard Cohen's hilariousness, but I don't see that day coming soon.

Moqtada al-Sarah

2011-01-15T10:09:00.000-05:00

4 B^4

Poems About d00ds with PENIS Issues

2011-01-14T14:35:00.005-05:00

UPDATE: h/t to T&U for theme and jim for the structure of poem 2.

FavRondeau

Hey baby, give me your number,
I’ll send you pics of my lumber,
Saying No would be the meanest
So, Sweetheart show me you’re keenest
To tease the panther from slumber.

Girl, don’t act like you are dumber
You know which pipe needs this plumber
Send me a text and the scene is
Sexily set.

So Sweetcheeks, I need your number.
My pants I will unencumber.
And soon what you’ll be seeing is,
Hi res photos of my PENIS
My thick and juicy cucumber.
Yours Truly, Brett.

Villanelle for a Villain

His was a tiny thing,
So he used his Glock,
In the photo with the red G-string.

He thought he was The King,
With his surrogate cock,
In the photo with the red G-string.

And he’d fap that ding-a-ling,
Into an ankle sock.
His was a tiny thing.

And while he caused suffering,
All his thoughts
Were with the photo of the red G-string.

What if words have no meaning?
His world was rocked,
His was a tiny thing.

So he went on a killing,
Over meaningless talk.
His was a tiny thing
In the photo with the red G-string.

Note: Line 8 in FavRondeau was fixxored after original posting.

Point of Clairfication

2011-01-14T00:02:00.000-05:00

I do not, nor have I ever before in the past worked for the FBI.

For Smut

2011-01-12T09:09:00.000-05:00

For Smut.

Once upon your mom I laboured, ploughing her the way she favours,
Our writhing bodies passionately entwined
While her ass I was busy tapping, suddenly there came a rapping
As of someone quietly fapping, fapping at our heaving behinds
"'Tis the audience" I muttered, fapping un-til they go blind
Flattering they're too kind.

Then your mom, so beguiling looked upon the queue and smiling
At the patient crowd standing neatly all aligned
"Though my snatch be shorn and shaven, you" she said "should stop that wavin'
"You'll need your spunk for when you're layin' so save that jism and don't unwind
"For it's on that milk of kindness that I'd like to dine,,,"
Spurt spurt spurt, quoth your mom "Nevermind."

Loughner

2011-01-11T10:07:00.000-05:00

A potential political assassination leaving six dead any more wounded and the first thing we hear from the right (after finding out the shooter wasn't brown) is outrage about how people are politcizing the event. It was a political event.

The second thing we hear is about how Loughner isn't a Tea Party d00d, he's a deranged psycho nutcase. In fact he ain't even a conservative! He's a pot smoking, flag burning, Communist Manifesto reading leftsist. (And Mein Kampf too, the most liberal lefty book written since Jonah Goldberg said it was).

There are actually delusional idiots who are saying that this is payback for Giffords' symbolic anti-Pelosi vote.

Nevermind the deranged rants about the Gold Standard. Nevermind the obsession with declaring anything he dislikes as being "not in the Constitution". Nevermind the Ayn Rand book also on his list. Clearly a leftsist.

These idiots are completely missing the point. Loughner is a deranged paranoid delusional. Possibly schizophrenic, possibly a host of assorted crazy, possibly a victim of the government's grammar based mind-control experiments. Anyways, crazy-go-nuts bonkers woohoo woohoo ooga booga boo. It doesn't matter if he's a conservative loonytoon or a liberal loonytoon, he's a demented individual.

Loughner's politics don't matter to the criticism being levelled at the voices of conservatism right now. The problem and complaint is that too many on the right have been wallowing in violent rhetoric - in responding to every last slight as yet another rallying cry for WAR! Tip of the hat to the apparently gracious Bouffant who seems to have a magic index card for the memory hole, and is reminding us all of what that rhetoric was.

When you use gun sights to target people, with the chant of "Don't Retreat, Instead - RELOAD" that says something. And to people who are suffering from paranoid delusions, it says something pretty large. Incidentally, reloading was what Jared Loughner was doing when he was finally stopped.

Don't kid yourselves conservatives. Go ahead and search all you want for the scraplings of violently angry lefty comments - the basic fact is that it's the right that constantly wallows in gun culture and mindless devotion to all things military and related to war.

But I'm a lefty liberal loonie. Free Speech is one of those important concepts for me. Maybe this is a good time to talk about what reasonable limits on that are, like yelling Fire! in a crowded theatre or libel or more relevantly, hate speech and the incitement of violent crime. But those are contentious points and society redraws the lines defining those categories everyday. Perhaps this tragic incident will put a bit more emphasis the line marking "incitement of violent crime". But I can understand how a rational person might see that as a negative, even now.

Instead, what I'd like to address is something that shouldn't be contentious or controversial at all right now. MBouffant again (days if not weeks ahead of me on this one) gets to the point. I think we're pretty much all agreed that Loughner is seriously mentally disturbed and could have used some professional psychiatric help and possibly pharmaceutical treatment. This attack clearly shows that providing treatment for mental illness is a societal good, it's a strong argument in favour of government funded mental health.

I admit that I am not a fan of Obama's final Health Care Reform package, but credit where due - mental health and treatment for addiction are both part of the Essential Benefits package. The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act has endorsements from the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association Practice Organization, Mental Health America, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, and who knows how many others. In the wake of yet another senseless attack on civilians by a mentally disturbed individual, perhaps we can all agree on the need to treat these people, regardless of who's on the hook for the bill, before incidents like this happen.

Who Are You To Doubt What An Optomaloogest Thinks Things Look Like?

2011-01-10T10:53:00.002-05:00

UPDATE: Herr Doktor has much sharper eyes than I. The embarrassing spelling mistake in the title of this post has been corrected to 20/20.

Steve Benen at Wash Monthly has a problem with Rand Paul's take on Jared Lee Loughner:

Rand Paul, in other words, isn't qualified to diagnose mental disorders by reading some stuff on the Internet. He shouldn't pretend otherwise.

I gotta disagree here. Rand Paul certainly is an expert on paranoid delusions.

Condolences

2011-01-08T16:58:00.000-05:00

My thoughts are with the people of Tucson, Arizona.

My Second Photoshop

2011-01-08T12:44:00.000-05:00

At the rate I'm going, it'll be Raptor Jesus before spring! Anyways, my tribute to Mickey Mantle (yes, I know the bottle has feet).

Confession Time - Look How Nicely It Fits In My Hand

2011-01-06T21:06:00.000-05:00

I guess folks who have been following my assorted rantings at Teh Mothership probably have a good idea of who I am, but I thought that perhaps I'd unload a bit more about who I actually am.

First, this is my glass - see how nice it fits in my hand!

Secondly, like a lot of other bloggers, I have a pet. A red eared slider that I wanted to name Little A'Tuin or Pin Hole Gamera, but he already had a name when I met him. This is Max:

He's ready for his close-up now.

Okay, maybe not.

Anyone still here? Well if you've been paying close attention, you'll know that I got married about nine and a half months ago. Your exciting new fact is that my wife's pregnant. We're probably going to beat vaccuumslayer to the delivery room by five or six weeks.

Finally, my first totally n00bish step on the road to lurning Photoshop has been taken. Here's a window to my soul:

Happy New Years!

2011-01-01T22:17:00.000-05:00

Resolutions:
1. Now that 2010 is over, I've got my first calendar year tally of posts. Ninety-two. So for 2011, I resolve to post marginally more often. I'm going to break 100 for 2011.
2. Generally, be AWESOME.
3. Lurn Photoshop, but only at an incredibly basic level. Enough to start pasting sammiches into images of random conservative bloggers and pundits. Considering how lazy I am, expect to see my first work of vandalism in December.
4. Do your mom.
5. Pull "I'm With Alison" off before Candace starts her gig. I'm still with Alison but there really ought to be a limit to WATB-antics. And Candace already has a steep enough uphill road to travel. Plus it's probably what Alison would want anyways, she's so classy and professional. BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT ALISON WAS ROBBED.

Top 10 of 2010

2010-12-31T09:03:00.001-05:00

It's that time of year again. The retrospective look back at the past twelve months - and of course in the standard Top Ten format.

Unfortunately, I wrote the definitive Top Ten List last year so this time I'm actually going to have a topic. And since I didn't officially Air Any Grievances this holiday season:

Top Ten Disappointments of 2010 (although with my memory and attention span it's more like Top 8 Disappointments from the past four weeks and maybe a couple others)

10. Barack Obama. I know he never claimed to be Liberal Jesus - that he was always a compromise seeker and consensus builder. And he did get some stuff done. Still, for a guy who so thoroughly captured the entire world's attention - who truly seemed like a tranformative figure - he certainly didn't seem to be personally involved in pushing forward his agenda. Well except to tell the dirty fucking hippies to grow up and bend over. There's stuff he's done specifically too that will be getting their own numbers.

9. Accountability for G20 violations. On the part of the police. The LEAFS SUCK police separtment has a special watchdog called the Special Investigations Unit. The SIU looked into allegations of use of excessive force during the G20 protests and found clear evidence of it. Reasonable grounds to proceed with criminally investiagting police officers for violating the law. No charges will be laid and no investigation will proceed. Why? Because the police are unco-operative. Let me be as clear as possible on this. There is "reasonable grounds" to believe that excessive force was used - that a crime was in fact committed - and in the case involving Adam Nobody - with a minimum of five police officers present as witnesses. No investigation is being conducted because the police refuse to answer questions. Fuck.

8. The Healthcare Sellout. This still bothers me. And if you've got a problem with that - if you're thinking the words "perfect the enemy of the good", then Fuck You. Hey, all those imperfect flaws that had to be included but could be fixed later on? It's been a year - are there any plans on how those fixes might happen?

7. Mayor Rob Ford. What a fucking farce. A raftload of candidates more qualified and less batshit bugfuck crazy - all imploded. Even when he was gathering steam and the Anyone But Ford sentiment started crystallizing, what happened? The liberal and progressive candidates moved rightwards to copy Rob. Fucking pathetic.

6. The Tax Cut Sellout. Really? The compromise tax cut plan is the Joe The Plumber plan? Fantastic.

5. The Economy. I don't travel much, but this year I got to spend some time in Oklahoma City. North of the border, we weren't hit nearly as hard by the financial meltdown so I didn't have any understanding of how bad it was until I got to Oklahoma. It's a city that's had it's downtown core completely de-populated and then a small theme park dropped in to replace it. just looking at all those stretches of empty store fronts brought it into focus.

4. The continued acceptance of war crimes in the name of protecting the free world from terrorists. Message for you shitfucks with the solitary confinement, sleep disruption and the whole host of other enhanced interrogation techniques - Private Bradley Manning being the current victim de jour. The inhuman monsters that are a threat to civilization? It ain't the "terrorists".

3. Alison was robbed.

2. Something about your mother. Just kidding, your mom never disappoints.

1. The media. Spineless stenographers? Not even. Stenos at least manually enter the stuff that's dictated at them. Jerkwad douchebag fucking shitstains. But to be fair and balanced, some folks feel that it's only most journalists that are complete wastes of sperm as well as goat-fucking baby murderers - and the rest are worse.

Also, WTF is the criteria to get a regular op-ed spot in the top tier newsrags? It is fucking pathetic the bullshit that gets printed on those op-ed pages. Yeah yeah, yelling at clouds - water is wet - can't fight city hall - talking to a wall - &c. Bullshit op-ed pieces are the heart and soul of newspaper fascism and never will it ever eveer change. Still pisses me off though.

iSuck It Apple Users.

2010-12-29T07:19:00.001-05:00

No, this isn't about how Apple has so comfortably grown into it's gaint multinational pants, the ones with the exploitation stitching and fuck you lines. This is more about how sometimes, it's Windows that gets it right.

UPDATE: iCan't believe iGot the i in the wrong spot in the title. f1XX0r3d.

Freedom Bombs!

2010-12-26T16:29:00.002-05:00

Thanks to ongoing hostilities between Thers and Tintin i have no discovered the rich pile of putrid horrendousness that is the Tea Party Music Video. And like any good socialist, I am here to spread my suffering.

UPDATE: It's Tea Party Tiiiiiiii-iiiiiiime!

Cars Big as Bars, Rivers of Gold

2010-12-24T09:16:00.000-05:00

Confession Time. That guy with the horrible taste in music, listened to Top 40 pop radio all the time - who all of a sudden started bugging you to listen to the new band they just discovered? As if The Pogues were some sort of hidden treasure. As if you hadn't been listening to Kirsty MacColl since before A New England. I was that guy.

Well, I don't apologize. Sure I must have been annoying as hell, but I don't care - Fairytale of New York is a fucking amazing song. And sure it's not particularly representative of the work of Shane McGowan - but without Fairytale, I may never have discovered The Sick Bed of Cúchulainn.

Anyways, since it's Christmas Eve babe - I thought I'd piss off you Pogues purists some more with a bastardized cover. I don't fucking care if it's not "as good" as Shane and Kirsty, I love this version.

Haislip Update

2010-12-19T23:19:00.000-05:00

She's still not the new co-host, but apparently successfully punching a shark in the face has lost some of it's cachet.

Dragan Stevic of Serbia is the new Egyptian hero who killed a large shark which had previously terrorized numerous tourists (injured 4 and killed 1)...explained that Dragan had decided to go to the beach for a swim after a long night of drinking...climbed on the jumping board, told me to hold his beer and simply ran to jump... straight on the shark which was lurking near the beach, probably looking for its next victim. Dragan had nailed it right in the head, killing it instantly... At the moment, the fearless hero is in a hospital recovering from alcohol poisoning.

Wow. An inspiration to drunks everywhere.